God has blessed me with the ultimate amazing life. I have a job in which I get to tell people "HEY, we HAVE a new life for your child!". I also have a personal life where I have a man who wants nothing more than to make me happy. I am extremely blessed.
Life is a whirlwind at this point. My job is completely crazy...doing NINE transplants in FIVE months is a bit ridiculous. But I am coping. The fact that I have been on call for less of the transplants is FABULOUS! Of course, more than half of the kids are "mine", but that is ok. I can deal with the after effects of these transplants. I am just SO lucky that my babies are getting new starts at life.
In my personal life, I am so completely in LOVE. Well, not IN love, but I love a most fabulous man. He is not what I ever would have expected to fall for, but only GOD knows what is best for me. And I have found HIM. The one. But that's just between you and me. Although I know that "you" is multiple people....including my parents! So that's my statement of faith...that I have found the man I am supposed to be with. I must be completely crazy.
So, what else is going on? Not much. I am moving from my beautiful commute of 2 minutes to 25+ minutes of commute to be closer to someone I love. I am apartment searching in the mid-cities area (predominately the HEB area) because I feel I need to make a change in price for my apartment. I guess that's what we do for LOVE! :)
Work is WORK. It's nothing fabulous, but I do get to spend fabulous hours with children that change lives. I am extremely blessed. I realize this. And for this, I am thankful.
So, to the God who is INFINITELY able to do more than I ask or could even possibly imagine, I am thankful. For more than life itself.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Did I really do that?
When I was rolled back to the operating room on April 21, 2008, I knew that my life was going to drastically change. In my pre operative meetings with my surgeon, he presented both surgical options. After my extensive research, I was already leaning towards the gastric bypass to give myself some physical consequences for poor eating choices. He told me that patients typically lose up to 75% of their excess body weight. He thought that with my determined spirit and desire to succeed, I would do even better than that.
The year hasn't been a walk in the park as far as my body is concerned. Two additional hospitalizations, one gall bladder gone, two endoscopies...none of these things were planned. 6 weeks of throwing up 5 times a day wasn't planned. Five months of trying to get recovered from all that fiasco wasn't in my thought processes when I was rolled into that operating room.
My life has drastically changed. If someone had asked me 9 months ago if I would do this surgery again, I would have no doubt laughed in their face and said not in a MILLION years! If you asked me now? I would wholeheartedly say absolutely YES without a minute of hesitation. Why? Because even through all the crap, I feel amazing. I'm told I look amazing. I go up flights of stairs without getting tired. My asthma hasn't been near the issues this winter. I can go into a store, pull a medium off the shelf and not try it on because I know it will fit. I don't have to use the "big girl" excuse of "Well, sizes just run small in this store". It's pretty amazing.
SO. Seven incisions=lots of pain! Three hospital visits=no fun. Weeks and weeks of throwing up=absolutely time to forget that. Losing 143lbs=PRICELESS! Hooray!
The year hasn't been a walk in the park as far as my body is concerned. Two additional hospitalizations, one gall bladder gone, two endoscopies...none of these things were planned. 6 weeks of throwing up 5 times a day wasn't planned. Five months of trying to get recovered from all that fiasco wasn't in my thought processes when I was rolled into that operating room.
My life has drastically changed. If someone had asked me 9 months ago if I would do this surgery again, I would have no doubt laughed in their face and said not in a MILLION years! If you asked me now? I would wholeheartedly say absolutely YES without a minute of hesitation. Why? Because even through all the crap, I feel amazing. I'm told I look amazing. I go up flights of stairs without getting tired. My asthma hasn't been near the issues this winter. I can go into a store, pull a medium off the shelf and not try it on because I know it will fit. I don't have to use the "big girl" excuse of "Well, sizes just run small in this store". It's pretty amazing.
SO. Seven incisions=lots of pain! Three hospital visits=no fun. Weeks and weeks of throwing up=absolutely time to forget that. Losing 143lbs=PRICELESS! Hooray!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Early morning rising.
I am absolutely not a morning person, by any sort of stretch of anyone's imagination. I am not typically nasty, but I don't bound out of bed with a great big smile on my face and a raging excitement to start the day. You can imagine how excited it would make me to get up at 4:30AM, get ready for the day, trek off to work, only to find out 20 minutes after I get here that the transplant supposed to start at 6AM is now starting at 7:30AM. ARG! The oh-so-inept procurement coordinator (the person who takes care of the donor) told me happily "Now you can just go back to bed for a little bit!" No. Not really. I'm not going home (even though home is very close!) to re-anger the dogs, settle them down, get back into my bed for what will be a fitful sleep and no doubt make me even more crabby than I already have the potential to be.
So here I sit in my office, Dasani in hand, jamming happily to my iPod, which is currently playing Phil Collins. Ah yes, it's a thrilling life I lead! I am sad because today I was supposed to be going to the Main Street Arts Festival in downtown Fort Worth with Jennifer, and now I'm not going to be able to go. Seeing as I have had all of about 30 minutes of sleep in the last 24 hours, I don't think I'll be that fun. I don't even know at what point I'll get out of here or be coherant enough for conversation, let alone driving to Fort Worth. So I get to miss that. But a sweet baby girl gets a new heart...so I guess things could be a lot worse.
This week is going to be CRAZY! I am only working Monday through Thursday and then off Friday for VACATION! I'll probably leave early a few days to make up for this epic adventure I've been on in the last 18 hours. I first found out about this transplant at 11AM yesterday, but we didn't get the official call until almost 8PM. Needless to say, it's been stalking me!
Friday will be spent in the normal pre vacation mode...wildly packing and re-packing, the much needed pedicure (complete with neon vacation colors...I'm thinking hot pink!), and general pacing about until I can finally leave for the airport. The flight doesn't leave until 8PM, so there's lots of nervous pacing until I am safely on that plane and headed for vacation wonderland. Our fabulous hotel (it's at the airport, it almost HAS to be "fabulous"!) has a shuttle who will pick us up at any hour at the airport and take us back for a few hours of sleep. I'll no doubt spring out of bed nice and early on Saturday, completely excited to start our cruising fun. It's nice being a returning cruiser because now I have a basic knowledge of what's smart to do. For example, it's really REALLY smart to pack pajamas and a swimsuit in your carry on. Your luggage may not get there until 10PM, even after the boat has already sailed, and you may really REALLY want to put on pajamas and crawl into bed to start the fun times of free room service! We also got smart this time and booked the later dinner time slot...which will hopefully ensure that we won't miss every sail away from the islands or more importantly, the sunsets!
As far as what's been going on in my neck of the woods, it pretty much can be broken down into a few things. I've been working hard, but not harder than I have to. I'm doing my absolute best and am still striving to be the best coordinator I can be. I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do when my lease is up in August. Yep, probably move...how'd you guess? :) I'm loving spending every moment I can with Jason, figuring out where we're going in our relationship and introducing him to as much of my nutty family as is possible. I'm still reeling in shock that my surgery was a year ago on Tuesday. See? Not much going on here!
I won't post again until after vacation, unless I decide to do a homage to Betty on Tuesday, which still could happen but will absolutely depend on how crazy the days get here. I'll leave you with a lovely reminder of where I'll be spending next week...Bon Voyage!
So here I sit in my office, Dasani in hand, jamming happily to my iPod, which is currently playing Phil Collins. Ah yes, it's a thrilling life I lead! I am sad because today I was supposed to be going to the Main Street Arts Festival in downtown Fort Worth with Jennifer, and now I'm not going to be able to go. Seeing as I have had all of about 30 minutes of sleep in the last 24 hours, I don't think I'll be that fun. I don't even know at what point I'll get out of here or be coherant enough for conversation, let alone driving to Fort Worth. So I get to miss that. But a sweet baby girl gets a new heart...so I guess things could be a lot worse.
This week is going to be CRAZY! I am only working Monday through Thursday and then off Friday for VACATION! I'll probably leave early a few days to make up for this epic adventure I've been on in the last 18 hours. I first found out about this transplant at 11AM yesterday, but we didn't get the official call until almost 8PM. Needless to say, it's been stalking me!
