A week past....

It's been a week since I have posted last. My sweet transplant from my last post has gone HOME (go DIVA go!)and I could not be more proud of her! I have had a new transplant kiddo in the interim, and he is doing well. I do have one precious transplant baby who is NOT doing well, and I am asking all prayers for my sweet Hannah. I know that her parents would welcome any help and prayers directed towards her. She is very sick and neeeding my blog friends to come together and pray HARD for her healing.

I've experience a sort of set back this week. I thought I would be headed toward nurse practitioner school in the fall, but there are no funds and no supporters, so I wait. And see if this is what GOD has designed for me. Keep praying.

Other than that, I have no new developments. My main purpose? To PRAY FOR HANNAH. This little girl needs more prayer than I have ever asked for. She is a precious little girl who deserves no less than the best. PRAY for her!!!!

Exhausted

I am TIRED. Having my weekend ZAPPED by a transplant is always a double edged joy...happy for the patient who gets a new heart, but sad for me because I am up for countless hours and no sleep.

This week, I am totally prepared to be alone all week again. It's all good, I have the stamina to handle it, I just don't appreciate it!

I would ask your PRAYERS for my precious doctor friend who is dealing with all this crap alone at the moment. We have some really sick kiddos....and I do not enjoy having a stressed out doctor! She is too much of a fabulous resource for people to mess with!!!

This week, I really NEED to start packing. That's a goal. It may or may NOT happen. I loathe packing.

That's all that's going on at the moment. Night!

The craziness continues!

Never let it be said that my time alone at work was boring! This week, we've managed to evaluate two kids, admit more kids than I would like, and been attacked by WAY more paperwork than is humanly necessary. It's all good. I understand that everyone needs their time off....but it really is draining on the psyche!

In other excitement, poor Liberty had surgery this week. It was supposed to be a routine dental cleaning, but ended up where she had to have a tooth extracted. This brought on two days (and still going!) of sneezing blood and a generally crabby Liberty Grace. She is better today than she was yesterday, but still having some issues that I'm not entirely happy with the vet about. She's a tad pitiful, but having Oliver around to bug her doesn't give her much recoup time. Poor thing has to be crated with him all day...no telling what THAT is like!

Jason and I had our five month anniversary today! Of course, he's off working, but I am happy he is! He's had a really hard month and the railroad has cut back on the amount of trains it is sending out. Thankfully, it is picking up and he's back to work on a consistant basis. I do miss him being around, but I am glad things are starting to turn around at work!

I am moving in less than 2 months and I haven't packed a single box yet! This is exceptionally unusual for me! I guess I need to get moving, right?

One year ago yesterday, I was admitted for my eleven day stay at Baylor University Medical Center. It was the most horrific thing I've ever experienced, comprised of a TON of puking, scans, lab tests, and culminating in my gall bladder removal. It doesn't seem like it's been a year...but July 5 will be my one year from GB removal...and that seems BIZARRE! Thank goodness for my amazing surgeon (LOVE you, Dr Kuhn!) who tirelessly fought to figure out what was wrong with me!

Okay, I'm currently being sucked in to the TV series "The Tudors" (thanks Michael and Jen!). I'll update again soon...

Same story, ninth verse!

I bet you will NEVER ever guess what the title of this blog is about...oh yes, my friends...I'm moving AGAIN! Unfortunately my brilliant plan to save money by living right by the hospital isn't working out so well. So, I'll be moving in August...my ninth move since I moved to Dallas in 1999. Wow. Has it really been that long? Huh. Interesting.

Anyways, I'm actually moving out of my comfort zone and happy Dallas bubble. In looking at rent and freeways and traffic, I decided it probably wasn't a good plan for me to move back up to North Dallas. The tollway sucks money out of me and I don't want to go that route again. My next thought was over by my brother and sister in law's house...but then that puts me farther away from Jason in Fort Worth. Not a great option! So, I reached out of my protective Dallas bubble and feverishly searched the mid-cities area (Hurst/Euless/Bedford). I found a great affordable apartment in Euless and turned in my application yesterday! This time, I got smart and did it through a company which will pay for my move. DeLIGHTful! Those of you who know me at all understand that a moving company is a luxury I have always insisted on paying for. I'd rather eat ramen for a month than have to move myself! :)

So, effective August 21st, I'll be a Tarrant county resident. It should be interesting. My aunt lives in Euless and works in Dallas so she's got all kinds of lovely short cuts to save me from the drama of the freeways. It will be nice to be so close to her, although I'm sad to be farther from Michael and Jennifer. I just need to figure out how to get Jen over her fear of freeways so she can come and play with me more often! :) I mean, I'll live 10 minutes from Grapevine Mills! How fabulous is THAT?

