Still crabby, but I have answers!

Okay, so the crabbiness still is present. Nothing I did today was going to take away that. BUT, I did get some answers from the doctor. So, I have "dry beriberi", which is a disorder people get from nutritional deficiencies of Vitamin B-1 or thiamine. According to Wikipedia (my favorite website!)....

"Its symptoms include weight loss, emotional disturbances, impaired sensory perception (Wernicke's encephalopathy), weakness and pain in the limbs, and periods of irregular heart rate."

Well, I certainly have emotional disturbances! :) The treatment is simple...take lots of B-1 and eat legumes, green veggies, and fruit!

Here's the frustrating thing about all of this. Since I got my GB, I have had all of the RARE complications. The chance of getting a stricture is 4%. But of course, I had one. The chance of needing your gallbladder out after GB is about 5%...which we all know how that one ended. Beriberi is also a rare complication. I am such a freak! Let's just see what other fabulously exciting complications are around the corner. I hope NONE!!!!

Little Miss Crabbypatty

WOW. Am I crabby today or WHAT?

I've had this weird leg pain ever since I left the hospital. It's almost like they are numb. Very odd. Anyways, I've been taking just a snippet of pain meds to help them relax before I go to sleep. Yesterday, I ran out. Therefore, I had a wee inkling that this would lead to no sleep. I was SO SO right. I tossed and turned for a good five hours before getting absolutely frustrated and taking a benadryl (which I despise!).

The moral of this story is that I'm in the worst possible mood today. I'm trying to be a bright and happy spirit, but it's not doing a bit of good. I have a doctor's appointment today so maybe there will be some insight shed on my dilemma. Perhaps it's vitamins? There's no telling. Anyways, I'm certain I will get to run all over Baylor getting labs and other asundry things before I go back to work and have to bite my tongue to not hurt my co-worker who has me on call until the end of time. Wasn't that the longest sentence? :) See, I still have somewhat of a sense of humor...

Completely random

Most of my posts actually have some meaning...but not this one. It's just that kinda day. Just thought I'd share some random tidbits with you.

1. I hate folding laundry. I guess most people hate folding it, so that's not the weird part. The weird part is that I love to DO laundry! I love getting every single solitary piece of dirty clothes/towels in my house and throwing it into the washer...I just can't transfer that love to folding. Ick.

2. I'm a terrible box packer. Today, I've packed four boxes that were a completely random mix of stuff. I don't label either. That should be fun for me when I'm attempting to unpack.

3. I'm addicted to water! This is the weirdest thing I've ever had to admit! I used to despise it...never EVER drank it. All I drank was Diet Dr Pepper or Diet Coke. I haven't had either of those things for over three months and I don't miss them at all! I'm also addicted to saltines, but that's a whole different conversation.

4. I despise cooking, but can't get enough of the Food Network. If I could have my five top channels, it would be ABC, NBC, CW, Bravo, and Food Network. Right now, I'm watching a marathon of Next Food Networt Star. Sometimes I wish I could cook. I have so much beautiful kitchen stuff, but most of it just sits there for "someday".

Well, my dryer buzzer is going off. I guess it's time to move the clothes to a chair and put the stuff from the washer in. Hooray for clean clothes! Boo to folding! Anyone like to fold?

In awe

WOWSERS. I now have crossed the halfway mark in my weight loss...and it's only been three months! I'll admit, I haven't had the smoothest journey, but I wasn't expecting it to be easy. After being puny and sick for so long, it's nice to be able to eat like I'm supposed to.

I crossed over one of my first goals this week. I've been waiting to see my weight go below 100kg, which it did today! My second goal is to see my weight go below 200lbs, something I haven't seen since I put on that "freshman 15" or in my case, the freshmen 30. I am SO SO close! WOW! Still can't believe that one.

Thanks for continuing to watch my journey and encourage me. It means more to me than you will ever know.

I despise packing.