Friday will be spent in the normal pre vacation mode...wildly packing and re-packing, the much needed pedicure (complete with neon vacation colors...I'm thinking hot pink!), and general pacing about until I can finally leave for the airport. The flight doesn't leave until 8PM, so there's lots of nervous pacing until I am safely on that plane and headed for vacation wonderland. Our fabulous hotel (it's at the airport, it almost HAS to be "fabulous"!) has a shuttle who will pick us up at any hour at the airport and take us back for a few hours of sleep. I'll no doubt spring out of bed nice and early on Saturday, completely excited to start our cruising fun. It's nice being a returning cruiser because now I have a basic knowledge of what's smart to do. For example, it's really REALLY smart to pack pajamas and a swimsuit in your carry on. Your luggage may not get there until 10PM, even after the boat has already sailed, and you may really REALLY want to put on pajamas and crawl into bed to start the fun times of free room service! We also got smart this time and booked the later dinner time slot...which will hopefully ensure that we won't miss every sail away from the islands or more importantly, the sunsets!
As far as what's been going on in my neck of the woods, it pretty much can be broken down into a few things. I've been working hard, but not harder than I have to. I'm doing my absolute best and am still striving to be the best coordinator I can be. I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do when my lease is up in August. Yep, probably move...how'd you guess? :) I'm loving spending every moment I can with Jason, figuring out where we're going in our relationship and introducing him to as much of my nutty family as is possible. I'm still reeling in shock that my surgery was a year ago on Tuesday. See? Not much going on here!
I won't post again until after vacation, unless I decide to do a homage to Betty on Tuesday, which still could happen but will absolutely depend on how crazy the days get here. I'll leave you with a lovely reminder of where I'll be spending next week...Bon Voyage!
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Drama
As much as I would like to say my life is full of drama, I am constantly reminded that so many other people have it far worse than I.
I don't have a child in a PICU who has uncontrollable SVT. Meet Stellan.
I don't have a child who even in utero, is destined to fail, but by God's grace, is continuing to live. Meet April.
I don't have a child without an acceptable diagnosis who continues to have bizarre symptoms that don't seem to have a cause. Meet Keegan.
I don't have a child who continually tries to reject her transplanted organ and who consistantly tries to make her world a better place. Meet Ashley.
I sit here in awe of families who are consistantly broken over and over by the "drama" that overwhelmes, but does not break them. I sit and stress about a co-worker who angers me.
Sometimes, my life is so trivial in the grand scheme of things.
Yet, I have a job where I get to announce NEW LIFE to families. "We have a heart for your child" and "Your child's new heart is beating" are the two most favorite things I ever get to say.
But in my normal life, I have no stress even comparable to these people. I sit and wonder why I stress about what someone says or does when someone else is at their literal breaking point.
I need some perspective.
Thank goodness for a Savior who loves ALL of us. We are all important in HIS eyes.
I am humbled that HE thinks of me just as much as a family in true crisis. Everyone is equal in His eyes. And for that, I am thankful.
I don't have a child in a PICU who has uncontrollable SVT. Meet Stellan.
I don't have a child who even in utero, is destined to fail, but by God's grace, is continuing to live. Meet April.
I don't have a child without an acceptable diagnosis who continues to have bizarre symptoms that don't seem to have a cause. Meet Keegan.
I don't have a child who continually tries to reject her transplanted organ and who consistantly tries to make her world a better place. Meet Ashley.
I sit here in awe of families who are consistantly broken over and over by the "drama" that overwhelmes, but does not break them. I sit and stress about a co-worker who angers me.
Sometimes, my life is so trivial in the grand scheme of things.
Yet, I have a job where I get to announce NEW LIFE to families. "We have a heart for your child" and "Your child's new heart is beating" are the two most favorite things I ever get to say.
But in my normal life, I have no stress even comparable to these people. I sit and wonder why I stress about what someone says or does when someone else is at their literal breaking point.
I need some perspective.
Thank goodness for a Savior who loves ALL of us. We are all important in HIS eyes.
I am humbled that HE thinks of me just as much as a family in true crisis. Everyone is equal in His eyes. And for that, I am thankful.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Now THIS is spring!
The last few days have been absolutely BEAUTIFUL! I can't get over how sunny and warm (but not HOT!) it has been around here! I love it! It's been sitting mid 70's with no clouds and just a very light breeze. The back door has been open most of the time I've been home and the puppies have been soaking up every second of outside time.
I've been battling some sort of disgusting spring infection. It started out as strep throat (I didn't even know adults could still get that!) and gradually turned into some horrifying bronchitis. I'm on my second round of antibiotics, but I'm feeling so much better by the day. I need to keep my sleep caught up and then I'll really feel better! I'm still coughing and hacking, but I'm on the road to recovery. I'm guessing that simple penicillin antibiotics just aren't gonna cut it anymore...I'll have to move straight up to the good ones!
I need to get better quickly because I got drafted to be a camp nurse at transplant camp next weekend! It goes from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon. My friend (and transplant doctor!) Lisa and I were drafted and I'm excited about it! I've been to the camp facility before during heart camp, but have never had the opportunity to stay there. It should be an interesting experience....30 teenagers and the outdoors! Hopefully there will be no large insects, reptiles, or rodents lurking about.
My cruise leaves five weeks from tomorrow! HOORAY! I am so SO excited! It's getting really close to time to buy plane tickets and shore excursions. I think that's when it really seems to feel real! I'm still attempting to find cruise/summer clothes. I think that's probably the most frustrating thing of all! I got some great sundresses last weekend at Old Navy. They were a nice surprise!
I keep squirting Liberty and Oliver with water when they fall asleep. Both of them were absolute beasts while I was trying to sleep last night! Oliver kept jumping in and out of bed. Liberty kept barking. Neither of these things equals good sleep! I figure, if they sleep this afternoon, they may not want to sleep tonight. This will NOT be acceptable. Needless to say, they are not happy with me the moment. Hey, people need SLEEP! They can get over it! :)
Me and my crockpot are having all kinds of adventures together. Tonight, I have created some sort of pork tenderloin wonderland. I mixed in barbeque sauce (no sugar added! Hooray!), onion soup mix, and some water and threw in a piece of pork. It's been cooking happily for quite some time. I bought my crock pot to transport queso for a superbowl party and we've been inseparable ever since! I'm turning domestic! Scared yet? :) I've also developed an addiction to doing laundry! Perhaps I've been overtaken by some sort of alien being! I guess you can't watch as much Food Network as I do without it rubbing off at some point.
I am on call this weekend, but hopefully I won't be getting as many phone calls as I did last weekend! Only one more week on and then two weeks off! Hooray!
I've been battling some sort of disgusting spring infection. It started out as strep throat (I didn't even know adults could still get that!) and gradually turned into some horrifying bronchitis. I'm on my second round of antibiotics, but I'm feeling so much better by the day. I need to keep my sleep caught up and then I'll really feel better! I'm still coughing and hacking, but I'm on the road to recovery. I'm guessing that simple penicillin antibiotics just aren't gonna cut it anymore...I'll have to move straight up to the good ones!
I need to get better quickly because I got drafted to be a camp nurse at transplant camp next weekend! It goes from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon. My friend (and transplant doctor!) Lisa and I were drafted and I'm excited about it! I've been to the camp facility before during heart camp, but have never had the opportunity to stay there. It should be an interesting experience....30 teenagers and the outdoors! Hopefully there will be no large insects, reptiles, or rodents lurking about.
My cruise leaves five weeks from tomorrow! HOORAY! I am so SO excited! It's getting really close to time to buy plane tickets and shore excursions. I think that's when it really seems to feel real! I'm still attempting to find cruise/summer clothes. I think that's probably the most frustrating thing of all! I got some great sundresses last weekend at Old Navy. They were a nice surprise!