This week has been the complete opposite work week than last! I have only had two or three kids in clinic, which is shocking for me. I'm used to having seven or eight every time! It's a nice break. One of my transplant docs is going on vacation today for 3 weeks, then the other coordinator goes for 2 weeks...so it's nice to get a calm week before the mayhem! :)

Guess I should probably get back to work. Have a fabulous day!

My amazing life.

God has blessed me with the ultimate amazing life. I have a job in which I get to tell people "HEY, we HAVE a new life for your child!". I also have a personal life where I have a man who wants nothing more than to make me happy. I am extremely blessed.

Life is a whirlwind at this point. My job is completely crazy...doing NINE transplants in FIVE months is a bit ridiculous. But I am coping. The fact that I have been on call for less of the transplants is FABULOUS! Of course, more than half of the kids are "mine", but that is ok. I can deal with the after effects of these transplants. I am just SO lucky that my babies are getting new starts at life.

In my personal life, I am so completely in LOVE. Well, not IN love, but I love a most fabulous man. He is not what I ever would have expected to fall for, but only GOD knows what is best for me. And I have found HIM. The one. But that's just between you and me. Although I know that "you" is multiple people....including my parents! So that's my statement of faith...that I have found the man I am supposed to be with. I must be completely crazy.

So, what else is going on? Not much. I am moving from my beautiful commute of 2 minutes to 25+ minutes of commute to be closer to someone I love. I am apartment searching in the mid-cities area (predominately the HEB area) because I feel I need to make a change in price for my apartment. I guess that's what we do for LOVE! :)

Work is WORK. It's nothing fabulous, but I do get to spend fabulous hours with children that change lives. I am extremely blessed. I realize this. And for this, I am thankful.

So, to the God who is INFINITELY able to do more than I ask or could even possibly imagine, I am thankful. For more than life itself.

Did I really do that?

When I was rolled back to the operating room on April 21, 2008, I knew that my life was going to drastically change. In my pre operative meetings with my surgeon, he presented both surgical options. After my extensive research, I was already leaning towards the gastric bypass to give myself some physical consequences for poor eating choices. He told me that patients typically lose up to 75% of their excess body weight. He thought that with my determined spirit and desire to succeed, I would do even better than that.

The year hasn't been a walk in the park as far as my body is concerned. Two additional hospitalizations, one gall bladder gone, two endoscopies...none of these things were planned. 6 weeks of throwing up 5 times a day wasn't planned. Five months of trying to get recovered from all that fiasco wasn't in my thought processes when I was rolled into that operating room.

My life has drastically changed. If someone had asked me 9 months ago if I would do this surgery again, I would have no doubt laughed in their face and said not in a MILLION years! If you asked me now? I would wholeheartedly say absolutely YES without a minute of hesitation. Why? Because even through all the crap, I feel amazing. I'm told I look amazing. I go up flights of stairs without getting tired. My asthma hasn't been near the issues this winter. I can go into a store, pull a medium off the shelf and not try it on because I know it will fit. I don't have to use the "big girl" excuse of "Well, sizes just run small in this store". It's pretty amazing.

SO. Seven incisions=lots of pain! Three hospital visits=no fun. Weeks and weeks of throwing up=absolutely time to forget that. Losing 143lbs=PRICELESS! Hooray!

Early morning rising.

I am absolutely not a morning person, by any sort of stretch of anyone's imagination. I am not typically nasty, but I don't bound out of bed with a great big smile on my face and a raging excitement to start the day. You can imagine how excited it would make me to get up at 4:30AM, get ready for the day, trek off to work, only to find out 20 minutes after I get here that the transplant supposed to start at 6AM is now starting at 7:30AM. ARG! The oh-so-inept procurement coordinator (the person who takes care of the donor) told me happily "Now you can just go back to bed for a little bit!" No. Not really. I'm not going home (even though home is very close!) to re-anger the dogs, settle them down, get back into my bed for what will be a fitful sleep and no doubt make me even more crabby than I already have the potential to be.

So here I sit in my office, Dasani in hand, jamming happily to my iPod, which is currently playing Phil Collins. Ah yes, it's a thrilling life I lead! I am sad because today I was supposed to be going to the Main Street Arts Festival in downtown Fort Worth with Jennifer, and now I'm not going to be able to go. Seeing as I have had all of about 30 minutes of sleep in the last 24 hours, I don't think I'll be that fun. I don't even know at what point I'll get out of here or be coherant enough for conversation, let alone driving to Fort Worth. So I get to miss that. But a sweet baby girl gets a new heart...so I guess things could be a lot worse.

