Can't see straight...

Well, let's see. I think in my last post, I was saying how TIRED I was...well, that's NOTHING compared to what I feel like now! I have been awake since 5AM YESTERDAY morning. Ah, the life of a transplant coordinator. I had no sooner walked in my door at 6:30PM yesterday evening when I got a call from the transplant surgeon saying we had an organ offer for one of our kiddos. That started a long night of endless phone calls and traipsing around the OR which finally finished around 11:00AM today! :) I finished up pressing matters at work, and then scooted on home to SLEEP! Hooray! :) I'd love to take off tomorrow, but I have clinic, so I'll be bright and shiny at 8:30AM! :)

Okay. It's time for sleep.

I long for uninterrupted sleep....

I've been on call for a week. It's been mostly okay, with the exception of a few sleepless nights for transplants that haven't happened. All I can say, it will be very nice to not sleep with a 2 phones, my computer, and my pager next to my bed! I've got a week and half to go. This week should be more structured, especially with the transplant doctor back in town and on call. Hooray for structure!

Other than that, there's not much else going on. Oliver met Max today with no serious issues. He mostly just sniffed him and tried to get him to play, but Max was more interested in hiding.

I've been trying to plan vacations so I'm not stuck here in Dallas all summer, but so far it's not working out. Everyone's schedules are crazy, and it looks like it will be after my birthday before I can go have fun! Ah well, everyone needs a break at some point! :) I'll just save up my fun until then!

The thing I need to learn about being on call is how to LIVE while on call. Ever since I got a call last night, I've been staying close to home, almost afraid to do anything because I might miss a phone call. I even entertained the idea of sleeping in my living room last night so I would be sure to wake up if I was paged! I guess the newness will wear off eventually....I just hope it is sooner than later!

Puppies need love...gotta go!

All alone....

Well, the time has come. I am all by my self at work. Of course, I've always got back-up in case I need it....but I'm essentially alone. I've got the fancy palm phone, just waiting for it to ring and say "Hey, we've got a heart, call in the family". Now, just my luck, we'll get all the kids transplanted while I'm alone and I'll be busier than I know what to do with. BUT, that hasn't happened this weekend. It takes me longer to get ready to go now, there's not an option of leaving my cellphone at home. I have to have my pager, cell phone, and palm phone at all times...even in church! Today, I got paged in church, and I was rather surprised that my heart didn't jump the way I thought it would. Thankfully, it was only the floor saying hello, but it was still weird to get paged in church! :)

The next couple of weeks aren't as busy as usual, mostly because the transplant doctor is gone as well, but I'm okay with that. So, aside from going everywhere (including bed) with a host of phones, I'll be learning how to do the job alone. Then, when I'm not alone anymore, we can split up the tasks and not have someone in my business at all times! HOORAY!

Well, I'm sure there's a puppy around here that would like some attention. Guess I'll go find them. :)

Heart Update

I got a call from the cardiologist's office today. My stress test was NORMAL! :) My echo looked beautiful! NO Mitral valve prolapse! :) All the tranmissions I have sent them with my event monitor have been basically normal! I've got a lot of periods of tachycardia, but no premature beats out of my atriums or the ventricles. ALWAYS a good thing! So far, so good! I still have two weeks of monitoring. I DO know that I have a murmur, which at this point is innocent. I'm sure I'll be back at the cardiologist after everything is over, but at this point, my worry level is much less!

All is well here at the ranch. Hooray!

Birthday Girl

No, It's not my birthday yet. I've got three more months to play in my 20's! It's Liberty's birthday! I know all of you who have children and mortgages are probably rolling your eyes at the celebration of my dog's birthday, but hey...I don't have any of those things. I can take a moment to celebrate the being that's lived with me for almost 5 years!

SO, Liberty Grace is 5 years old today! She is still one of the most bright spots of my day! We did a lot of travelling today! We went to buy her some special food for her birthday dinner and ended up buying a birthday shirt as well. A little girl wanted to pet her in Petsmart, and when she was told it was Liberty's birthday, she said "Hey! It's my recital today, so that's TWO special things in ONE day!" How hilarious is that!? Kids are so fun!