I keep squirting Liberty and Oliver with water when they fall asleep. Both of them were absolute beasts while I was trying to sleep last night! Oliver kept jumping in and out of bed. Liberty kept barking. Neither of these things equals good sleep! I figure, if they sleep this afternoon, they may not want to sleep tonight. This will NOT be acceptable. Needless to say, they are not happy with me the moment. Hey, people need SLEEP! They can get over it! :)
Me and my crockpot are having all kinds of adventures together. Tonight, I have created some sort of pork tenderloin wonderland. I mixed in barbeque sauce (no sugar added! Hooray!), onion soup mix, and some water and threw in a piece of pork. It's been cooking happily for quite some time. I bought my crock pot to transport queso for a superbowl party and we've been inseparable ever since! I'm turning domestic! Scared yet? :) I've also developed an addiction to doing laundry! Perhaps I've been overtaken by some sort of alien being! I guess you can't watch as much Food Network as I do without it rubbing off at some point.
I am on call this weekend, but hopefully I won't be getting as many phone calls as I did last weekend! Only one more week on and then two weeks off! Hooray!
Friday, March 06, 2009
Yep, I'm a slacker!
Good heavens, this blog has been neglected! I just realized that I'm completely obsessed with checking other blogs, but it has somehow escaped me that people might want to know what's going on in MY life. Perhaps I'm wrong. I still see people coming to my blog, but maybe they are just using my blog as a jumping off point for visiting others!
Where do I even begin? I guess I can start with work. It's been BUSY! We've been transplanting like CRAZY and we've been seeing a TON of kids! That's good in one respect, but doesn't help my sanity level! I've had some really bad patient experiences the last month or so, so I'm working very hard on seeing the good in my job. I know God has me there for a reason, and it's taking every ounce of me some weeks to determine what that is. Perhaps it's just to teach me to be better in control of my emotions as they relate to patients? Who even knows. I get very involved in the care of these sweet babies, so it really affects me when bad things happen. I've been thinking a lot lately about justice and its place in my job. I've got sweet angels who are dancing with Jesus that took their meds every day of their lives....and bratty teenagers who refuse to take their meds and keep on ticking. Why DO bad things happen to good people? I'm working through this very question and am open to any/all suggestions on books to read or thoughts on the subject.
As far as non work stuff goes, there's a lot going on there too! I'm planning to go on a cruise in April, which I think I've mentioned before. I think there's 49 days to go now! I NEED this vacation and I can't even imagine how fabulous it's going to be! The differences since my last cruise will be most evident in the quantity of food I can consume, but that's okay. I can at least order the pretty food and just bask in its beauty! I went to a drug representative dinner last night and they kept begging me to order dessert! I kept saying, um, no thank you! Finally, I just gave in and ordered the "Death by Chocolate" cake, then promptly handed it off to one of the other people I was there with. It felt weird to be ordering sugar! At least on the cruise, I can order cheese or fruit for dessert and hopefully will not be judged by those around me! If so, who cares! :) I'll get lots of exercise roaming around Caribbean islands and snorkeling to my heart's content! I almost wish I could go back to the island where I almost died from all the hiking just to see how much better I could do!
My weight loss still continues to shock the snot out of me. A day doesn't go by when someone says "Are you done YET?". To answer all these questions, NO. I am not done. I will be done when I say I'm done. And that time hasnt' come yet. I think I've finally settled on a goal weight, but I still need to meet with my dietitian to see if that's a reasonable goal and how I stay there once I'm there. I really don't have that much farther to go. My next goal is to become more active. I've sworn off the elevator at my apartment complex, and I am starting to swear off it at work too. I need to actually get onto the elliptical machine at the gym...that is my next goal, I think. My endurance is SO much better since my jelly legs have basically gone away!
I've also got a new relationship that's making me pretty darn happy. I've endured a lot of garbage over the last couple of years, either the other person wasn't ready...or I wasn't ready...not meant to be the right person at the right time. I'm beginning to think I'm finally at that ready stage, both emotionally and spiritually. It's a nice place to be in. Just when I had all but given up, an amazing guy found me! We're having a great time and I'm just trying to understand it all. It's nice to be in a relationship that I don't have those typical girl panics in....will he call? Did I just make a fool of myself? What does he really think? We'll see where this is going, but right now, I'm exceptionally content.
Okay, I've been typing this for a really REALLY long time now. I hope your weekend is warm and happy...I know mine will be!
Where do I even begin? I guess I can start with work. It's been BUSY! We've been transplanting like CRAZY and we've been seeing a TON of kids! That's good in one respect, but doesn't help my sanity level! I've had some really bad patient experiences the last month or so, so I'm working very hard on seeing the good in my job. I know God has me there for a reason, and it's taking every ounce of me some weeks to determine what that is. Perhaps it's just to teach me to be better in control of my emotions as they relate to patients? Who even knows. I get very involved in the care of these sweet babies, so it really affects me when bad things happen. I've been thinking a lot lately about justice and its place in my job. I've got sweet angels who are dancing with Jesus that took their meds every day of their lives....and bratty teenagers who refuse to take their meds and keep on ticking. Why DO bad things happen to good people? I'm working through this very question and am open to any/all suggestions on books to read or thoughts on the subject.
As far as non work stuff goes, there's a lot going on there too! I'm planning to go on a cruise in April, which I think I've mentioned before. I think there's 49 days to go now! I NEED this vacation and I can't even imagine how fabulous it's going to be! The differences since my last cruise will be most evident in the quantity of food I can consume, but that's okay. I can at least order the pretty food and just bask in its beauty! I went to a drug representative dinner last night and they kept begging me to order dessert! I kept saying, um, no thank you! Finally, I just gave in and ordered the "Death by Chocolate" cake, then promptly handed it off to one of the other people I was there with. It felt weird to be ordering sugar! At least on the cruise, I can order cheese or fruit for dessert and hopefully will not be judged by those around me! If so, who cares! :) I'll get lots of exercise roaming around Caribbean islands and snorkeling to my heart's content! I almost wish I could go back to the island where I almost died from all the hiking just to see how much better I could do!
My weight loss still continues to shock the snot out of me. A day doesn't go by when someone says "Are you done YET?". To answer all these questions, NO. I am not done. I will be done when I say I'm done. And that time hasnt' come yet. I think I've finally settled on a goal weight, but I still need to meet with my dietitian to see if that's a reasonable goal and how I stay there once I'm there. I really don't have that much farther to go. My next goal is to become more active. I've sworn off the elevator at my apartment complex, and I am starting to swear off it at work too. I need to actually get onto the elliptical machine at the gym...that is my next goal, I think. My endurance is SO much better since my jelly legs have basically gone away!
I've also got a new relationship that's making me pretty darn happy. I've endured a lot of garbage over the last couple of years, either the other person wasn't ready...or I wasn't ready...not meant to be the right person at the right time. I'm beginning to think I'm finally at that ready stage, both emotionally and spiritually. It's a nice place to be in. Just when I had all but given up, an amazing guy found me! We're having a great time and I'm just trying to understand it all. It's nice to be in a relationship that I don't have those typical girl panics in....will he call? Did I just make a fool of myself? What does he really think? We'll see where this is going, but right now, I'm exceptionally content.
Okay, I've been typing this for a really REALLY long time now. I hope your weekend is warm and happy...I know mine will be!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Another Honduras blog
PLEASE keep my friends in your prayers! Here's a blog from another friend who is down in Honduras helping save the lives of children with heart defects!
http://shakethetreeoflife.blogspot.com/
http://shakethetreeoflife.blogspot.com/
Friday, February 13, 2009
Healing Hearts in Honduras
Many of you know I had the fabulous opportunity to go to Honduras last year on a cardiac surgery mission trip. I didn't have the chance to go this year, but they leave tomorrow morning, bright and early. Please keep them in your prayers...I have many wonderful friends on this trip!
You can follow their progress at http://trenasue.blogspot.com
You can follow their progress at http://trenasue.blogspot.com
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Movies and shopping!
Only in Texas can we go from an ice storm that shuts down the entire city to the next weekend which is beautiful, sunny, and in the 70's. I live in such a freaky state!