It's been a busy week! Wait, aren't they all? I don't know why I'm surprised when each week seems busier than the last. Ah well, I guess it's good that I only have Liberty and Oliver to worry about at home. I can't imaging having to go home to a family and function after one of my very frequent crazy days!

I signed my lease for my new apartment this week! I will get my keys on August 25th, but won't actually move until the 30th. Hopefully that week I will be able to take over some small things that I'm capable of carrying...since I'm strictly forbidden from lifting anything over 20lbs for awhile. Stupid surgery. Now I've started the packing drama. Jennifer and Michael gave me an entire mess of boxes, which saved me from having to buy them. I am dragging them up the stairs, a few at a time. It's quite a sight...me, two dogs, and boxes. I'm trying to pack the non-essential things so I get those things out of the way. My living/dining rooms are now completely de-decorated. I've got a bookcase in the bedroom to hopefully do tonight, but that might not happen.

This week, I'm alone at work. My counterpart is "on vacation", which is mostly delightful. At least I won't have to deal with her drama! I end up being busier, but at least things are usually a bit calmer because I don't freak out at the little stuff like she does. She already gave me an earful of drama before she left on Friday, so I've had my fill for awhile!

Well, I guess I should go pack that bookcase. Or eat dinner. Hmm....which to pick?

Work and other exciting news

I went back to work today. It was thankfully uneventful, but still a wee bit busy. I didn't get a chance to sit as much as I wanted, but hopefully I will tomorrow. We don't have any clinic kids so once I make my rounds, I should be good to sit.

Today, I left work a little bit early and fell asleep almost the instant I sat on the couch. I slept for about an hour and a half, missed 5 phone calls, but woke up rested and feeling better. I really do feel good, I just tire out extremely easily!

SO, for the big news...I'm moving! For those of you who know me well, your next words would probably be "again?" I've actually been at the same place for 2 years now, but am realizing a few things. First of all, gas is ridiculous and I can't afford to live this far away from my job, especially since I'm going to work 5 days a week (when I moved here, I was only working 3 days a week). Second, the road I have to take to work is a toll road. I spend over $80.00 in tolls a month, which is ridiculous! Third, when I moved to this apartment, I was able to miss the traffic going to and from work. Now I am embroiled in it on a daily basis. It takes me 30 minutes to get to work (when it used to take 20!) and normally between 45 min to an hour to get home (again, used to be 20!). I get completely stressed out and frustrated on a daily basis. Considering I already have a stressful job, I don't need to add to it.

SO, I am moving within 5 minutes of my job! This will save me so much time and headache! The rent's higher, but considering the gas/tolls I will save, it won't really make a difference. I will probably actually save money. I'll be able to come home while waiting for a transplant instead of just having to sit at the hospital knowing that Liberty and Oliver are no doubt crossing their little legs and needing to potty. I'm really excited bout this! My move date is the end of August...so keep my stress level in your prayers. I don't really like moving, but am anxiously awaiting a change.

Okay, I'm sleepy. I'm going to bed now. Have a wonderful day tomorrow!

Surviving at home

I've been home since about 9:30 on Monday night. Thank goodness for my own bed! I will say it hasn't been a very fun recovery, but when is surgery recovery fun? :) My biggest complaint is NOT my surgical wounds or my sore abdomen, but has been my jelly like legs! I was in the hospital, not moving around or getting any nutrition for a week before my surgery. All my happy leg muscles atrophied because there was a bigger need for my body to kind of "feed" off itself to get the nutrition it was lacking. Now I am paying the price for that! My pitiful legs are all tingly and don't wish to behave as they should. At least it's taking my mind off the fact that I had abdominal surgery, which is one of the more painful surgeries! :)

I've been spending the week walking around the apartment, carefully attempting to go up and down the stairs to take Liberty outside, and doing my own physical therapy to get my legs back into tip top shape before I have to go back to work. Thankfully, I had already asked for this week off to go to camp, so I am not taking off any unexpected time. It has been so amazing to see how much better I can eat now that the stinky gall bladder is gone! I was so concerned before the surgery that I would have the GB out and it would not be the reason for the constant nausea and vomiting! Thank GOODNESS that was not the case! I have been able to eat exactly what I should be eating after a gastric bypass WITHOUT NAUSEA! Hooray! I've already decided I'm never going to make it during the nauseating 1st trimester of pregnancy...or maybe I'll do really great now that I've endured a month of it!