After the shopping trip, we went to visit Sam and Max. Lib had never met Max until today, mostly because I didn't want her catching the neverending cold Max has had. ICK! So, today they met, and I'll say that Max was much more interested in Liberty than she was in him!

Liberty and I also went and visited her sister and brother. They shared birthday greetings, and then commenced with the sister attacks. After the bonding, we went to Home Depot to buy a curtain rod. A Home Depot employee followed us out to the car, asked me if he could hold her, and then carried her to the car for me. Of course, I was juggling a purse and a very large curtain rod, but whatever buddy! Just carry the dog! :)

Anyways. It's the end of a very long day, and I am looking forward to sleeping tonight. YAWN! Here's a picture of Liberty in her birthday shirt! Isn't it perfect?

Rainbow day!

Beautiful disaster....

Three years ago, it rained every single day in June. I had just moved into the duplex, and I was convinced it would never stop raining. This is pretty much how I have felt the last couple of weeks. It seems to not only rain, but bring large sheets of torrential downpour onto my house/car. I know that North Texas is getting out of a drought, but PLEASE! We've had ENOUGH! :) I did end up getting the most beautiful pictures of rainbows, but my computer is being evil at the moment. If it finally lets me, I'll post them. As a result of the rain, the mosquitoes are out of control because it never seems to dry out. It seems to be a festering ball of mosquito births. EW.

I had my appointment at the cardiologist today. I had an echocardiogram (sonogram of the heart), a stress test (lots of running on a treadmill), and placement of a 30 day event monitor. It was a busy day! It really made me feel for our kids who are poked and prodded with all kinds of monitors day in and day out. I don't know about our echo techs, but mine today was ready to HURT me! She poked that stupid wand into me so hard I have bruises. Ah well, if it helped her get better pictures, I'll just keep quiet. She said everything looked "Basically okay", but I'll take what the doctor says over her. The nurse who did my stress test was pleased with how I did. My heart rate got up to 191, but that's completely in range for someone my age. The event monitor is for me to be able to tell the doctor's office when I am having my weird fluttering/beat skipping episodes. I just press this little guy up to my chest and hit record! I don't even have to wear anything! HOORAY! No stickers! After I hit record, I just have to use a land line phone (of course, which I don't have) and transmit the recording. I asked the nurse and it's okay to use my work phone.

That's IT! Nothing else exciting happening. I'll try to post that picture again...nope. Not letting me. I'll have to try it tomorrow. Until then... :)

Beautiful lazy day!

I forgot what it's like to have weekends off. I have worked weekends since December 2000. I was teaching school at the time, and wanted some extra money. I worked all week at school, then every weekend at a hospital. It's been THAT long that I haven't been working weekends! They are so wonderful! I still despise working 5 days a week...I'd love to just work three again....but that's not in the job description.

I've been busy at work lately. We've been doing a lot of new evaluations. I just think this year is going to be one for the record books! Last year, we only did 10 transplants. We've already done 8, with three more on the list and 2 more in the evaluation process. CRAZY busy!

Today, It was just nice to do some things around the house and play with the puppies! I was supposed to go to the movies, but that didn't work out. Instead, I went over to Amanda's and hung out on her patio and ate brownies :). In talking with her, we discussed the medical mission trip to Honduras she went on in February. I think I'm actually in a job now where it's pretty easy for me to take off and go...so I am considering going with her next year. It's 10 days of HARD work, but I'm definitely not afraid of hard work!

Monday, I go back to the cardiologist. I'll let you know what happens...

And the beat goes on....

After spending a very relaxing weekend at my parents house in Houston, I got up bright and early yesterday and turned in my monitor at the cardiologist's office. I didn't expect to hear from them so soon, but I got a call yesterday afternoon saying it mostly looked normal, but there was some ectopy (extra beats, not normal!) noted. The doctor wanted me to go ahead and do the 30 day monitor to see if it shows up there. He also wanted me to have it while I am working to see if work is responsible for these beats. SO, I go back to the doctor on Monday for my echo, stress test, and placement of this monitor. Should be interesting.....

Oliver and Liberty are absolutely traumatized right now. They are both hiding from me because I just clipped nails. I literally had to lay on both of them to do it. Babies. Now Oliver is happily sitting on the porch watching birds and planes. Liberty is curled up and licking the couch. All is well in their lives...