This week has been an extremely odd one. At work, it's been crazy and slow, all at the same time. I've had a lot going on, but it all seems to be over and done by 1:30PM to where I'm having to search for things to do! Let's just say I worked on a project for a doctor, cleaned my office, sent off a bazillion emails that meant nothing, and spent lots of extra time with my patients...and I was still leaving by 3 every day! That's the beauty and torture of being a salaried employee. Weeks like last week make me so HAPPY I don't have to clock in and out! Weeks where I'm doing transplants all hours of the night and admitting and discharging EVERYONE, I'd love to be able to clock in and record every single minute! It's the best of both worlds, I guess. Most of the time, I'd just like my co-worker to have to clock in so my boss can see what a colossal time waster she is!
Yesterday, I went to the movies with Jen and our friend Leah. We saw "He's just not that into you"....which is a brilliantly written movie. I'm serious, it's freakishly accurate! For those of you who have been married for awhile...or in a relationship forever...this is a completely eye opening view of singlehood. Almost every time the main character made some ridiculous relationship choice, I was thinking back to a guy that I have done the VERY SAME thing on! Guess I'm not as much of a dating retard as I thought, apparently everyone has the same retardation! I think the most blinding part of the movie was to realize how much blame we as women take on ourselves for crap that's not even our fault. One of the characters is married and her husband cheats on her. She attempts to justify it by saying "Well, I changed or I wasn't available". What CRAP is that? Yes, absolutely. Your un-availability made your husband go strip off his clothes and be with another woman. I think we need to realize that every situation is NOT our fault. No wonder we're relationship retarded.
I also bought a fabulous new dress yesterday! While I was waiting to go meet Jen at the movies, I stopped at Macy's to sniff around. I have a gift card I received for Christmas and haven't spent it yet...so I needed some excitement. I wound up finding this dress and it was even less expensive than I thought it was! What a delight! It's black and fabulous...I'll probably wear it for the cruise or maybe just around the house when I want to be fancy. There's no telling. It's completely a dress that I wouldn't have chosen, but once I put it on, I didn't want to take it off! Isn't it nice when clothes make you feel that way? Much better than just treating them as a reason not to go outside naked!
I have no idea what this week looks like. I'm sure it's gonna be crazy and disasterous. Oh well...I guess it's about time after the slow week!
This week has been an extremely odd one. At work, it's been crazy and slow, all at the same time. I've had a lot going on, but it all seems to be over and done by 1:30PM to where I'm having to search for things to do! Let's just say I worked on a project for a doctor, cleaned my office, sent off a bazillion emails that meant nothing, and spent lots of extra time with my patients...and I was still leaving by 3 every day! That's the beauty and torture of being a salaried employee. Weeks like last week make me so HAPPY I don't have to clock in and out! Weeks where I'm doing transplants all hours of the night and admitting and discharging EVERYONE, I'd love to be able to clock in and record every single minute! It's the best of both worlds, I guess. Most of the time, I'd just like my co-worker to have to clock in so my boss can see what a colossal time waster she is!
Yesterday, I went to the movies with Jen and our friend Leah. We saw "He's just not that into you"....which is a brilliantly written movie. I'm serious, it's freakishly accurate! For those of you who have been married for awhile...or in a relationship forever...this is a completely eye opening view of singlehood. Almost every time the main character made some ridiculous relationship choice, I was thinking back to a guy that I have done the VERY SAME thing on! Guess I'm not as much of a dating retard as I thought, apparently everyone has the same retardation! I think the most blinding part of the movie was to realize how much blame we as women take on ourselves for crap that's not even our fault. One of the characters is married and her husband cheats on her. She attempts to justify it by saying "Well, I changed or I wasn't available". What CRAP is that? Yes, absolutely. Your un-availability made your husband go strip off his clothes and be with another woman. I think we need to realize that every situation is NOT our fault. No wonder we're relationship retarded.
I also bought a fabulous new dress yesterday! While I was waiting to go meet Jen at the movies, I stopped at Macy's to sniff around. I have a gift card I received for Christmas and haven't spent it yet...so I needed some excitement. I wound up finding this dress and it was even less expensive than I thought it was! What a delight! It's black and fabulous...I'll probably wear it for the cruise or maybe just around the house when I want to be fancy. There's no telling. It's completely a dress that I wouldn't have chosen, but once I put it on, I didn't want to take it off! Isn't it nice when clothes make you feel that way? Much better than just treating them as a reason not to go outside naked!
I have no idea what this week looks like. I'm sure it's gonna be crazy and disasterous. Oh well...I guess it's about time after the slow week!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Frigid!
Texas weather is weird. There's just nothing else that can describe it. Only in my great state would it be 80 degrees last Friday and in the 40's on Saturday. Today, it's raining and cold with a current temperature of 30 degrees. It's only supposed to get colder as the night progresses which will no doubt lead to fun and games involving ice later on!
I was asked to leave work today around 2pm, which I gladly did. I made a pit stop at the grocery store and have since returned home to stay warm. I still have to take Liberty out this evening, but I'm putting that off because I don't want to go out in the cold. Besides, I'm already wearing my Tinker Bell pajamas and no one but me should have to see those! Liberty has also expressed that she would like to stay curled up in the wee ball next to my leg. Most of the time, she doesn't get her way, but I believe she will right now.
This week has been freakishly slow at work. I'm not quite sure why, but it just seems that way. Maybe it's the weather. Who knows!
I go on my cruise in 87 days. This disturbs me because I'm quickly realizing how few clothes I own that will work! I'm slowly buying shirts, but pant sizes are still changing monthly and I don't know what size to buy EVER! It's completely unnerving. I've finally crossed the boundary into a healthy BMI and am still in shock that I'm 131lbs lighter than I was 9 months ago.
I'm currently on call, but it hasn't been as bad as it could be! I've been relatively unbothered. I love my transplant families, but it's always nice to sleep uninterrupted. I'm hoping we don't have any transplants in the next few days, especially while the weather is so disasterous. There's no way we'd be able to go get a heart on a plane right now!
Last night, I had the opportunity to go to a fundraiser for Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy. This 15 year old boy named Darius Weems went on a nationwide trip with 11 friends to get MTV's Pimp My Ride to pimp out his wheelchair. I'd seen the movie before with my friend Amanda at a film festival last year. Amanda got plugged in with the cast and the entire cast/crew came to Dallas for the screening. There were so many Children's friends there. I had a great time being with my friends and NOT having to think about or talk about work.
I hope you are staying warm wherever you are tonight! I know we are!
I was asked to leave work today around 2pm, which I gladly did. I made a pit stop at the grocery store and have since returned home to stay warm. I still have to take Liberty out this evening, but I'm putting that off because I don't want to go out in the cold. Besides, I'm already wearing my Tinker Bell pajamas and no one but me should have to see those! Liberty has also expressed that she would like to stay curled up in the wee ball next to my leg. Most of the time, she doesn't get her way, but I believe she will right now.
This week has been freakishly slow at work. I'm not quite sure why, but it just seems that way. Maybe it's the weather. Who knows!
I go on my cruise in 87 days. This disturbs me because I'm quickly realizing how few clothes I own that will work! I'm slowly buying shirts, but pant sizes are still changing monthly and I don't know what size to buy EVER! It's completely unnerving. I've finally crossed the boundary into a healthy BMI and am still in shock that I'm 131lbs lighter than I was 9 months ago.
I'm currently on call, but it hasn't been as bad as it could be! I've been relatively unbothered. I love my transplant families, but it's always nice to sleep uninterrupted. I'm hoping we don't have any transplants in the next few days, especially while the weather is so disasterous. There's no way we'd be able to go get a heart on a plane right now!
Last night, I had the opportunity to go to a fundraiser for Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy. This 15 year old boy named Darius Weems went on a nationwide trip with 11 friends to get MTV's Pimp My Ride to pimp out his wheelchair. I'd seen the movie before with my friend Amanda at a film festival last year. Amanda got plugged in with the cast and the entire cast/crew came to Dallas for the screening. There were so many Children's friends there. I had a great time being with my friends and NOT having to think about or talk about work.
