On the homefront.

Is it really only Tuesday? It seems like this week is dragging on, but maybe that's because I've been on call FOREVER! Can you believe tomorrow is August? YIKES! In trying to fix the schedule so we're on call for blocks of time longer than a week, I put myself on call through August 8. I have had mostly uninterrupted sleep, with a couple of completely random calls here and there...nothing serious. I go off call for outpatient on Friday, so I'll only be on donor call after that. Ta DA! :)

We've had busy weeks at the hospital, with all the transplants going on and such. I've been on inpatient this week, and we've had some major milestones! We've had babies get off the ventilator, babies have to go back on the ventilator, and babies get ready to go home.

I have Oliver this week, and he's been a precious baby. He's hilarious. He got into a little bit of trouble on Friday when he bit the vet tech. In Oliver's defense, the guy did sneak up on him and go to put something on Oliver's neck...so it wasn't entirely his fault. Oliver is such a pansy to anyone who knows him. Two hours after he got home from the vet, he had already curled up on my friend Amanda's lap and showed her his stomach. The vicious, vicious beast! :) Now he's completely passed out on the couch with his sister. Sweet baby.




Well, nothing else is really going on around here. Hopefully things will get interesting this weekend, but since it seems everyone around me is going out of town except me, should be interesting. Have a great weekend! :)

Miracles abounding.

Being on call certainly opens up a whirlwind of emotions, which I believe I have mentioned in numerous blogs. This weekend, it was CRAZY! Of course, I hadn't been on what we call "donor call" in 2 weeks. This means I am the one the surgeon calls if there's a transplant. Starting last Friday, I've been on both donor call and outpatient call (when the post-transplants have questions). At 9AM Friday morning, after only being on call 2 hours, I already had a transplant to plan! All went well, and I was able to go home around 1AM. Saturday, I had planned to spend the day reading the new Harry Potter book. Well, our hospital transferred in a patient to be evaluated for transplant, so I spent the day giving orders and getting financial approval. That night, I went to the movies and saw both Harry Potter and Ratatoiulle. SUCH good movies! I got home about 2AM (it was a late movie!) and happily went to sleep....excited to spend Sunday afternoon reading my book. Well, that happy sleep was interrupted by a phone call at 4AM regarding ANOTHER transplant! That's 2 in less than 36 hours! YIKES! :) The second transplant was my precious little angel that missed out on a heart earlier in the week....we had miracles all OVER the place!

Needless to say, I've been spending my week getting caught up on the sleep I missed over the weekend. I'm on call again this weekend, but I am NOT on outpatient call too...so hopefully I'll just get to hang out and SLEEP! Liberty is VERY excited to have me actually sleep in my own bed...so I know she's going to be glad I'm home. I also get Oliver back tomorrow...so there will be PLENTY of fun around here! It's always a little quiet without Oliver. I think Liberty will be happy to see him.

I need so badly to go on vacation! I checked my time off today and I have 200 hours saved up! That is WAY too much vacation to keep to myself! I am planning a trip to Mexico this fall with some friends, but I just need to get it set in stone. I've also gotten a lot more fiesty about my time on call. I was going to have to be on call my birthday weekend, but thankfully, I am not because I said NO WAY and now I'll be free for partying!

No other news to report. Puppies are happy. Babies are getting new hearts. I am finally well rested again. Life goes on.

The pros and cons.

Last night, we received a heart offer for my favorite little baby. I've been there for this family since they were told she needed a transplant. There's just some families that you bond with more than others...and this family is so special to me! I got to be the one to tell them we had a heart for their baby, which is absolutely one of the most exciting things I have been able to do. This mom is absolutely amazing to me. After her initial excitement about her daughter's life being saved, her thoughts went straight to the donor family and started lifting up prayers for them in their time of need.

I also had to turn around 12 hours later and tell them the heart wasn't good anymore and their daughter would not be getting her life-saving transplant that night. I have begun to despise that conversation. Please keep this precious family in your prayers. It's an absolutely emotional roller coaster, and I know they would be so thankful for these prayers. I am just so thankful we discovered the heart was unacceptable before it was placed in this precious little girl.