This week is going to be CRAZY! I am only working Monday through Thursday and then off Friday for VACATION! I'll probably leave early a few days to make up for this epic adventure I've been on in the last 18 hours. I first found out about this transplant at 11AM yesterday, but we didn't get the official call until almost 8PM. Needless to say, it's been stalking me!

Friday will be spent in the normal pre vacation mode...wildly packing and re-packing, the much needed pedicure (complete with neon vacation colors...I'm thinking hot pink!), and general pacing about until I can finally leave for the airport. The flight doesn't leave until 8PM, so there's lots of nervous pacing until I am safely on that plane and headed for vacation wonderland. Our fabulous hotel (it's at the airport, it almost HAS to be "fabulous"!) has a shuttle who will pick us up at any hour at the airport and take us back for a few hours of sleep. I'll no doubt spring out of bed nice and early on Saturday, completely excited to start our cruising fun. It's nice being a returning cruiser because now I have a basic knowledge of what's smart to do. For example, it's really REALLY smart to pack pajamas and a swimsuit in your carry on. Your luggage may not get there until 10PM, even after the boat has already sailed, and you may really REALLY want to put on pajamas and crawl into bed to start the fun times of free room service! We also got smart this time and booked the later dinner time slot...which will hopefully ensure that we won't miss every sail away from the islands or more importantly, the sunsets!

As far as what's been going on in my neck of the woods, it pretty much can be broken down into a few things. I've been working hard, but not harder than I have to. I'm doing my absolute best and am still striving to be the best coordinator I can be. I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do when my lease is up in August. Yep, probably move...how'd you guess? :) I'm loving spending every moment I can with Jason, figuring out where we're going in our relationship and introducing him to as much of my nutty family as is possible. I'm still reeling in shock that my surgery was a year ago on Tuesday. See? Not much going on here!

I won't post again until after vacation, unless I decide to do a homage to Betty on Tuesday, which still could happen but will absolutely depend on how crazy the days get here. I'll leave you with a lovely reminder of where I'll be spending next week...Bon Voyage!

Drama

As much as I would like to say my life is full of drama, I am constantly reminded that so many other people have it far worse than I.

I don't have a child in a PICU who has uncontrollable SVT. Meet Stellan.

I don't have a child who even in utero, is destined to fail, but by God's grace, is continuing to live. Meet April.

I don't have a child without an acceptable diagnosis who continues to have bizarre symptoms that don't seem to have a cause. Meet Keegan.

I don't have a child who continually tries to reject her transplanted organ and who consistantly tries to make her world a better place. Meet Ashley.

I sit here in awe of families who are consistantly broken over and over by the "drama" that overwhelmes, but does not break them. I sit and stress about a co-worker who angers me.

Sometimes, my life is so trivial in the grand scheme of things.

Yet, I have a job where I get to announce NEW LIFE to families. "We have a heart for your child" and "Your child's new heart is beating" are the two most favorite things I ever get to say.

But in my normal life, I have no stress even comparable to these people. I sit and wonder why I stress about what someone says or does when someone else is at their literal breaking point.

I need some perspective.

Thank goodness for a Savior who loves ALL of us. We are all important in HIS eyes.

I am humbled that HE thinks of me just as much as a family in true crisis. Everyone is equal in His eyes. And for that, I am thankful.

Prayers are needed.

Now THIS is spring!

The last few days have been absolutely BEAUTIFUL! I can't get over how sunny and warm (but not HOT!) it has been around here! I love it! It's been sitting mid 70's with no clouds and just a very light breeze. The back door has been open most of the time I've been home and the puppies have been soaking up every second of outside time.

I've been battling some sort of disgusting spring infection. It started out as strep throat (I didn't even know adults could still get that!) and gradually turned into some horrifying bronchitis. I'm on my second round of antibiotics, but I'm feeling so much better by the day. I need to keep my sleep caught up and then I'll really feel better! I'm still coughing and hacking, but I'm on the road to recovery. I'm guessing that simple penicillin antibiotics just aren't gonna cut it anymore...I'll have to move straight up to the good ones!

I need to get better quickly because I got drafted to be a camp nurse at transplant camp next weekend! It goes from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon. My friend (and transplant doctor!) Lisa and I were drafted and I'm excited about it! I've been to the camp facility before during heart camp, but have never had the opportunity to stay there. It should be an interesting experience....30 teenagers and the outdoors! Hopefully there will be no large insects, reptiles, or rodents lurking about.