I hope you are staying warm wherever you are tonight! I know we are!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
We live in such an electronic age! Only in this day and time would I be sitting in a hospital room blogging, listening to my ipod, and texting all at the same time. Not even four hours after our country gets a new president, You tube already has all the coverage online and the stories ranging from small (the hideousness of the first lady's green J Crew gloves) to big (the fact that the president was SO nervous he couldn't even say the oath of office without stumbling!)
Whether or not you agree with the results of the election, the simple fact remains that he is the leader of our nation. He was elected by the people in the very fashion that makes us American...the freedom to choose our leaders. Disagreeing with the government is a liberty we have been given. Thank goodness for that.
My aunt had surgery today, so I took off work to spend time with her. It's mostly to make sure no one screws anything up. So far, everything has gone fine and we're safe and sound in her room upstairs. She'll be staying the night so they can watch her closely. I will be guarding her bedside. It will be nice to see it from the other side.
I'm actually off until Thursday. It's really weird to be off in the middle of the week. I'm loving it! I wish I would have off more often during the time when everyone is working!
Hope you are enjoying the bright and sunny day!
Whether or not you agree with the results of the election, the simple fact remains that he is the leader of our nation. He was elected by the people in the very fashion that makes us American...the freedom to choose our leaders. Disagreeing with the government is a liberty we have been given. Thank goodness for that.
My aunt had surgery today, so I took off work to spend time with her. It's mostly to make sure no one screws anything up. So far, everything has gone fine and we're safe and sound in her room upstairs. She'll be staying the night so they can watch her closely. I will be guarding her bedside. It will be nice to see it from the other side.
I'm actually off until Thursday. It's really weird to be off in the middle of the week. I'm loving it! I wish I would have off more often during the time when everyone is working!
Hope you are enjoying the bright and sunny day!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
I just realized how long it has been since I actually blogged! I've been faithfully reading everyone else's blogs...but I guess it didn't occur to me to update my own. Not really much has gone on, which may have been the reason I didn't do anything!
Work is work. Nothing new or different. I did tell my boss he could find himself another coordinator if he didn't do something about my co-worker. I'm hoping that the hiring of a new manager will make my situation better. I'm not asking for miracles, but I would like to only have to do my job and not someone else's as well.
I've been doing an insane amount of shopping! Apparently, this new body of mine requires clothes and I have LOVED shopping for it! How weird is that? I guess to some people, it's completely normal to love buying clothes...but not for a large person. It's a depressing and stressful experience. Nothing fits right. Nothing looks right. It makes one feel even larger than he/she is. The smaller I get, the more I enjoy it! When I put on clothes, they are always too big or just right. I don't have to tell myself "oh, this label makes clothes smaller" or "I must be retaining water". Things just fit. I went to the Allen outlets on Saturday and bought shirts and pants and even a fabulous "bubble" dress (in a size EIGHT!) for my cruise in April. It was a beautiful and perfect day! I even bought a shirt at Banana Republic, a store that I have admired the clothes but haven't been able to wear for years...14 to be exact! I'm ready to start feeling fabulous in my new clothes!
I am finally sleeping again. Being on call, I don't sleep. I wake up early in the morning and can't go back to sleep. I can't fall asleep. It's just a bad combination. I'm not even getting calls! I just somehow subconsciously know that I'm having to sleep with the phone and pager by my bed. It's horrid. I'm smacking my system back into a regular sleep pattern at the moment. It's a beautiful and precious friend named Ambien. I only have to take it for about three days after I come off call and I move back into a regular sleep cycle. Delightful!
I don't think I'm doing anything particularly exciting this week. I guess that's a good thing, right?
Puppies are doing well. Liberty is currently pouting on the top of the chaise lounge, angry because I won't let her sit with me whilst I eat some popcorn. Oliver is wandering aimlessly around the apartment, randomly chewing on toys and sniffing the trash.
Well, I'm actually pretty exhausted, so I guess I should head off to bed now. The Golden Globes are over...so there's not much else to do on a Sunday night...except maybe watch the Desperate Housewives I DVR'd....
I think bed is gonna win. Night!
Work is work. Nothing new or different. I did tell my boss he could find himself another coordinator if he didn't do something about my co-worker. I'm hoping that the hiring of a new manager will make my situation better. I'm not asking for miracles, but I would like to only have to do my job and not someone else's as well.
I've been doing an insane amount of shopping! Apparently, this new body of mine requires clothes and I have LOVED shopping for it! How weird is that? I guess to some people, it's completely normal to love buying clothes...but not for a large person. It's a depressing and stressful experience. Nothing fits right. Nothing looks right. It makes one feel even larger than he/she is. The smaller I get, the more I enjoy it! When I put on clothes, they are always too big or just right. I don't have to tell myself "oh, this label makes clothes smaller" or "I must be retaining water". Things just fit. I went to the Allen outlets on Saturday and bought shirts and pants and even a fabulous "bubble" dress (in a size EIGHT!) for my cruise in April. It was a beautiful and perfect day! I even bought a shirt at Banana Republic, a store that I have admired the clothes but haven't been able to wear for years...14 to be exact! I'm ready to start feeling fabulous in my new clothes!
I am finally sleeping again. Being on call, I don't sleep. I wake up early in the morning and can't go back to sleep. I can't fall asleep. It's just a bad combination. I'm not even getting calls! I just somehow subconsciously know that I'm having to sleep with the phone and pager by my bed. It's horrid. I'm smacking my system back into a regular sleep pattern at the moment. It's a beautiful and precious friend named Ambien. I only have to take it for about three days after I come off call and I move back into a regular sleep cycle. Delightful!
I don't think I'm doing anything particularly exciting this week. I guess that's a good thing, right?
Puppies are doing well. Liberty is currently pouting on the top of the chaise lounge, angry because I won't let her sit with me whilst I eat some popcorn. Oliver is wandering aimlessly around the apartment, randomly chewing on toys and sniffing the trash.
Well, I'm actually pretty exhausted, so I guess I should head off to bed now. The Golden Globes are over...so there's not much else to do on a Sunday night...except maybe watch the Desperate Housewives I DVR'd....
I think bed is gonna win. Night!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Adios 2008!
2008 has been quite the year. I guess I probably say that every year, but it doesn't make it any less true. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly the year goes by. It just seems like yesterday that I was attending the information class on gastric bypass and now I'm almost 130lbs lighter. I've gone from a BMI of over 45 to one that's almost within the "healthy" range of 20-25 (I'm at 25.2! Almost!). I've dropped more clothes sizes than I know what to do with. I've learned that water is the ultimate beverage and vegetables are not the devil. I haven't had caffeine or sugar since April, and shockingly, one can survive without both! :)
I've also learned who my real friends are. They're the ones who say how healthy I look now, but that I was always beautiful. They aren't intimidated or jealous of my weight loss because they know it hasn't been an easy road. They are the ones who called and visited me during my three hospital admissions this year. They remind me every day how blessed I am to have such a core group of fabulous friends.
I have an amazing family. I knew this already, but after the year I've had, I've come to realize how truly blessed I am. I have a mother who will take off a week from school to be with me after surgery...and who will drop everything to come stay with me while I'm hospitalized. I have a brother who will stop by my hospital room every day after work, even if it's just to watch TV with me. I have a sister in law, not even a blood relative, who came to see me daily and bring me things to do so I wouldn't get bored.
I've learned that being a patient in the hospital is one of the most frustrating experiences known to man. It's a completely powerless feeling, especially when you don't know WHAT is wrong with you. I'm supremely thankful for my fabulous surgeon and his gifted hands...for not only fixing me the first time, but taking out that blasted gallbladder that my body decided it didn't need.
I'm thankful for small blessings....like getting up and drinking a glass of water without throwing up. Like putting on pants that fit last week and realizing they are too big this week. Like walking into a patient's room and seeing their jaw drop because they haven't seen me in a few months.