Liberty has been quite clingy since I got home, which is understandable after not seeing me for 10 days. She always seems to be touching me in some fashion, either curled up next to me or sitting by me. I don't really mind, seeing as one of my mental breakdowns in the hospital involved not having her as a comforting factor next to me.

Anyways, that's pretty much all that's going on here. Eating. Sleeping. Exercising. :)

Updates!

Well, I did have my gall bladder out on Saturday morning. I went in about 8AM, was done around 9:30AM, and finally got out of recovery to my new room around 6PM. Isn't that ridiculous? I had many lovely visitors in the recovery room, in higher volumes than normal because there really were only 2 other people in there! It was so empty! The BEST part of the recovery room (well, except for the morphine pain pump!) was that I had the very same sweet nurse as when I had my bypass surgery in April! I had loved her so much I named my new little stomach i.e. my "pouch" after her. Her name is Betty, and she's Baylor's BEST PACU nurse! I really didn't hurt or feel anything because she was right there, meds in hand, to make me comfortable. She remembered me too!

I spent Saturday night trying to stay pain controlled. Sunday, I was all set to go home when the resident came in and said that my liver function labs were wacky and I needed to stay another day for monitoring. BLECH! SO, I stayed and was bored for another day...very thankful that Tammy was in town to entertain me. I did NOT sleep well last night, for unknown reasons. Today, my labs are still elevated, but they are improved. The resident is ready to send me home, but just has to get clearance from the attending.

I'm on a different floor than I started the week on, but it's been okay. I've had great nurses, great techs and everyone has been really nice,

All in all, with the exception of one mean nurse last week and a bunch of blown IV's, this experience at Baylor has been okay. After the dry heaving stopped, it still wasn't enjoyable, but the nurses made the time go faster. I will certainly recommend this hospital to anyone who asks@

More surgery!

Tomorrow morning, I will be having my gall bladder out. After many tests and procedures, my surgeon thinks this is the best option to rid me of the nausea.

I got a PICC line today, much to my happiness! Now they can draw labs from it, have an absolutely perfect place for IV fluids, and NO MORE STICKS! Hooray! :)

Hopefully, I'll be able to get my gall bladder out, control the nausea, and be home in a few days. I'm sure Liberty misses me, even though she's having a wonderous time with Sam and Max.

Have a wonderful 4th of July!

Minor improvement

Well, the good news is that I am no longer dry heaving! My stomach has decided it would rather no contort every hour or so. I am still extremely nauseated with anything I put in my mouth, but at least it stays down. I've seen a whole army of doctors, each with a theory as to the reason...

1. Surgery-my surgeon said there is "sludge" in my gallbladder. This can sometimes cause people a big enough problem with nausea and it would have to be removed. The thing I LOVE about my surgeon is that he's not anxious to take out right now. He'd rather try other things. I'm also having a lot of dizziness, which could indicate a inner ear infection. I'm on 2 meds for that. I'm also blowing IV sites left and right...not something good for someone who is completely dependent on IV fluids for hydration. I'm supposed to be getting a PICC line tonight or early tomorrow. This will allow me to have an IV that won't go bad and can have blood drawn from it. He also wants to start some "fats" or lipids, to help my energy level.

2. GI-The gastroenterologist thinks I might have some "delayed motility" which basically means my stomach doesn't empty as fast as it should. It wouldn't seem to make sense that I could still be throwing up with absolutely nothing in my stomach, but then again, I swallow spit all day long and that's what is coming up. He started me on a medication that would help my stomach empty faster. Can't tell if it's working or not.