I go back on call Friday. Nights spent with two phones and a pager. YIPPEE! Should be interesting when we have 2 kids sitting right at the top of the list! :) We tend to get heart offers almost every other day...so I'm sure sleepless nights are in order! I took a nap this afternoon after being up all night, and I feel so much better, but nothing prepares you for the adrenaline rushes of this job!

Well, guess I should find something for dinner...and Liberty is begging!

The calm...

Well, I've been off call for a week now...and I can't say I haven't enjoyed it! How nice is it to go to sleep uninterrupted, and sleep with NO phone/computer/pager next to my bed! It's weird to think how comforting that is! :) I have almost remembered what it is to have a normal existance! :) Of course, I go back on call in a week or so, but I think it will be different this time. Hopefully, it will be for the better.

I have had one of my favorite babies admitted this week. Her mom and I have formed such a bond, and I absolutely LOVE their family. She's sitting at the top of the transplant list right now, and I pray EVERY DAY that an offer comes through for her. She's such a little angel and I absolutely LOVE her parents.

Not much else is going on. I have been very bored at work this week, mostly because my counterpart wont' let me help her...but that's okay. I don't know if I would want to have her help me! It's such DRAMA in the heart transplant office!

Oliver went back to Becca's this week. I think Liberty really misses him! Her grandma was here earlier in the week, and now she's just mourning the loss of both of them. She's currently curled up in a little ball next to me...she's so insane.

Oliver ALSO learned to climb trees this week! At Grandma's house, he was obsessed with finding squirrels...any way he could! If that meant climbing trees, he was all for it! I'll have to post the picture of him climbing the trees...he's so funny!



That's pretty much the week! Working. Bored. That's IT! Pray for heart offers on my three waiting babies!

Only one more day....

After three weeks, three heart offers that didn't go through (but still kept me up all night!), two transplants (one of which I am getting ready to go to right now!), I AM READY TO BE DONE WITH CALL! At least for this one, I got a 1/2 hour of sleep instead of NONE! Hooray for small blessings! Let's just say I will be more than happy to return the stupid transplant phone and not wear my pager ALL DAY! :)

I do love my job. It's just hard to like it at 3:01AM when I know I'll be busy all day...on minimal sleep. Poor puppies. They will be pitiful, I am sure. Ah, there goes the alarm clock. I set FOUR alarms to make sure I woke up. Of course, I got paged an hour before I was supposed to wake up, and wasn't able to go back to sleep. Ah, the 2nd alarm goes...perhaps I should turn them off!

The cry of the unable...

Before anyone gets any wild ideas about me reproducing, let me be the first to tell you I have NO current plans for this. I just have a few friends who are battling infertility and this video was especially moving to me. There are so many people having children who shouldn't be....and so many trying that can't.

Caught up!

You never EVER realize how much value sleep has until you don't get it! Since I didn't sleep a wink on Monday night, I spent the rest of the week catching up! I am happy to say that I am now caught up! :) I've got only a few more days on my own, and then I'm going on a mini-vacation! I leave Thursday morning for my grandma's house in Central Texas and I'll be back Sunday night with my mother in tow! She's gonna spend a few days visiting up here. Liberty and Oliver are very excited to go visit the country...they mostly just like the yard! My grandma says there are lots of foxes and deer out this year...I'm sure that will absolutely torture Oliver. He does love to chase things...

I had an appointment with my cardiologist on Friday. He was mildly concerned that my resting heart rate is usually over 100. It should be 60-80. He gave me a medication to take when I feel it racing. The ironic thing is that since my co-worker has left town, I haven't had one single palpitation! He told me he would write a letter asking for her to be fired if I wanted! :) He also let me look at my echo. It was basically normal with a touch of mitral valve regurgitation. This isn't a problem right now, but we'll see what it does later on. That's why I have a murmur. Overall a good visit! I haven't filled the prescription yet...I'm such a bad nurse! :)

This weekend I got most of my house clean! I even dusted! I attempted vacuuming, which lasted a good hour before Oliver started shredding his toy carcasses all over the house. I gave up on the clean floor. At least I attempted. I still need to finish cleaning the bathroom, but that shouldn't take too long. I HATE cleaning and I really despise spending my long awaited weekends doing it.