My cruise leaves five weeks from tomorrow! HOORAY! I am so SO excited! It's getting really close to time to buy plane tickets and shore excursions. I think that's when it really seems to feel real! I'm still attempting to find cruise/summer clothes. I think that's probably the most frustrating thing of all! I got some great sundresses last weekend at Old Navy. They were a nice surprise!

I keep squirting Liberty and Oliver with water when they fall asleep. Both of them were absolute beasts while I was trying to sleep last night! Oliver kept jumping in and out of bed. Liberty kept barking. Neither of these things equals good sleep! I figure, if they sleep this afternoon, they may not want to sleep tonight. This will NOT be acceptable. Needless to say, they are not happy with me the moment. Hey, people need SLEEP! They can get over it! :)

Me and my crockpot are having all kinds of adventures together. Tonight, I have created some sort of pork tenderloin wonderland. I mixed in barbeque sauce (no sugar added! Hooray!), onion soup mix, and some water and threw in a piece of pork. It's been cooking happily for quite some time. I bought my crock pot to transport queso for a superbowl party and we've been inseparable ever since! I'm turning domestic! Scared yet? :) I've also developed an addiction to doing laundry! Perhaps I've been overtaken by some sort of alien being! I guess you can't watch as much Food Network as I do without it rubbing off at some point.

I am on call this weekend, but hopefully I won't be getting as many phone calls as I did last weekend! Only one more week on and then two weeks off! Hooray!

Yep, I'm a slacker!

Good heavens, this blog has been neglected! I just realized that I'm completely obsessed with checking other blogs, but it has somehow escaped me that people might want to know what's going on in MY life. Perhaps I'm wrong. I still see people coming to my blog, but maybe they are just using my blog as a jumping off point for visiting others!

Where do I even begin? I guess I can start with work. It's been BUSY! We've been transplanting like CRAZY and we've been seeing a TON of kids! That's good in one respect, but doesn't help my sanity level! I've had some really bad patient experiences the last month or so, so I'm working very hard on seeing the good in my job. I know God has me there for a reason, and it's taking every ounce of me some weeks to determine what that is. Perhaps it's just to teach me to be better in control of my emotions as they relate to patients? Who even knows. I get very involved in the care of these sweet babies, so it really affects me when bad things happen. I've been thinking a lot lately about justice and its place in my job. I've got sweet angels who are dancing with Jesus that took their meds every day of their lives....and bratty teenagers who refuse to take their meds and keep on ticking. Why DO bad things happen to good people? I'm working through this very question and am open to any/all suggestions on books to read or thoughts on the subject.

As far as non work stuff goes, there's a lot going on there too! I'm planning to go on a cruise in April, which I think I've mentioned before. I think there's 49 days to go now! I NEED this vacation and I can't even imagine how fabulous it's going to be! The differences since my last cruise will be most evident in the quantity of food I can consume, but that's okay. I can at least order the pretty food and just bask in its beauty! I went to a drug representative dinner last night and they kept begging me to order dessert! I kept saying, um, no thank you! Finally, I just gave in and ordered the "Death by Chocolate" cake, then promptly handed it off to one of the other people I was there with. It felt weird to be ordering sugar! At least on the cruise, I can order cheese or fruit for dessert and hopefully will not be judged by those around me! If so, who cares! :) I'll get lots of exercise roaming around Caribbean islands and snorkeling to my heart's content! I almost wish I could go back to the island where I almost died from all the hiking just to see how much better I could do!

My weight loss still continues to shock the snot out of me. A day doesn't go by when someone says "Are you done YET?". To answer all these questions, NO. I am not done. I will be done when I say I'm done. And that time hasnt' come yet. I think I've finally settled on a goal weight, but I still need to meet with my dietitian to see if that's a reasonable goal and how I stay there once I'm there. I really don't have that much farther to go. My next goal is to become more active. I've sworn off the elevator at my apartment complex, and I am starting to swear off it at work too. I need to actually get onto the elliptical machine at the gym...that is my next goal, I think. My endurance is SO much better since my jelly legs have basically gone away!

I've also got a new relationship that's making me pretty darn happy. I've endured a lot of garbage over the last couple of years, either the other person wasn't ready...or I wasn't ready...not meant to be the right person at the right time. I'm beginning to think I'm finally at that ready stage, both emotionally and spiritually. It's a nice place to be in. Just when I had all but given up, an amazing guy found me! We're having a great time and I'm just trying to understand it all. It's nice to be in a relationship that I don't have those typical girl panics in....will he call? Did I just make a fool of myself? What does he really think? We'll see where this is going, but right now, I'm exceptionally content.