3. Neurology-so starting about Saturday, I started having double vision. THis unnerved my surgeon, so he wanted me to have an MRI and a neurology consult. The neurologist came in today and said that I probably have a kinking of my 4th cranial nerve from all the dry heaving. He said he's seen that a lot and it's the explanation that makes the most sense.

So, all of these explanations are jumbled together and I don't even know what to make of it all anymore. I'm REALLY tired of being in this bed, but I know I wouldn't make at home without being able to drink. So, I'll just slowly work on advancing my food...and one day, I might be able to go home.

I've had lots of wonderful visitors this week and I am SO thankful. It's very VERY disheartening to be in this position, so THANK YOU to all who have come by, those who have called, and those who have prayed for me. I hope I am on the road to healing..

Please pray....

I am miserable. I've been here for three long days with no answers. I keep throwing up and no one seems to have one teensie weensie clue as to what is wrong. I'm getting very VERY disheartened and don't have the energy to fight anymore. I haven't had real food since Thursday.

Please keep me in your prayers.

Back into Baylor again....

Thank goodness for free wireless! It's nice that between the puking and the multitudes of nasty tests my doctor has put me through, I can check my email! :) If you haven't figured it out already, I got re-admitted to the hospital late last night for not being able to stop throwing up. I had to go in through the ER this time, and waited about 10 hours for a bed in the hospital. So far, with the exception of one floor nurse, all my nurses and staff have been wonderful. I'm getting lots of fluid and anti-nausea meds. I've had a abdominal sono and a cat scan, both of which were normal. My doctor has me scheduled for an upper GI tomorrow which will allow them to see how the contrast goes through my GI tract. Hopefully, it will give them some answers as to why I can't eat normally.

I did get the chance (between the puking) to go see Spamalot with Michael and Jennifer yesterday. It was HILARIOUS! I wish I would have felt better so I could have enjoyed it more, but it was still a great show.

So now, I'm tied to a bed here at Baylor, looking fabulous with my hospital gown, capri pant pajama bottoms, anti-blood clot hose, footy socks, and wild hair. I'm quite the sight. I'm hoping my IV stays good so I don't have to get stuck half a billion times like last time.

Thanks for checking in. I have my cell if you want to contact me while I'm here.

Hooray for deals!

I just found 3 pairs of capri pants at Walmart for $9 each! Fabulous! That will absolutely help my need to have camp clothes. Now, I just need to find some shirts...

Wow! Was last week CRAZY or what? Work seemed to explode with more and more kids needing to be evaluated for transplant, kids having complications, but ironically (and kinda thankfully), no one was transplanted! It was BUSY! I was so happy to have Friday come around and have the weekend start! Shockingly, it's been a relatively quiet weekend, although that can change at the drop of a hat.

I've felt pretty good this weekend. I've gotten all my liquids in, and have even eaten more than one meal a day! I win! I'm still working SO hard on eating the things that I know my body wants...like protein. I'm having to get over some humps that I had right before my stricture. I got REALLY burned out on lunch meat and cheese, even though those are great protein sources. I need to get back to where I want to eat those things because right now, the thought of them makes me dry heave. It's completely psychological, so any suggestions on how to overcome that would be helpful!

In two weeks, I'll be going to camp! Oh yes, you DID read that right! I'm going to be a camp nurse at my church's brand new camp in Hawkins. I'm so excited! I'm a tad nervous at the thought of being outside and having to maintain REALLY good hydration, but I'm hoping by that point, I'll be fine! :) It should be so much fun...and now I just need to get prepared! I don't really have any clothes that fit, and that might just be a good thing to have. I'll have to go to Goodwill because I do NOT want to go buying new clothes for a week and then I'll be shrinking on out of them. Thankfully, the nurse's station does have a washer/dryer, so perhaps I'll be able to recycle some of my clothes and not have to find so many!

Life just does not get any more exciting than that...or at least I hope not! I need some calm! :)

Advancing slowly

My diet of choice this week has been the good, old, reliable clear liquid. I learned about 24 hours after my stricture dilation that clears were about the only thing my sensitive stomach was going to handle right then. I've mostly kept to that and have only really ventured out in my choices the last few days.