Anyways. This should be a nice short week, especially since I'll only be working TWO days! I'm going to be on my first call this week....which means I'll get all the calls from our post-transplants at any hour of the day. I'm sure someone will have a wonderful 4th of July and try to injure themselves and need to call me. That will be LOADS of fun! I don't even know if I'll be able to go see fireworks! I'd never be able to hear a call over those!

Well, I'd better continue cleaning...or at least attempting to avoid it. Liberty is currently being punished in the bathroom for peeing on the floor. She's been in there almost an hour. She's normally decided she's done by now and barked...but no such barking.

Ah, I went and saw Ratatouille this weekend! I HIGHLY recommend it! It was SO SO cute! Pixar does such a great job!

Have a great week!

Can't see straight...

Well, let's see. I think in my last post, I was saying how TIRED I was...well, that's NOTHING compared to what I feel like now! I have been awake since 5AM YESTERDAY morning. Ah, the life of a transplant coordinator. I had no sooner walked in my door at 6:30PM yesterday evening when I got a call from the transplant surgeon saying we had an organ offer for one of our kiddos. That started a long night of endless phone calls and traipsing around the OR which finally finished around 11:00AM today! :) I finished up pressing matters at work, and then scooted on home to SLEEP! Hooray! :) I'd love to take off tomorrow, but I have clinic, so I'll be bright and shiny at 8:30AM! :)

Okay. It's time for sleep.

I long for uninterrupted sleep....

I've been on call for a week. It's been mostly okay, with the exception of a few sleepless nights for transplants that haven't happened. All I can say, it will be very nice to not sleep with a 2 phones, my computer, and my pager next to my bed! I've got a week and half to go. This week should be more structured, especially with the transplant doctor back in town and on call. Hooray for structure!

Other than that, there's not much else going on. Oliver met Max today with no serious issues. He mostly just sniffed him and tried to get him to play, but Max was more interested in hiding.

I've been trying to plan vacations so I'm not stuck here in Dallas all summer, but so far it's not working out. Everyone's schedules are crazy, and it looks like it will be after my birthday before I can go have fun! Ah well, everyone needs a break at some point! :) I'll just save up my fun until then!

The thing I need to learn about being on call is how to LIVE while on call. Ever since I got a call last night, I've been staying close to home, almost afraid to do anything because I might miss a phone call. I even entertained the idea of sleeping in my living room last night so I would be sure to wake up if I was paged! I guess the newness will wear off eventually....I just hope it is sooner than later!

Puppies need love...gotta go!

All alone....

Well, the time has come. I am all by my self at work. Of course, I've always got back-up in case I need it....but I'm essentially alone. I've got the fancy palm phone, just waiting for it to ring and say "Hey, we've got a heart, call in the family". Now, just my luck, we'll get all the kids transplanted while I'm alone and I'll be busier than I know what to do with. BUT, that hasn't happened this weekend. It takes me longer to get ready to go now, there's not an option of leaving my cellphone at home. I have to have my pager, cell phone, and palm phone at all times...even in church! Today, I got paged in church, and I was rather surprised that my heart didn't jump the way I thought it would. Thankfully, it was only the floor saying hello, but it was still weird to get paged in church! :)

The next couple of weeks aren't as busy as usual, mostly because the transplant doctor is gone as well, but I'm okay with that. So, aside from going everywhere (including bed) with a host of phones, I'll be learning how to do the job alone. Then, when I'm not alone anymore, we can split up the tasks and not have someone in my business at all times! HOORAY!

Well, I'm sure there's a puppy around here that would like some attention. Guess I'll go find them. :)

Heart Update

I got a call from the cardiologist's office today. My stress test was NORMAL! :) My echo looked beautiful! NO Mitral valve prolapse! :) All the tranmissions I have sent them with my event monitor have been basically normal! I've got a lot of periods of tachycardia, but no premature beats out of my atriums or the ventricles. ALWAYS a good thing! So far, so good! I still have two weeks of monitoring. I DO know that I have a murmur, which at this point is innocent. I'm sure I'll be back at the cardiologist after everything is over, but at this point, my worry level is much less!