The next few weeks should be very interesting at work. In a week, the transplant cardiologist goes on vacation for 2 weeks. In 2 weeks, the other coordinator goes...so it'll just be me. Right now, it looks like I'll be on call and everything. I'm sure it will be just the most interesting couple of weeks!

Okay. I'm off...YAWN.

Heart happenings.

Well, my visit with the cardiologist was somewhat helpful. In looking at my EKG, he saw there were things that could really just be attributed to my age. He said many times, these things have already gone away by the time someone is almost 30. He did say I have a heart murmur, which isn't normal is someone my age. It's normal in children, as many of them just go away with time. He thinks mine is a mitral valve prolapse, which just means the mitral valve doesn't close properly after the blood drains from the atrium into the ventricle. He also thinks I may have some kind of funky heart rhythm, but it wasn't showing up on the EKG. So, I got to wear a monitor for 24 hours and I'll take it back Tuesday to have it read. If nothing shows up, I may end up having to wear one for 30 days in order to catch it. I also get to have a stress echocardiogram in a week or so, just to get a better look at my heart and to see what's going on. I'm still kind-of in limbo, which I HATE. I also discovered I'm allergic to plastic tape. In an effort to keep the leads on for 24 hours, the tech taped the LIFE out of them. Well, now I have big red welts all over my chest. It's so attractive...and ITCHY! I'm sure those will be there for awhile!

I'm currently in Houston, enjoying my time away from Dallas. Liberty and Oliver are with me, running around the yard like hooligans. It's like Oliver has NEVER been outside before! He's still chasing birds and imaginary bugs, but now he has no constraints! He LOVES it! He did NOT like it today when I pulled out the garden hose and gave all puppies baths. There were some angry looks and he very purposefully writhed around in the grass while I was putting soap on him. Punk.

Anyways, that's my story. I'll let you know more as it happens. BYE!

Dangerous

I've very recently discovered it is extremely dangerous to be a cardiac nurse. It makes me have a wharped sense of what is and what is not normal in kids! When I see a healthy newborn, I am always amazed how PINK they are! To me, it's absolutely acceptable to be a nice shade of grey...especially when they cry.

The most interesting update to my life also relates to my dangerous profession. For the last couple of weeks, I've been having really odd palpitations and racing heart rates. I've kinda blown it off and attributed it to stress. I've also noticed that I am really tired all the time and my ankles are swelling...not so good. So, I made a doctor's appointment and went yesterday. She sent some labs, did an xray and an ekg. When EKG's are done, the machine usually prints out a little interpretation of what it thinks it sees. Those who run EKG's usually don't listen to that because it most of the time isn't correct. Well, mine said that it appeared as if I'd had ichemic changes...in normal people terms it looks like part of the heart wasn't responding as well to the electricity because it had areas where there was not enough oxygen. LOVELY! SO, does this mean I've had a heart attack and didn't even know? Does it mean my heart is dead? Who knows anything. I do know that I'm scheduled to see the cardiologist on Friday and hopefully find out some answers. But, until then, I just get to wonder!

Everything else is pretty stable. I'm still getting used to my new job...some days I really like it and some days I don't. It's all a process. I hate orientations because I don't like people breathing down my neck. I'm going to visit my parents this weekend, so hopefully I'll be able to get rid of some of the stress....AND I am going to see Pirates 3 on Thursday! HOORAY!:)

That's pretty much it. Any questions? :)

Happy Saturday!

For the last two years, Saturdays have just been routine, run of the mill days. Since I was working random days throughout the week, the specialness of the weekend was lost. It was just like any other day. Now that I am a Monday-Friday slave, my weekends are precious! I guess I just didn't realize that until last Sunday, when I had to sleep a lot of the day to recover from the transplant! I had all these plans...house cleaning and straightening, laundry, errands...and they just didn't get done because I was sleeping/exhausted! Today has been different, though! I've folded the frighteningly large pile of laundry that has been accumulating for several weeks. I've cleaned the kitchen and done all the dishes. I've even moved around furniture and have plans to move around more!