I have a lot to be grateful for this year, and I hope I never cease to remember that. I am truly blessed.
I've also learned who my real friends are. They're the ones who say how healthy I look now, but that I was always beautiful. They aren't intimidated or jealous of my weight loss because they know it hasn't been an easy road. They are the ones who called and visited me during my three hospital admissions this year. They remind me every day how blessed I am to have such a core group of fabulous friends.
I have an amazing family. I knew this already, but after the year I've had, I've come to realize how truly blessed I am. I have a mother who will take off a week from school to be with me after surgery...and who will drop everything to come stay with me while I'm hospitalized. I have a brother who will stop by my hospital room every day after work, even if it's just to watch TV with me. I have a sister in law, not even a blood relative, who came to see me daily and bring me things to do so I wouldn't get bored.
I've learned that being a patient in the hospital is one of the most frustrating experiences known to man. It's a completely powerless feeling, especially when you don't know WHAT is wrong with you. I'm supremely thankful for my fabulous surgeon and his gifted hands...for not only fixing me the first time, but taking out that blasted gallbladder that my body decided it didn't need.
I'm thankful for small blessings....like getting up and drinking a glass of water without throwing up. Like putting on pants that fit last week and realizing they are too big this week. Like walking into a patient's room and seeing their jaw drop because they haven't seen me in a few months.
I have a lot to be grateful for this year, and I hope I never cease to remember that. I am truly blessed.
Monday, December 29, 2008
On call insomniac!
It's currently 5:27AM and I've been awake and up since 2:46AM. I have no idea why I woke up wide awake and couldn't go back to sleep! It always seems to happen when I'm on call...which would be when I probably should get as much sleep as I possibly can in case of transplant! At least I was productive this morning! I've put away all my suitcases and Christmas presents. I've also cleaned off most of the kitchen counters and scrubbed down the bathtub! CRAZINESS!
This past week has been one for the record books. I have been off since the 19th, which has been lovely. Sadly, I have to go back this morning and I have absolutely no desire to do so. Last weekend, I spent quality time with my sister and her husband after their long drive from Virginia. We went over to my grandma's house in Fort Worth and took her to lunch. Then we spent quality time in a thrift store looking for costumes for our family's pirate themed murder mystery dinner theater. I found some GREAT and cheap stuff!
Monday, Jen, Kim, and I went for pedicures and introduced Kim to sushi! Delicious! :) She's normally NOT a foodie, so we thought she was pretty brave. Of course, she didn't eat anything raw...and I doubt she ever will...but it was a good effort.
Tuesday. Bad day. Terrible, no good, horrific day. One of my sweet little patients is now safely in the arms of Jesus. Enough said. After the horrid morning, Kim, Evan, and I trekked down to Grandma's house in Wimberley for the Christmas festivities.
The rest of the week was filled with family fun and games. The only downer was that my dad was sick the entire weekend with what he thought was just tummy troubles. After taking himself to the ER on Saturday night, turns out he has kidney stones. OUCHIE! He's still in quite a bit of pain.
This week will hopefully go by quickly. I'm on call and my co-worker is out the whole week. It should be interesting!
I'm sure I'll do some touching "Adios to 2008" post at a later date....but you'll have to stay posted for that one!
This past week has been one for the record books. I have been off since the 19th, which has been lovely. Sadly, I have to go back this morning and I have absolutely no desire to do so. Last weekend, I spent quality time with my sister and her husband after their long drive from Virginia. We went over to my grandma's house in Fort Worth and took her to lunch. Then we spent quality time in a thrift store looking for costumes for our family's pirate themed murder mystery dinner theater. I found some GREAT and cheap stuff!
Monday, Jen, Kim, and I went for pedicures and introduced Kim to sushi! Delicious! :) She's normally NOT a foodie, so we thought she was pretty brave. Of course, she didn't eat anything raw...and I doubt she ever will...but it was a good effort.
Tuesday. Bad day. Terrible, no good, horrific day. One of my sweet little patients is now safely in the arms of Jesus. Enough said. After the horrid morning, Kim, Evan, and I trekked down to Grandma's house in Wimberley for the Christmas festivities.
The rest of the week was filled with family fun and games. The only downer was that my dad was sick the entire weekend with what he thought was just tummy troubles. After taking himself to the ER on Saturday night, turns out he has kidney stones. OUCHIE! He's still in quite a bit of pain.
This week will hopefully go by quickly. I'm on call and my co-worker is out the whole week. It should be interesting!
I'm sure I'll do some touching "Adios to 2008" post at a later date....but you'll have to stay posted for that one!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Life aspirations!
Instructions:
Italicize all the things you've already accomplished in your life.
Bold the things you'd like to still be able to do!
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Held a praying mantis
9. Climbed a mountain
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day
Interesting. Is it just me or do most of my bolded items involve travel?
Italicize all the things you've already accomplished in your life.
Bold the things you'd like to still be able to do!
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Held a praying mantis
9. Climbed a mountain
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day
Interesting. Is it just me or do most of my bolded items involve travel?
Friday, December 19, 2008
Picture tag!
Lisa tagged me...
Here's the deal:
1. Go to the place on your computer where you store all your pictures and open the 4th folder
2. Open the 4th picture.
3. Post the picture and give an explanation of what it is.
4. Tag 4 people.
DO NOT CHEAT!! You cannot edit or crop the picture!!
This is the post office in Vancouver. Of course, my picture wouldn't be interesting or anything. It would have been more fun if this picture was the one in the sauna...
I tag:
Dana
Kendi
Kris K
Becca
Have a wonderful night!
Here's the deal:
1. Go to the place on your computer where you store all your pictures and open the 4th folder
2. Open the 4th picture.
3. Post the picture and give an explanation of what it is.
4. Tag 4 people.
DO NOT CHEAT!! You cannot edit or crop the picture!!
This is the post office in Vancouver. Of course, my picture wouldn't be interesting or anything. It would have been more fun if this picture was the one in the sauna...
I tag:
Dana
Kendi
Kris K
Becca
Have a wonderful night!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
The nitty gritty truth
I stole this from a friend's blog. It's an article about being single. I think it's one of the best things I've read in awhile. I spent the evening with both single and married friends whom I've known for probably six years now? This group has had people marry, divorce, have babies, stay single...and yet we all still stay friends. I think this is very unusual, mostly because most of the time things get way different when people get married and move into that next phase of life.
Anyways, I really REALLY like this article. Enjoy.
What I'd like you to know: A Single Adult
The year I turned 30, my birthday happened to fall on Father’s Day. A few days before the combined event, I phoned my dad to tell him I wouldn’t make the three hour drive home to visit. I had just recently moved back to the city of my youthful stomping grounds after 3 years away, and I was the first of my friends to hit the big 3-0.
Dad graciously understood, and asked “So, how old are you this year?”
“Thirty.” I replied.
“Oh.” He sighed, and paused. “I never thought you would be an old maid.”
I know what you’re thinking. But coming from my dad, I wasn’t offended. I knew that in his generation, that was the plain truth. Moreover, I knew that he was really saying, “I can’t believe some man hasn’t snapped up my charming, smart and attractive daughter.”
Eight years later, I’m still not married, and still have no children. I am sure that many people I encounter see an old maid. Of course they don’t say it in as many words as my dad. They show it instead.
They show it when they say, “Not married? Oh, you must be picky.”
I hear it when others, incredulous, refuse to take it as fact. “Just kidding.” I want to say in such cases, “ I am married. Don’t worry. I’m normal.”
I think the inability to categorize me makes some people uncomfortable. If I were divorced, they could make sense of it. Were I a single mom, I’d find sympathy and compassion. But by admitting my single, never married, no-child status is akin to announcing there is something wrong with me. I’m reasonably attractive, funny and pass for intelligent, so people are only left to ponder my fatal flaws. Some people actually ask, “So what’s wrong with you?”