All is well here at the ranch. Hooray!

Birthday Girl

No, It's not my birthday yet. I've got three more months to play in my 20's! It's Liberty's birthday! I know all of you who have children and mortgages are probably rolling your eyes at the celebration of my dog's birthday, but hey...I don't have any of those things. I can take a moment to celebrate the being that's lived with me for almost 5 years!

SO, Liberty Grace is 5 years old today! She is still one of the most bright spots of my day! We did a lot of travelling today! We went to buy her some special food for her birthday dinner and ended up buying a birthday shirt as well. A little girl wanted to pet her in Petsmart, and when she was told it was Liberty's birthday, she said "Hey! It's my recital today, so that's TWO special things in ONE day!" How hilarious is that!? Kids are so fun!

After the shopping trip, we went to visit Sam and Max. Lib had never met Max until today, mostly because I didn't want her catching the neverending cold Max has had. ICK! So, today they met, and I'll say that Max was much more interested in Liberty than she was in him!

Liberty and I also went and visited her sister and brother. They shared birthday greetings, and then commenced with the sister attacks. After the bonding, we went to Home Depot to buy a curtain rod. A Home Depot employee followed us out to the car, asked me if he could hold her, and then carried her to the car for me. Of course, I was juggling a purse and a very large curtain rod, but whatever buddy! Just carry the dog! :)

Anyways. It's the end of a very long day, and I am looking forward to sleeping tonight. YAWN! Here's a picture of Liberty in her birthday shirt! Isn't it perfect?

Rainbow day!

Beautiful disaster....

Three years ago, it rained every single day in June. I had just moved into the duplex, and I was convinced it would never stop raining. This is pretty much how I have felt the last couple of weeks. It seems to not only rain, but bring large sheets of torrential downpour onto my house/car. I know that North Texas is getting out of a drought, but PLEASE! We've had ENOUGH! :) I did end up getting the most beautiful pictures of rainbows, but my computer is being evil at the moment. If it finally lets me, I'll post them. As a result of the rain, the mosquitoes are out of control because it never seems to dry out. It seems to be a festering ball of mosquito births. EW.

I had my appointment at the cardiologist today. I had an echocardiogram (sonogram of the heart), a stress test (lots of running on a treadmill), and placement of a 30 day event monitor. It was a busy day! It really made me feel for our kids who are poked and prodded with all kinds of monitors day in and day out. I don't know about our echo techs, but mine today was ready to HURT me! She poked that stupid wand into me so hard I have bruises. Ah well, if it helped her get better pictures, I'll just keep quiet. She said everything looked "Basically okay", but I'll take what the doctor says over her. The nurse who did my stress test was pleased with how I did. My heart rate got up to 191, but that's completely in range for someone my age. The event monitor is for me to be able to tell the doctor's office when I am having my weird fluttering/beat skipping episodes. I just press this little guy up to my chest and hit record! I don't even have to wear anything! HOORAY! No stickers! After I hit record, I just have to use a land line phone (of course, which I don't have) and transmit the recording. I asked the nurse and it's okay to use my work phone.

That's IT! Nothing else exciting happening. I'll try to post that picture again...nope. Not letting me. I'll have to try it tomorrow. Until then... :)

Beautiful lazy day!

I forgot what it's like to have weekends off. I have worked weekends since December 2000. I was teaching school at the time, and wanted some extra money. I worked all week at school, then every weekend at a hospital. It's been THAT long that I haven't been working weekends! They are so wonderful! I still despise working 5 days a week...I'd love to just work three again....but that's not in the job description.

I've been busy at work lately. We've been doing a lot of new evaluations. I just think this year is going to be one for the record books! Last year, we only did 10 transplants. We've already done 8, with three more on the list and 2 more in the evaluation process. CRAZY busy!

Today, It was just nice to do some things around the house and play with the puppies! I was supposed to go to the movies, but that didn't work out. Instead, I went over to Amanda's and hung out on her patio and ate brownies :). In talking with her, we discussed the medical mission trip to Honduras she went on in February. I think I'm actually in a job now where it's pretty easy for me to take off and go...so I am considering going with her next year. It's 10 days of HARD work, but I'm definitely not afraid of hard work!