Wednesday I was inducted in the Nursing honor society (Sigma Theta Tau). Thursday was graduation...which I didn't attend. I'm now officially done and all graduated. It was so weird last week to receive my degree plan from UTA with the words "second baccalaureate" on the top. I now have the most degrees in my family...and I don't know what to think of that! Am I that person who just wants to accumulate degrees? No, I don't think so. I really don't like school at all...so why then do I have all these? I think part of it arises from my constant desire to be the best at what I do. While I was teaching, I knew I really enjoyed it, but also knew that was not what I would excel in. After getting my associates in nursing, I was very happy to have that degree, yet knew that at some point, I would need to finish it. Many nurses keep their associates forever, with no need to go on to bachelor's. I don't really know, at this point, why I went on...but I know it was for a reason. I DO know I won't be going back to school any time soon. I don't think I need to put my friends or family through that...apparently I'm not a nice person when I'm in school!

SO, THANK YOU to my friends and family. Thanks for listening to me whine and moan about how much I despised school. Thanks for continuing to tell me to push on through..and that I didn't have that much more to go. Thanks for celebrating with the good grades and awards.

There won't be a third bachelors for me...I don't need to garner up a collection! I may eventually go on to masters, but I won't do it just to prove to myself that I can. Having an advanced degree isn't going to make me a better person...I know people with even higher degrees that were just as happy with their first. Some people are completely happy without a degree...and that's perfectly fine too. Having higher education doesn't necessarily make you a better person. It all depends on what you choose to do with your life!

WOW. This has really turned out to be an excruciatingly long blog...and I'm starting to think I'm quite rambly!

Strangly enough, it is pouring outside. The sun is shining...and it's raining! ODD! Nessie can't be in her garage right now, so she's having to endure the lovely rain. I know Dallas was in a drought last year, but does it have to pour every other day? Can we just get a break? :) At least things will be nice and green this summer!

Okay. El fin. No mas. Es todo.

Sleep deprived.

Tired. Sleepy. Crabby. Angry to be awake. Mournful. Overwhelmed. Ecstatic. Euphoric. Amazed.

Being heart transplant coordinator is a world of emotions. It's SO exciting to be there for that experience. Last night, I got to call a precious mother and tell her we had a heart for her son. I got to be there when his old sickly heart was removed and the new one was sewn in. I saw, with my own eyes, the very instant the new heart started beating.

But it's also an overwhelming experience. We don't normally get to be on the donor side of things, but last night I was given the opportunity since I am new. I flew on the plane with the surgeon to help obtain the new heart. With one life with this new heart, meant one peaceful death for another. I pray I never stop seeing the child whose life has ended as an amazing individual.

Being up for 24+ hours is something I don't love at ALL. But, I guess if a child gets a new chance at life, it's completely worth it. I am going to be HAPPY that this happened over the weekend when I have a chance to get back on somewhat of a normal schedule. I took a nap this afternoon....and I am pretty sure I'll be tired enough to sleep well tonight.

The puppies spent the night at Becca's house. I hope they were good for her. They were SO pitiful when I left them last night! All they wanted to do was play! I feel bad they missed out on weekend playtime. At least Becca had them. She's going to bring them over later.

So YAWN. I sit here and watch TV, happily knowing I have nothing to study and NO homework to do! What a wonderful feeling! :) I just hope I can stay awake until it's actually alright for me to go to sleep!

Another time, another place....

Well, I'm not in Dallas...but I didnt' know that would happen when I woke up this morning. I've had the opportunity to go out on an organ recovery for a precious baby of ours who is getting a heart. So, I sit here and wait for them to let us in the OR so we can take this life giving organ and give it to a very deserving family. On the plane ride here, all I could do was pray for the family who is saying goodbye to their child. What a hard, yet lifegiving decision. I only hope that if I were to pass away, my family is able to know without a shadow of a doubt what my wishes are.