Okay, I've been typing this for a really REALLY long time now. I hope your weekend is warm and happy...I know mine will be!

Another Honduras blog

PLEASE keep my friends in your prayers! Here's a blog from another friend who is down in Honduras helping save the lives of children with heart defects!

http://shakethetreeoflife.blogspot.com/

Healing Hearts in Honduras

Many of you know I had the fabulous opportunity to go to Honduras last year on a cardiac surgery mission trip. I didn't have the chance to go this year, but they leave tomorrow morning, bright and early. Please keep them in your prayers...I have many wonderful friends on this trip!

You can follow their progress at http://trenasue.blogspot.com

Movies and shopping!

Only in Texas can we go from an ice storm that shuts down the entire city to the next weekend which is beautiful, sunny, and in the 70's. I live in such a freaky state!

This week has been an extremely odd one. At work, it's been crazy and slow, all at the same time. I've had a lot going on, but it all seems to be over and done by 1:30PM to where I'm having to search for things to do! Let's just say I worked on a project for a doctor, cleaned my office, sent off a bazillion emails that meant nothing, and spent lots of extra time with my patients...and I was still leaving by 3 every day! That's the beauty and torture of being a salaried employee. Weeks like last week make me so HAPPY I don't have to clock in and out! Weeks where I'm doing transplants all hours of the night and admitting and discharging EVERYONE, I'd love to be able to clock in and record every single minute! It's the best of both worlds, I guess. Most of the time, I'd just like my co-worker to have to clock in so my boss can see what a colossal time waster she is!

Yesterday, I went to the movies with Jen and our friend Leah. We saw "He's just not that into you"....which is a brilliantly written movie. I'm serious, it's freakishly accurate! For those of you who have been married for awhile...or in a relationship forever...this is a completely eye opening view of singlehood. Almost every time the main character made some ridiculous relationship choice, I was thinking back to a guy that I have done the VERY SAME thing on! Guess I'm not as much of a dating retard as I thought, apparently everyone has the same retardation! I think the most blinding part of the movie was to realize how much blame we as women take on ourselves for crap that's not even our fault. One of the characters is married and her husband cheats on her. She attempts to justify it by saying "Well, I changed or I wasn't available". What CRAP is that? Yes, absolutely. Your un-availability made your husband go strip off his clothes and be with another woman. I think we need to realize that every situation is NOT our fault. No wonder we're relationship retarded.

I also bought a fabulous new dress yesterday! While I was waiting to go meet Jen at the movies, I stopped at Macy's to sniff around. I have a gift card I received for Christmas and haven't spent it yet...so I needed some excitement. I wound up finding this dress and it was even less expensive than I thought it was! What a delight! It's black and fabulous...I'll probably wear it for the cruise or maybe just around the house when I want to be fancy. There's no telling. It's completely a dress that I wouldn't have chosen, but once I put it on, I didn't want to take it off! Isn't it nice when clothes make you feel that way? Much better than just treating them as a reason not to go outside naked!

I have no idea what this week looks like. I'm sure it's gonna be crazy and disasterous. Oh well...I guess it's about time after the slow week!

The miracles continue...

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Frigid!

Texas weather is weird. There's just nothing else that can describe it. Only in my great state would it be 80 degrees last Friday and in the 40's on Saturday. Today, it's raining and cold with a current temperature of 30 degrees. It's only supposed to get colder as the night progresses which will no doubt lead to fun and games involving ice later on!

I was asked to leave work today around 2pm, which I gladly did. I made a pit stop at the grocery store and have since returned home to stay warm. I still have to take Liberty out this evening, but I'm putting that off because I don't want to go out in the cold. Besides, I'm already wearing my Tinker Bell pajamas and no one but me should have to see those! Liberty has also expressed that she would like to stay curled up in the wee ball next to my leg. Most of the time, she doesn't get her way, but I believe she will right now.

This week has been freakishly slow at work. I'm not quite sure why, but it just seems that way. Maybe it's the weather. Who knows!

I go on my cruise in 87 days. This disturbs me because I'm quickly realizing how few clothes I own that will work! I'm slowly buying shirts, but pant sizes are still changing monthly and I don't know what size to buy EVER! It's completely unnerving. I've finally crossed the boundary into a healthy BMI and am still in shock that I'm 131lbs lighter than I was 9 months ago.