Monday, I go back to the cardiologist. I'll let you know what happens...

And the beat goes on....

After spending a very relaxing weekend at my parents house in Houston, I got up bright and early yesterday and turned in my monitor at the cardiologist's office. I didn't expect to hear from them so soon, but I got a call yesterday afternoon saying it mostly looked normal, but there was some ectopy (extra beats, not normal!) noted. The doctor wanted me to go ahead and do the 30 day monitor to see if it shows up there. He also wanted me to have it while I am working to see if work is responsible for these beats. SO, I go back to the doctor on Monday for my echo, stress test, and placement of this monitor. Should be interesting.....

Oliver and Liberty are absolutely traumatized right now. They are both hiding from me because I just clipped nails. I literally had to lay on both of them to do it. Babies. Now Oliver is happily sitting on the porch watching birds and planes. Liberty is curled up and licking the couch. All is well in their lives...

The next few weeks should be very interesting at work. In a week, the transplant cardiologist goes on vacation for 2 weeks. In 2 weeks, the other coordinator goes...so it'll just be me. Right now, it looks like I'll be on call and everything. I'm sure it will be just the most interesting couple of weeks!

Okay. I'm off...YAWN.

Heart happenings.

Well, my visit with the cardiologist was somewhat helpful. In looking at my EKG, he saw there were things that could really just be attributed to my age. He said many times, these things have already gone away by the time someone is almost 30. He did say I have a heart murmur, which isn't normal is someone my age. It's normal in children, as many of them just go away with time. He thinks mine is a mitral valve prolapse, which just means the mitral valve doesn't close properly after the blood drains from the atrium into the ventricle. He also thinks I may have some kind of funky heart rhythm, but it wasn't showing up on the EKG. So, I got to wear a monitor for 24 hours and I'll take it back Tuesday to have it read. If nothing shows up, I may end up having to wear one for 30 days in order to catch it. I also get to have a stress echocardiogram in a week or so, just to get a better look at my heart and to see what's going on. I'm still kind-of in limbo, which I HATE. I also discovered I'm allergic to plastic tape. In an effort to keep the leads on for 24 hours, the tech taped the LIFE out of them. Well, now I have big red welts all over my chest. It's so attractive...and ITCHY! I'm sure those will be there for awhile!

I'm currently in Houston, enjoying my time away from Dallas. Liberty and Oliver are with me, running around the yard like hooligans. It's like Oliver has NEVER been outside before! He's still chasing birds and imaginary bugs, but now he has no constraints! He LOVES it! He did NOT like it today when I pulled out the garden hose and gave all puppies baths. There were some angry looks and he very purposefully writhed around in the grass while I was putting soap on him. Punk.

Anyways, that's my story. I'll let you know more as it happens. BYE!

Dangerous

I've very recently discovered it is extremely dangerous to be a cardiac nurse. It makes me have a wharped sense of what is and what is not normal in kids! When I see a healthy newborn, I am always amazed how PINK they are! To me, it's absolutely acceptable to be a nice shade of grey...especially when they cry.

The most interesting update to my life also relates to my dangerous profession. For the last couple of weeks, I've been having really odd palpitations and racing heart rates. I've kinda blown it off and attributed it to stress. I've also noticed that I am really tired all the time and my ankles are swelling...not so good. So, I made a doctor's appointment and went yesterday. She sent some labs, did an xray and an ekg. When EKG's are done, the machine usually prints out a little interpretation of what it thinks it sees. Those who run EKG's usually don't listen to that because it most of the time isn't correct. Well, mine said that it appeared as if I'd had ichemic changes...in normal people terms it looks like part of the heart wasn't responding as well to the electricity because it had areas where there was not enough oxygen. LOVELY! SO, does this mean I've had a heart attack and didn't even know? Does it mean my heart is dead? Who knows anything. I do know that I'm scheduled to see the cardiologist on Friday and hopefully find out some answers. But, until then, I just get to wonder!

Everything else is pretty stable. I'm still getting used to my new job...some days I really like it and some days I don't. It's all a process. I hate orientations because I don't like people breathing down my neck. I'm going to visit my parents this weekend, so hopefully I'll be able to get rid of some of the stress....AND I am going to see Pirates 3 on Thursday! HOORAY!:)

That's pretty much it. Any questions? :)

Happy Saturday!