I have discovered that my nausea/vomiting really only likes to come in the morning. It's like I'm pregnant. I've learned to take nausea medication when I get up, and about 75% of the time, I can ward off the episodes. Some days, I'm not so lucky. If you see me in the morning and I look a little off, it's probably one of those bad mornings!

Other than the puking, I'm doing pretty well. I'm trying to get back to the part of my diet where I can eat the majority of my protein in food. I go back to the doctor in 2 weeks...hopefully by then I will have accomplished something! My energy levels are good, but usually not until the afternoons! I've lost a total of 53lbs in my 8 weeks, which I think is pretty good. I'm hoping that this isn't too fast. I don't want to waste away faster than I should. That doesn't seem healthy at all!

I am STILL off call, which thrills me to no end. I don't go back on call until this weekend, when I go on with my favorite surgeon who won't wake me up with every single offer. I actually don't have any plans this weekend, which usually means I'll be stuck transplanting in the OR. That's usually how it goes. And with SEVEN kids waiting, it's only a matter of time.

Liberty and Oliver have been so funny the last few days! Yesterday, I spilled some dog food in the laundry basket while I was refilling the food containers. The dogs found it necessary to drag the laundry basket across the room, almost removing a shirt through the holes. They were determined to get those four pieces out! Crazies.

Well, it's getting late and I do have to be up in the morning...blast it all. I have NEVER been a snooze girl and I'm getting SO bad about it. My snooze is only three minutes...so is it really worth it? Most likely no.

My breaking point

This past week has been absolutely draining to me. I have had no energy, looked white as a sheet, and haven't been able to eat or drink very much at all. It's been miserable. I pushed through because I knew I had to be at work, being the only coordinator in town. I had a brand new transplant, a funeral to attend, and all the run of the mill work things to accomplish....which would normally not be a big deal! I was never so happy to see Friday come when I went off call!

Friday, I went to the doctor for my 6 week check up. The PA (NOT my surgeon) checked me out, figured I was low in some vitamin level, and sent me to get labs drawn. I was convinced I was anemic, so I asked when the levels would be back...oh don't worry..."We'll call you around Tuesday with your levels and tell you what to do!" I was infuriated. I was going to get to spend the entire weekend feeling like GARBAGE. I even think I said that to her. She gave me a shot of B12 and sent me on my way. At the lab, they drew almost TWO ounces of blood (hey, if I wasn't anemic before, I sure would be after!). Around this time, my friend Kris called me and asked me how the doctor's visit went. I pretty much unloaded on her every angry feeling about the experience. She was equally shocked that pretty much nothing had been done. I went home, slept, and hoped I would feel better the next day. Well, not so much as it turned out. Then the puking began....and I had nothing in my stomach to puke. I went shopping with Whitney and Eli...and then things just started getting worse pretty fast. I finally broke down and called my surgeon. He was concerned and told me he wanted me to go be admitted at the hospital for severe dehydration and what he thought was a stricture. In the world of gastric bypass, a stricture is swelling where the stomach pouch meets the small intestine.

I ended up getting admitted, getting almost no sleep that night, and had IV's started for hydration. I got about 3 liters before I actually used the bathroom...which is VERY scary! :) Sunday, my poor sad dehydrated veins were blowing fast so I kept getting poked....for a total of 12 times. ICK. When my surgeon visited me on Sunday, he told me I needed a endoscopy and a balloon dilation of that stoma. Thankfully, this does not "ruin" my surgery. It happens in about 4% of gastric bypass patients. Of course, I would have to be in that small percentage. Today, I was taken for endoscopy where it was discovered that I did have a stricture. It was dilated and my world became a new and wonderful place again! I'm still weak fom the week of not eating, but I'm feeling better every hour that goes by. I was discharged this evening and am now happily at home. Of course, I look like I've been doing drugs with all my multiple IV bruises...but oh well.