I'm currently on call, but it hasn't been as bad as it could be! I've been relatively unbothered. I love my transplant families, but it's always nice to sleep uninterrupted. I'm hoping we don't have any transplants in the next few days, especially while the weather is so disasterous. There's no way we'd be able to go get a heart on a plane right now!

Last night, I had the opportunity to go to a fundraiser for Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy. This 15 year old boy named Darius Weems went on a nationwide trip with 11 friends to get MTV's Pimp My Ride to pimp out his wheelchair. I'd seen the movie before with my friend Amanda at a film festival last year. Amanda got plugged in with the cast and the entire cast/crew came to Dallas for the screening. There were so many Children's friends there. I had a great time being with my friends and NOT having to think about or talk about work.

I hope you are staying warm wherever you are tonight! I know we are!

We live in such an electronic age! Only in this day and time would I be sitting in a hospital room blogging, listening to my ipod, and texting all at the same time. Not even four hours after our country gets a new president, You tube already has all the coverage online and the stories ranging from small (the hideousness of the first lady's green J Crew gloves) to big (the fact that the president was SO nervous he couldn't even say the oath of office without stumbling!)

Whether or not you agree with the results of the election, the simple fact remains that he is the leader of our nation. He was elected by the people in the very fashion that makes us American...the freedom to choose our leaders. Disagreeing with the government is a liberty we have been given. Thank goodness for that.

My aunt had surgery today, so I took off work to spend time with her. It's mostly to make sure no one screws anything up. So far, everything has gone fine and we're safe and sound in her room upstairs. She'll be staying the night so they can watch her closely. I will be guarding her bedside. It will be nice to see it from the other side.

I'm actually off until Thursday. It's really weird to be off in the middle of the week. I'm loving it! I wish I would have off more often during the time when everyone is working!

Hope you are enjoying the bright and sunny day!

I just realized how long it has been since I actually blogged! I've been faithfully reading everyone else's blogs...but I guess it didn't occur to me to update my own. Not really much has gone on, which may have been the reason I didn't do anything!

Work is work. Nothing new or different. I did tell my boss he could find himself another coordinator if he didn't do something about my co-worker. I'm hoping that the hiring of a new manager will make my situation better. I'm not asking for miracles, but I would like to only have to do my job and not someone else's as well.

I've been doing an insane amount of shopping! Apparently, this new body of mine requires clothes and I have LOVED shopping for it! How weird is that? I guess to some people, it's completely normal to love buying clothes...but not for a large person. It's a depressing and stressful experience. Nothing fits right. Nothing looks right. It makes one feel even larger than he/she is. The smaller I get, the more I enjoy it! When I put on clothes, they are always too big or just right. I don't have to tell myself "oh, this label makes clothes smaller" or "I must be retaining water". Things just fit. I went to the Allen outlets on Saturday and bought shirts and pants and even a fabulous "bubble" dress (in a size EIGHT!) for my cruise in April. It was a beautiful and perfect day! I even bought a shirt at Banana Republic, a store that I have admired the clothes but haven't been able to wear for years...14 to be exact! I'm ready to start feeling fabulous in my new clothes!

I am finally sleeping again. Being on call, I don't sleep. I wake up early in the morning and can't go back to sleep. I can't fall asleep. It's just a bad combination. I'm not even getting calls! I just somehow subconsciously know that I'm having to sleep with the phone and pager by my bed. It's horrid. I'm smacking my system back into a regular sleep pattern at the moment. It's a beautiful and precious friend named Ambien. I only have to take it for about three days after I come off call and I move back into a regular sleep cycle. Delightful!

I don't think I'm doing anything particularly exciting this week. I guess that's a good thing, right?

Puppies are doing well. Liberty is currently pouting on the top of the chaise lounge, angry because I won't let her sit with me whilst I eat some popcorn. Oliver is wandering aimlessly around the apartment, randomly chewing on toys and sniffing the trash.

Well, I'm actually pretty exhausted, so I guess I should head off to bed now. The Golden Globes are over...so there's not much else to do on a Sunday night...except maybe watch the Desperate Housewives I DVR'd....

I think bed is gonna win. Night!

Adios 2008!