And so, while a family makes a selfless decision, I think of completely selfish things....like.... I am HUNGRY. I had sushi for dinner with Mom and Jen. If you know anything about sushi, it fills you up and doesn't leave you stuffed, but it tends to be like chinese food...it doesn't keep you full for long. SO. Now I am hungry. I'm also tired. It's 1:13AM and I won't be going into the OR until 1:30. YAWN. I'd like nothing better than to curl up and sleep, but I am VERY happy that I got to take a nap this afternoon. I thought it would hamper my ability to sleep tonight, but it turns out that this will not be a problem! I'm ALSO sad because my friend's baby is being dedicated tomorrow, and I think my lack of sleep will cause me to miss this. BLAST! Hopefully, I'll be alive for the after party. I'd also love a big GIANT diet Dr Pepper....but I'm seriously doubting that will happen considering I barely got here with my hosptial ID badge and my cell phone. I do feel fancy though...calling the surgeon...sneaking around OR's. And wouldn't you know it, my cell phone battery is dying. THat's just lovely. I've turned it off so it can recharge and hopefully it will last long enough for me to call from the airport once we touch down in Dallas. Then I don't really care if it is dead or not! :)

Well, it's almost time, so I guess I should get all signed out so I can leave quickly. Yawning again but SO thankful at the opportunity!

Step into the future....

Well, after spending the day at the funeral of my grandma's best friend, my parents gave me my graduation presents! My mom has been working on a T-shirt quilt for me for about a year. She finished it last month and brought it to me today! It's beautiful! :)

They also brought me my newest step into the 21st century....and IPOD! I keep borrowing my friend's ipods for when I'm at work and I absolutely need to listen to something other than my secretary's (oh yeah, I have a secretary! CRAZY!) oldies music! So now, I am attempting to place all my CD's on it. It's quite the process. I think I've been doing it forever...and it's only been a couple of hours. I've probably only have about 15 cd's left, and that doesn't count the complilation CD's that don't transfer!

SO, that's all that's been going on. Keep praying for my grandma. She also found out this afternoon that her brother passed away this morning. She's going through a lot right now!

YAWN. Guess I should go to bed. I'm awfully sleepy.

Four weeks later....

SO, now that four weeks have passed....let's just see!

I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL! Hooray! We finished off today with a fabulous party in the classroom, one that was very much deserved. Our clinical advisor gave us all presents and it was a very lovely ending. The last week, I haven't had any school work to do, and it's been a very odd feeling. I've been reading non school books and LOVING it!

I have a new job! I'm still trying very hard to get used to it, and I think it will take awhile. I really miss taking care of my kids on the floor, but am loving seeing all these kids every week. I have an office, which I share with 2 other women, but I have my very own section with a LOT of room to decorate! Ideas anyone? I've got business cards coming, along with my very own lab coat! Aren't I official? I've had to jump into my job a little faster than I'd like, seeing everyone in heart transplant but me is at conference this week! We still have a baby on the waiting list for a heart, and part of me just hopes it doesn't happen quite yet!

NESSIE IS HEALED! If you don't know who Nessie is, you absolutely need to spend more time with me. Nessie's my car...and she had a nice big dent in her bumper...but no more! She's beautiful and shiny! I did have to drive a piece of junk Sentra for a week (it's horrid to go back to a car after having a SUV!), but now I have her back and am HAPPY!

Wardrobe? Well, we're getting there. I really despise shopping for clothes, although I find it less and less annoying the smaller I get. I've got some clothes. Thankfully, I can wear scrubs on Wednesdays (clinic day), so I've got less days I have to plan for. I'm now always going to be on the hunt for a bargain. Anyone know any?

RETREAT! What a blessing! Jennifer, Tammy, and I stayed at the Gaylord Texan and learned all about JOY! I desperately needed this soul "makeover" as I know I've been a crabby and not so nice person this semester. We also got to hear Joy Williams's beautiful voice, and I'm now so addicted to her music! What an amazing message she has to share!

Four weeks ago, I was hoping more would be different in a month. Now, I'm kinda glad there's nothing else! I need some normalcy in my life! I'm not sure that's going to ever come!

Friendships are forever.

I was all prepared to write how crazy my week was going. My new job is tiring, but I haven't completely decided what I think about it yet! I'm sure I'll enjoy it once I figure out what's going on!