Thank you to ALL those who came to visit me, brought me flowers, sent me sweet and encouraging text messages, and kept me in your prayers. I'm hoping that in the next few days, I'll be back to happy and correct eating. I'll probably go back work on Wednesday...energized and not looking like death!

The way it always goes!

It would just figure that the day I would go back on call, I'd be transplanting all night long. Ah well, as long as the babies get hearts, I'm okay with that. I think the last transplant we did, I had just come on that same day as well! How weird! :) It was my first transplant since my surgery, and it was SO hard to stay hydrated! Thankfully, the OR nurse is pregnant and she needed to keep drinking too...so she helped me remember! Every 15 minutes or so, I'd sneak off to side room to take a drink.

The rest of the weekend was spent catching up on sleep and general lounging around. At one point in my sleepy haze on Saturday, I started some laundry...which turned out to be an entire weekend project (even though it was only one load!). Oliver took advantage of my sleeping time by shredding toys and popsicle sticks all over the floor. I believe Liberty just slept next to me during his run of destruction, but I can't be sure.

Today, I got some horrible news...one of my very closest friends' mom passed away last night. Please keep Amanda and her family in your prayers. Amanda's mom was a believer, so I absolutely know she's in a better place right now. My friends are I are way too young to be losing parents.

On a more joyful note, today is my parents 35th wedding anniversary. WOW! I am so blessed to be born to parents who picked right the first time and stuck it out for all of these years. They have produced three normal (well, I guess you could say semi-normal) children, all of whom have college educations, good jobs, and morals. Six puppies call them grandma and grandpa. They've set a wonderful example of what marriage should be.

Well, sleep should be calling soon....and hopefully not any heart offers! :)

WOWSERS.

Eleven pounds. Nine days. I would no longer qualify for weight loss surgery. Enough said.

Sniff, blow, hack.

Arg. I can't tell if I have allergies and sinus pressure or a cold. Either one is uncomfortable. This was NOT how today was supposed to go. I have today off of work to spend with my friends. Instead, I am alternating tylenol cold and tylenol allergy sinus, hopefully to catch whichever disease process I am fighting. I'm drinking lots of water to flush out the nasties, but can't really tell if that's helping or not.

I hate it...whichever one it is.

It's WAY too hot!

I wish that it wasn't a blazing inferno in May. I realize we've been spared from the horrid temperatures for a year or so. Last summer was not bad at all...but this spring/summer is already torture. Why, oh WHY does it have to be hitting almost 100 with 100% humidity? It's just RUDE!

I learned yesterday that my 4 week post op self can NOT handle the heat. Let's just say fainting episodes were involved. NOT fun.

Yesterday, we had the 20th anniversary Children's heart transplant picnic. It was SO much fun! We had a bounce house, a DJ, TONS of food, and probably about 250 people! It was at a really beautiful park with a huge wooden play area for the kids, and a pavilion for all us weenies who need shade. I was there about 5 hours and stayed in the shade probably 4.75 of those hours...and still got sick. I even drank water all day long! So frustrating. Other than my episode, which thankfully occurred near the end when most of the people had gone, I had a wonderful time! I got to play with my kiddos in an atmosphere that isn't the hospital. I got led around by a 3 year old who was screetching "Miss Stephanie! Let's go BOUNCE!!!" and "Miss Stephanie! We need to color on the ground!". So fun! I have so many great families who were able to come! It was a great party! We were even on the news!

After the party, Michael, Jen, and I (plus all our pups) went to my grandma's in Fort Worth to eat dinner with her and my parents. It was nice to be in an air conditioned house! I was supposed to go to Scarborough Faire with Michael and Jennifer today, but the heat was not going to permit that. Liberty and I will busy ourselves with cleaning the house instead. Tonight, I'm going to dinner with friends...so that will be tons of fun!

I don't go back to work until Wednesday, so I'll have to postpone my weigh in until then. Hooray for time off!