2008 has been quite the year. I guess I probably say that every year, but it doesn't make it any less true. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly the year goes by. It just seems like yesterday that I was attending the information class on gastric bypass and now I'm almost 130lbs lighter. I've gone from a BMI of over 45 to one that's almost within the "healthy" range of 20-25 (I'm at 25.2! Almost!). I've dropped more clothes sizes than I know what to do with. I've learned that water is the ultimate beverage and vegetables are not the devil. I haven't had caffeine or sugar since April, and shockingly, one can survive without both! :)

I've also learned who my real friends are. They're the ones who say how healthy I look now, but that I was always beautiful. They aren't intimidated or jealous of my weight loss because they know it hasn't been an easy road. They are the ones who called and visited me during my three hospital admissions this year. They remind me every day how blessed I am to have such a core group of fabulous friends.

I have an amazing family. I knew this already, but after the year I've had, I've come to realize how truly blessed I am. I have a mother who will take off a week from school to be with me after surgery...and who will drop everything to come stay with me while I'm hospitalized. I have a brother who will stop by my hospital room every day after work, even if it's just to watch TV with me. I have a sister in law, not even a blood relative, who came to see me daily and bring me things to do so I wouldn't get bored.

I've learned that being a patient in the hospital is one of the most frustrating experiences known to man. It's a completely powerless feeling, especially when you don't know WHAT is wrong with you. I'm supremely thankful for my fabulous surgeon and his gifted hands...for not only fixing me the first time, but taking out that blasted gallbladder that my body decided it didn't need.

I'm thankful for small blessings....like getting up and drinking a glass of water without throwing up. Like putting on pants that fit last week and realizing they are too big this week. Like walking into a patient's room and seeing their jaw drop because they haven't seen me in a few months.

I have a lot to be grateful for this year, and I hope I never cease to remember that. I am truly blessed.

On call insomniac!

It's currently 5:27AM and I've been awake and up since 2:46AM. I have no idea why I woke up wide awake and couldn't go back to sleep! It always seems to happen when I'm on call...which would be when I probably should get as much sleep as I possibly can in case of transplant! At least I was productive this morning! I've put away all my suitcases and Christmas presents. I've also cleaned off most of the kitchen counters and scrubbed down the bathtub! CRAZINESS!

This past week has been one for the record books. I have been off since the 19th, which has been lovely. Sadly, I have to go back this morning and I have absolutely no desire to do so. Last weekend, I spent quality time with my sister and her husband after their long drive from Virginia. We went over to my grandma's house in Fort Worth and took her to lunch. Then we spent quality time in a thrift store looking for costumes for our family's pirate themed murder mystery dinner theater. I found some GREAT and cheap stuff!

Monday, Jen, Kim, and I went for pedicures and introduced Kim to sushi! Delicious! :) She's normally NOT a foodie, so we thought she was pretty brave. Of course, she didn't eat anything raw...and I doubt she ever will...but it was a good effort.

Tuesday. Bad day. Terrible, no good, horrific day. One of my sweet little patients is now safely in the arms of Jesus. Enough said. After the horrid morning, Kim, Evan, and I trekked down to Grandma's house in Wimberley for the Christmas festivities.

The rest of the week was filled with family fun and games. The only downer was that my dad was sick the entire weekend with what he thought was just tummy troubles. After taking himself to the ER on Saturday night, turns out he has kidney stones. OUCHIE! He's still in quite a bit of pain.

This week will hopefully go by quickly. I'm on call and my co-worker is out the whole week. It should be interesting!

I'm sure I'll do some touching "Adios to 2008" post at a later date....but you'll have to stay posted for that one!

Life aspirations!

Instructions:
Italicize all the things you've already accomplished in your life.
Bold the things you'd like to still be able to do!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Held a praying mantis
9. Climbed a mountain
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

Interesting. Is it just me or do most of my bolded items involve travel?

Picture tag!

Lisa tagged me...

Here's the deal:

1. Go to the place on your computer where you store all your pictures and open the 4th folder

2. Open the 4th picture.

3. Post the picture and give an explanation of what it is.

4. Tag 4 people.

DO NOT CHEAT!! You cannot edit or crop the picture!!






This is the post office in Vancouver. Of course, my picture wouldn't be interesting or anything. It would have been more fun if this picture was the one in the sauna...

I tag:
Dana
Kendi
Kris K
Becca

Have a wonderful night!

The nitty gritty truth

I stole this from a friend's blog. It's an article about being single. I think it's one of the best things I've read in awhile. I spent the evening with both single and married friends whom I've known for probably six years now? This group has had people marry, divorce, have babies, stay single...and yet we all still stay friends. I think this is very unusual, mostly because most of the time things get way different when people get married and move into that next phase of life.

Anyways, I really REALLY like this article. Enjoy.