My grandma (dad's mom) experienced a great loss tonight, her best friend of 60+ years. Grandma and Katie met in nursing school...and dated cousins. They eventually married cousins and both moved from the midwest to Texas. They shared the births of their children, the empty nest, the passing away of their husbands...and remained friends through it all. They vacationed together, shopped together, grew old together. Pray for my grandma...and for Katie's family...which is my family since we're all cousins! I think the funeral is on Saturday, which is a rotten excuse to see my family, but oh well. I need to be there to support my grandma. What a wonderful example of friendship I have in front of me!

Let's see....aside from being at work, I've pretty much been doing a LOT of non school reading and watching Dancing with the Stars/The Bachelor. Doesn't that sound productive? I just have to give a presentation on Thursday and then I'm done!!!

I saw one of my most favorite kiddos today in the clinic. She was here for a well check up...and she looks amazing! I've really bonded with her family and it's wonderful to see how far she's come! She was my first very VERY sick baby when I was just off orientation. I took care of her when I was on night shift and her mom and I spent MANY sleepless nights worried about her! And now she's almost 2! Her mom always brings me pictures to put on my name badge! She's such a miracle baby!

Well, must be going...I've got lots of kids to see in clinic tomorrow, so today should be faster than today! I forgot to explain that ALL the heart transplant people are in conference in San Francisco this week...and I mean all! The transplant doctor, the surgeons, the other coordinator! So, I get to see all these kids by myself...but thankfully I have a really great manager who has promised to see them with me! Today, I didn't see ANY kids and was so freaked out by the quiet I had to go steal a friend's IPOD (I'd love one, by the way!) so I had SOMETHING to listen to!

Okay. Now I am gone. Adios!

Prayers lifted

Well, I've started my new job...and it's going fine.

But all seems small to the burden that is heavy on my heart...for a precious 16 year old patient of mine. He's very VERY sick right now, and really needs your prayers. Thanks to our ridiculous government, I can't say much about him...but I can say that he is a SWEET boy that loves the LORD and is very very sick. I visited him in the ICU yesterday after his surgery and he was SO sleepy, but tried to still do his secret handshake with me. And now he's sick and we're not even sure how bad the damage is. He needs a miracle.

So pray for him. He's such a sweetie.

The countdown.

Don't you hate when something exciting is about to happen and time just almost stands still? Then, when the exciting thing occurs, it goes by SO quickly that you don't even have time to stop and think? This is how it is seeming to go for me! I am starting my new job on Monday, and the time is just CRAWLING by. I really want to just get it over with...the anticipation, the nervousness, all those crazy emotions are killing me!

I've got busy weeks ahead of me...and I'm not sure how to handle all the excitement! Of course, my new job starts Monday...and then the following Friday, Tammy, Jennifer, and I are going to a Women's retreat! Hooray! I also just found out that I'm being inducted into the nursing honor society for school, so I have that induction coming up in a few weeks, as well as the end of school!

I've been thinking lately about the possibility of buying a house. I'd like to see my rent money go somewhere more significant than a rental, so I'd really like your prayers on that. I know I'm getting a pay raise in my new job, but I don't know if it is the most financially responsible choice. Any suggestions? Advice?

Oliver and Liberty are doing well, and currently curled up in a big pile on/next to my leg. With the weather being nicer, I am sad they don't have a yard to play in, but they get to be outside a lot as I keep the patio door open most of the time. They spend a lot of time curled up in the sun out there. Oliver really loves to bark at people outside, but I'm making headway with that nasty habit by squirting him with a water bottle each time he does it. He hates it.




Other than all that mess, things are going well. I'm preparing myself to start a "regular person" job...and don't even know how to do that. I've always had odd hours...School teachers are there from 7:30-whenever they are done! For me it was always past 6 or so because I was coaching. Unit Secretary? 3-11. Not really hours conducive to any sort of life! Nurse? 7a-7p 3 days a week. Killer hours, but nice to be there only 3 days. Now..I have no idea what my hours will turn out to be. I'm sure during orientation they won't be idea, but I think they will settle out once I'm done and the 2 person job is actually being done by 2 people.

Enjoy your day!

April 15

I have a start date! It's amazing, but true! Starting April 15th, I will report to a different department, carry a pager, have an office and a phone line, and work a normal work day. I am excited, but nervous! :)