For the last two years, Saturdays have just been routine, run of the mill days. Since I was working random days throughout the week, the specialness of the weekend was lost. It was just like any other day. Now that I am a Monday-Friday slave, my weekends are precious! I guess I just didn't realize that until last Sunday, when I had to sleep a lot of the day to recover from the transplant! I had all these plans...house cleaning and straightening, laundry, errands...and they just didn't get done because I was sleeping/exhausted! Today has been different, though! I've folded the frighteningly large pile of laundry that has been accumulating for several weeks. I've cleaned the kitchen and done all the dishes. I've even moved around furniture and have plans to move around more!

Wednesday I was inducted in the Nursing honor society (Sigma Theta Tau). Thursday was graduation...which I didn't attend. I'm now officially done and all graduated. It was so weird last week to receive my degree plan from UTA with the words "second baccalaureate" on the top. I now have the most degrees in my family...and I don't know what to think of that! Am I that person who just wants to accumulate degrees? No, I don't think so. I really don't like school at all...so why then do I have all these? I think part of it arises from my constant desire to be the best at what I do. While I was teaching, I knew I really enjoyed it, but also knew that was not what I would excel in. After getting my associates in nursing, I was very happy to have that degree, yet knew that at some point, I would need to finish it. Many nurses keep their associates forever, with no need to go on to bachelor's. I don't really know, at this point, why I went on...but I know it was for a reason. I DO know I won't be going back to school any time soon. I don't think I need to put my friends or family through that...apparently I'm not a nice person when I'm in school!

SO, THANK YOU to my friends and family. Thanks for listening to me whine and moan about how much I despised school. Thanks for continuing to tell me to push on through..and that I didn't have that much more to go. Thanks for celebrating with the good grades and awards.

There won't be a third bachelors for me...I don't need to garner up a collection! I may eventually go on to masters, but I won't do it just to prove to myself that I can. Having an advanced degree isn't going to make me a better person...I know people with even higher degrees that were just as happy with their first. Some people are completely happy without a degree...and that's perfectly fine too. Having higher education doesn't necessarily make you a better person. It all depends on what you choose to do with your life!

WOW. This has really turned out to be an excruciatingly long blog...and I'm starting to think I'm quite rambly!

Strangly enough, it is pouring outside. The sun is shining...and it's raining! ODD! Nessie can't be in her garage right now, so she's having to endure the lovely rain. I know Dallas was in a drought last year, but does it have to pour every other day? Can we just get a break? :) At least things will be nice and green this summer!

Okay. El fin. No mas. Es todo.

Sleep deprived.

Tired. Sleepy. Crabby. Angry to be awake. Mournful. Overwhelmed. Ecstatic. Euphoric. Amazed.

Being heart transplant coordinator is a world of emotions. It's SO exciting to be there for that experience. Last night, I got to call a precious mother and tell her we had a heart for her son. I got to be there when his old sickly heart was removed and the new one was sewn in. I saw, with my own eyes, the very instant the new heart started beating.

But it's also an overwhelming experience. We don't normally get to be on the donor side of things, but last night I was given the opportunity since I am new. I flew on the plane with the surgeon to help obtain the new heart. With one life with this new heart, meant one peaceful death for another. I pray I never stop seeing the child whose life has ended as an amazing individual.

Being up for 24+ hours is something I don't love at ALL. But, I guess if a child gets a new chance at life, it's completely worth it. I am going to be HAPPY that this happened over the weekend when I have a chance to get back on somewhat of a normal schedule. I took a nap this afternoon....and I am pretty sure I'll be tired enough to sleep well tonight.

The puppies spent the night at Becca's house. I hope they were good for her. They were SO pitiful when I left them last night! All they wanted to do was play! I feel bad they missed out on weekend playtime. At least Becca had them. She's going to bring them over later.

So YAWN. I sit here and watch TV, happily knowing I have nothing to study and NO homework to do! What a wonderful feeling! :) I just hope I can stay awake until it's actually alright for me to go to sleep!