Our society sort of views marriage as a given. A rite of passage. When I read news accounts of a young woman or even a child who died tragically, her parents inevitably say “I’ll never walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. I’ll never hold her children.” It is assumed that everyone who was born will marry and have children. I assumed I would too. When it just doesn’t happen, knowing that it is expected of us only deepens the pain.
That is why it is so hurtful when it is suggested to a single person that they “must be picky.” As if we can just pick a guy and get married. After all, did you settle? Now you’re suggesting that you could have married just anyone. Would you have had as successful a marriage if you had ended up with one of your exes? As much as I long for marriage, I sure am glad I didn’t marry any of the men in my life so far.
That’s the trick about marriage as a goal. It’s not like learning to dance, or committing to losing weight. It doesn’t take will power to find a mate. It takes a mate. It takes a miracle. Oh, that I could just go to the store and pick one up!
True, single for some people is a choice. For those of us who truly desire marriage and children and family, it is not. Marriage is a vocation that two people agree to take on together. I can’t do it by myself. I learned, in just the last two months that I can’t make someone love me. No matter how much I love him, or how strong in faith he might be. Not even that our shared faith made us both stronger. No matter how happy we are together until all the Ifs and Buts step in.
And the simple fact of the matter is, I’ve never been asked.
That alone makes me question my womanhood and my desirability. It’s a very uncomfortable place. I am a woman who desperately desires motherhood. My clock is tocking not ticking. I am very aware that my best reproductive years are over.
What not to say
Please don’t remind a single woman that her chances for a healthy baby are diminishing every year she is over 30. But also, please do not try to encourage us with stories of women who successfully bore children well into their 50s. All of this is completely irrelevant to a woman without a husband or serious boyfriend.
While we’re on the topic, yes, I know adoption is an option. I am adopted myself and believe that adopted babies are indeed the best kind. If I were blessed with marriage, adoption would defiantly be a consideration. But adoption is as far out there as infertility treatments when there is no man in your life.
You’ll find him when you’re not looking
I’m never not looking. Yes, my life is full and happy. But I am a mother without a child. I am a wife without a husband. I want my other half. Think of the loss you would feel if your husband or child suddenly were not there. I feel, not daily, but often, that an important part of my life is missing.
And by the way… dating after age 30 is not fun. It is a chore, like scrubbing the bathtub but less rewarding. It’s hard to look forward to dinner and disappointment. I want to anticipate a nice evening, but this much experience has taught me what to look for in a man – and more often than not, it’s not there.
In the meantime, sometimes I just want to dote my pent-up motherhood on your kids. It’s probably terribly inappropriate, but I will snuggle your baby and sniff its’ head to soak up that sweet smell. I’ve been guilty of tickling and twirling a smiling baby until it spits up. Sorry. I will nosh on your toddlers’ chubby legs and lift his shirt to plant a raspberry, just so I can hear that throaty, from-the-gut baby giggle that makes my heart sing. If it’s no trouble, please just indulge me. (I promise not to do that to your husband.)
Seeing women my age or younger with kids in tow – can stir a pang of deep pain. I once called my church office to ask when Baptisms were scheduled, as I needed to avoid them. Second Sunday of the month, I would attend a different church just so I didn’t have to see the happy couples with their beautiful babies.
That’s another point. Church is no place for a single woman. Church is all about family. That’s why you see so few single adults there. It’s not that they no longer believe, the fact is they don’t feel welcome. When your pastor asks you reach out to share a blessing, do you turn to your family first? I stand there waiting for a hand to embrace.
I worry this writing might sound all bitter and lonely and sad. I am happy. I am blessed with an incredible network of friends. My family is amazing. I enjoy my single life to the best of my ability. People remind me that marriage is not easy. I remind them; neither is being single.
Oddly, Barb in last week’s post on Empty Nesting provided me a point to expound upon. She wrote:
“Life is a circle. You flow from one stage to the next. And with a little time, you become comfortable with the newest stage.” --Barb, A Chelsea Morning
For a perpetually single person, that’s not so. My life is a wandering squiggly line – darting in and out of other people’s circles. Everyone else is buzzing along on a predictable cycle but there is no circle of life in my world. There are no ‘stages’ for me to move through, save the aging process.
I am not Less Than
I realize I may sound contradictory – as I have already pointed out here that I feel a part of me is missing. But I am a whole person. Perhaps I have not yet realized that God intends for me to be alone, and that to Him I am complete and not in need of a husband. I’m still working on trusting God’s divine providence.
What I mean to emphasize is that you need not view me as pathetic and alone. I am not waiting for my life to begin. Marriage is not going to make my life worth living. My life is worthy now. I’m just a little lonely.
Invite me over to play with your kids while you tackle the laundry. Seriously.
Think about introducing me to someone. Don’t wait until you find the ‘perfect guy’ for me. It’s just nice to meet people. You never know who they might lead you to!
If you do make an introduction, don’t make a big fuss. Don’t tell either of us you’re setting it up. Just put us in the same room. If we’re interested, we’ll figure it out. But feel free to point out after the fact, that you introduced me to so-and-so if sparks did not fly.
Pray for single adults. There are ministries for single moms, working moms, elderly widows/widowers, and petitions for the sick. But when does society reach out to the single? Pray that your single friends might daily, feel the love of God and of their friends and neighbors in a tangible way.
Invite your single friends for a meal. We’ll help prepare. I attend my church’s weekly fish fry during Lent – even though I’m allergic to fish. My priest teased me until I explained at home, I have to eat alone.
Keep in touch with your single friends. They’re not out tearing it up and having orgies. We’re not out to steal your husband. Sometimes we just want to experience the hum of a household with a family. Look for things in common with single adults. We might not share your challenges, but we can still relate.
Completely loved this article. AMEN sister.
Anyways, I really REALLY like this article. Enjoy.
What I'd like you to know: A Single Adult
The year I turned 30, my birthday happened to fall on Father’s Day. A few days before the combined event, I phoned my dad to tell him I wouldn’t make the three hour drive home to visit. I had just recently moved back to the city of my youthful stomping grounds after 3 years away, and I was the first of my friends to hit the big 3-0.
Dad graciously understood, and asked “So, how old are you this year?”
“Thirty.” I replied.
“Oh.” He sighed, and paused. “I never thought you would be an old maid.”
I know what you’re thinking. But coming from my dad, I wasn’t offended. I knew that in his generation, that was the plain truth. Moreover, I knew that he was really saying, “I can’t believe some man hasn’t snapped up my charming, smart and attractive daughter.”
Eight years later, I’m still not married, and still have no children. I am sure that many people I encounter see an old maid. Of course they don’t say it in as many words as my dad. They show it instead.
They show it when they say, “Not married? Oh, you must be picky.”
I hear it when others, incredulous, refuse to take it as fact. “Just kidding.” I want to say in such cases, “ I am married. Don’t worry. I’m normal.”
I think the inability to categorize me makes some people uncomfortable. If I were divorced, they could make sense of it. Were I a single mom, I’d find sympathy and compassion. But by admitting my single, never married, no-child status is akin to announcing there is something wrong with me. I’m reasonably attractive, funny and pass for intelligent, so people are only left to ponder my fatal flaws. Some people actually ask, “So what’s wrong with you?”
Our society sort of views marriage as a given. A rite of passage. When I read news accounts of a young woman or even a child who died tragically, her parents inevitably say “I’ll never walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. I’ll never hold her children.” It is assumed that everyone who was born will marry and have children. I assumed I would too. When it just doesn’t happen, knowing that it is expected of us only deepens the pain.
That is why it is so hurtful when it is suggested to a single person that they “must be picky.” As if we can just pick a guy and get married. After all, did you settle? Now you’re suggesting that you could have married just anyone. Would you have had as successful a marriage if you had ended up with one of your exes? As much as I long for marriage, I sure am glad I didn’t marry any of the men in my life so far.
That’s the trick about marriage as a goal. It’s not like learning to dance, or committing to losing weight. It doesn’t take will power to find a mate. It takes a mate. It takes a miracle. Oh, that I could just go to the store and pick one up!
True, single for some people is a choice. For those of us who truly desire marriage and children and family, it is not. Marriage is a vocation that two people agree to take on together. I can’t do it by myself. I learned, in just the last two months that I can’t make someone love me. No matter how much I love him, or how strong in faith he might be. Not even that our shared faith made us both stronger. No matter how happy we are together until all the Ifs and Buts step in.
And the simple fact of the matter is, I’ve never been asked.
That alone makes me question my womanhood and my desirability. It’s a very uncomfortable place. I am a woman who desperately desires motherhood. My clock is tocking not ticking. I am very aware that my best reproductive years are over.
What not to say
Please don’t remind a single woman that her chances for a healthy baby are diminishing every year she is over 30. But also, please do not try to encourage us with stories of women who successfully bore children well into their 50s. All of this is completely irrelevant to a woman without a husband or serious boyfriend.
While we’re on the topic, yes, I know adoption is an option. I am adopted myself and believe that adopted babies are indeed the best kind. If I were blessed with marriage, adoption would defiantly be a consideration. But adoption is as far out there as infertility treatments when there is no man in your life.
You’ll find him when you’re not looking
I’m never not looking. Yes, my life is full and happy. But I am a mother without a child. I am a wife without a husband. I want my other half. Think of the loss you would feel if your husband or child suddenly were not there. I feel, not daily, but often, that an important part of my life is missing.
And by the way… dating after age 30 is not fun. It is a chore, like scrubbing the bathtub but less rewarding. It’s hard to look forward to dinner and disappointment. I want to anticipate a nice evening, but this much experience has taught me what to look for in a man – and more often than not, it’s not there.
In the meantime, sometimes I just want to dote my pent-up motherhood on your kids. It’s probably terribly inappropriate, but I will snuggle your baby and sniff its’ head to soak up that sweet smell. I’ve been guilty of tickling and twirling a smiling baby until it spits up. Sorry. I will nosh on your toddlers’ chubby legs and lift his shirt to plant a raspberry, just so I can hear that throaty, from-the-gut baby giggle that makes my heart sing. If it’s no trouble, please just indulge me. (I promise not to do that to your husband.)
Seeing women my age or younger with kids in tow – can stir a pang of deep pain. I once called my church office to ask when Baptisms were scheduled, as I needed to avoid them. Second Sunday of the month, I would attend a different church just so I didn’t have to see the happy couples with their beautiful babies.
That’s another point. Church is no place for a single woman. Church is all about family. That’s why you see so few single adults there. It’s not that they no longer believe, the fact is they don’t feel welcome. When your pastor asks you reach out to share a blessing, do you turn to your family first? I stand there waiting for a hand to embrace.
I worry this writing might sound all bitter and lonely and sad. I am happy. I am blessed with an incredible network of friends. My family is amazing. I enjoy my single life to the best of my ability. People remind me that marriage is not easy. I remind them; neither is being single.
Oddly, Barb in last week’s post on Empty Nesting provided me a point to expound upon. She wrote:
“Life is a circle. You flow from one stage to the next. And with a little time, you become comfortable with the newest stage.” --Barb, A Chelsea Morning
For a perpetually single person, that’s not so. My life is a wandering squiggly line – darting in and out of other people’s circles. Everyone else is buzzing along on a predictable cycle but there is no circle of life in my world. There are no ‘stages’ for me to move through, save the aging process.
I am not Less Than
I realize I may sound contradictory – as I have already pointed out here that I feel a part of me is missing. But I am a whole person. Perhaps I have not yet realized that God intends for me to be alone, and that to Him I am complete and not in need of a husband. I’m still working on trusting God’s divine providence.
What I mean to emphasize is that you need not view me as pathetic and alone. I am not waiting for my life to begin. Marriage is not going to make my life worth living. My life is worthy now. I’m just a little lonely.
Invite me over to play with your kids while you tackle the laundry. Seriously.
Think about introducing me to someone. Don’t wait until you find the ‘perfect guy’ for me. It’s just nice to meet people. You never know who they might lead you to!
If you do make an introduction, don’t make a big fuss. Don’t tell either of us you’re setting it up. Just put us in the same room. If we’re interested, we’ll figure it out. But feel free to point out after the fact, that you introduced me to so-and-so if sparks did not fly.
Pray for single adults. There are ministries for single moms, working moms, elderly widows/widowers, and petitions for the sick. But when does society reach out to the single? Pray that your single friends might daily, feel the love of God and of their friends and neighbors in a tangible way.
Invite your single friends for a meal. We’ll help prepare. I attend my church’s weekly fish fry during Lent – even though I’m allergic to fish. My priest teased me until I explained at home, I have to eat alone.
Keep in touch with your single friends. They’re not out tearing it up and having orgies. We’re not out to steal your husband. Sometimes we just want to experience the hum of a household with a family. Look for things in common with single adults. We might not share your challenges, but we can still relate.
Completely loved this article. AMEN sister.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Guess I've been hiding!
Wow, I really haven't updated for awhile! Ah well, if something truly fabulous had happened, I probably would have gotten on here....so you can guess that nothing has! :)
The parade was SO MUCH FUN! I don't have any pictures of myself, still waiting for people to forward me their pictures. It was an amazing experience! I was able to get there much later than I usually do since I was a character! I put on my fabulous costume, and then felt HUGE! :) I guess I never realized how big those characters are meant to be. I had about a nectarine sized area I could see out of, which was completely freaky. Thankfully, the fabulous character escorts walked me out to the golf cart and then shoved me into the antique car. I know there was a child sitting next to me, but I couldn't tell you anything about them. I couldn't even SEE him! I sat waving for a solid hour, hearing children scream my character's name. I didn't even know anyone knew him! After the parade was over, I was thankful to get back to the safe area so I could rip that stupid character head off! Not being able to talk for all that time was torture.
This week really flew by! I had two sweet babies that I had to do all their transplant teaching this week. It's always more fun when it's not in English. Their going home makes my clinic more crazy. That's okay. I love when babies get new hearts, even if it makes more work for me.
Today I finished a 26 day streak on call. AWFUL! I've been on call since November 17th, but it's all good now...because I'm DONE! I will not be sleeping with any phones next to my bed, and hopefully, I'll sleep better. I've been having headaches this week, and I think it's because I don't sleep well.
Tomorrow, I'm hopefully going to do some Christmas shopping. I need to mail a few, and it's starting to get late in the month. I'm normally good and have at least the majority by now, but not so much this year.
Okay. Liberty and I are going to attempt to stay warm. I think it's only in the 40's here today! :)
The parade was SO MUCH FUN! I don't have any pictures of myself, still waiting for people to forward me their pictures. It was an amazing experience! I was able to get there much later than I usually do since I was a character! I put on my fabulous costume, and then felt HUGE! :) I guess I never realized how big those characters are meant to be. I had about a nectarine sized area I could see out of, which was completely freaky. Thankfully, the fabulous character escorts walked me out to the golf cart and then shoved me into the antique car. I know there was a child sitting next to me, but I couldn't tell you anything about them. I couldn't even SEE him! I sat waving for a solid hour, hearing children scream my character's name. I didn't even know anyone knew him! After the parade was over, I was thankful to get back to the safe area so I could rip that stupid character head off! Not being able to talk for all that time was torture.
This week really flew by! I had two sweet babies that I had to do all their transplant teaching this week. It's always more fun when it's not in English. Their going home makes my clinic more crazy. That's okay. I love when babies get new hearts, even if it makes more work for me.
Today I finished a 26 day streak on call. AWFUL! I've been on call since November 17th, but it's all good now...because I'm DONE! I will not be sleeping with any phones next to my bed, and hopefully, I'll sleep better. I've been having headaches this week, and I think it's because I don't sleep well.
Tomorrow, I'm hopefully going to do some Christmas shopping. I need to mail a few, and it's starting to get late in the month. I'm normally good and have at least the majority by now, but not so much this year.
Okay. Liberty and I are going to attempt to stay warm. I think it's only in the 40's here today! :)
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