What I'd like you to know: A Single Adult

The year I turned 30, my birthday happened to fall on Father’s Day. A few days before the combined event, I phoned my dad to tell him I wouldn’t make the three hour drive home to visit. I had just recently moved back to the city of my youthful stomping grounds after 3 years away, and I was the first of my friends to hit the big 3-0.

Dad graciously understood, and asked “So, how old are you this year?”

“Thirty.” I replied.

“Oh.” He sighed, and paused. “I never thought you would be an old maid.”

I know what you’re thinking. But coming from my dad, I wasn’t offended. I knew that in his generation, that was the plain truth. Moreover, I knew that he was really saying, “I can’t believe some man hasn’t snapped up my charming, smart and attractive daughter.”

Eight years later, I’m still not married, and still have no children. I am sure that many people I encounter see an old maid. Of course they don’t say it in as many words as my dad. They show it instead.

They show it when they say, “Not married? Oh, you must be picky.”

I hear it when others, incredulous, refuse to take it as fact. “Just kidding.” I want to say in such cases, “ I am married. Don’t worry. I’m normal.”

I think the inability to categorize me makes some people uncomfortable. If I were divorced, they could make sense of it. Were I a single mom, I’d find sympathy and compassion. But by admitting my single, never married, no-child status is akin to announcing there is something wrong with me. I’m reasonably attractive, funny and pass for intelligent, so people are only left to ponder my fatal flaws. Some people actually ask, “So what’s wrong with you?”

Our society sort of views marriage as a given. A rite of passage. When I read news accounts of a young woman or even a child who died tragically, her parents inevitably say “I’ll never walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. I’ll never hold her children.” It is assumed that everyone who was born will marry and have children. I assumed I would too. When it just doesn’t happen, knowing that it is expected of us only deepens the pain.

That is why it is so hurtful when it is suggested to a single person that they “must be picky.” As if we can just pick a guy and get married. After all, did you settle? Now you’re suggesting that you could have married just anyone. Would you have had as successful a marriage if you had ended up with one of your exes? As much as I long for marriage, I sure am glad I didn’t marry any of the men in my life so far.

That’s the trick about marriage as a goal. It’s not like learning to dance, or committing to losing weight. It doesn’t take will power to find a mate. It takes a mate. It takes a miracle. Oh, that I could just go to the store and pick one up!

True, single for some people is a choice. For those of us who truly desire marriage and children and family, it is not. Marriage is a vocation that two people agree to take on together. I can’t do it by myself. I learned, in just the last two months that I can’t make someone love me. No matter how much I love him, or how strong in faith he might be. Not even that our shared faith made us both stronger. No matter how happy we are together until all the Ifs and Buts step in.

And the simple fact of the matter is, I’ve never been asked.

That alone makes me question my womanhood and my desirability. It’s a very uncomfortable place. I am a woman who desperately desires motherhood. My clock is tocking not ticking. I am very aware that my best reproductive years are over.

What not to say

Please don’t remind a single woman that her chances for a healthy baby are diminishing every year she is over 30. But also, please do not try to encourage us with stories of women who successfully bore children well into their 50s. All of this is completely irrelevant to a woman without a husband or serious boyfriend.

While we’re on the topic, yes, I know adoption is an option. I am adopted myself and believe that adopted babies are indeed the best kind. If I were blessed with marriage, adoption would defiantly be a consideration. But adoption is as far out there as infertility treatments when there is no man in your life.

You’ll find him when you’re not looking

I’m never not looking. Yes, my life is full and happy. But I am a mother without a child. I am a wife without a husband. I want my other half. Think of the loss you would feel if your husband or child suddenly were not there. I feel, not daily, but often, that an important part of my life is missing.

And by the way… dating after age 30 is not fun. It is a chore, like scrubbing the bathtub but less rewarding. It’s hard to look forward to dinner and disappointment. I want to anticipate a nice evening, but this much experience has taught me what to look for in a man – and more often than not, it’s not there.

In the meantime, sometimes I just want to dote my pent-up motherhood on your kids. It’s probably terribly inappropriate, but I will snuggle your baby and sniff its’ head to soak up that sweet smell. I’ve been guilty of tickling and twirling a smiling baby until it spits up. Sorry. I will nosh on your toddlers’ chubby legs and lift his shirt to plant a raspberry, just so I can hear that throaty, from-the-gut baby giggle that makes my heart sing. If it’s no trouble, please just indulge me. (I promise not to do that to your husband.)

Seeing women my age or younger with kids in tow – can stir a pang of deep pain. I once called my church office to ask when Baptisms were scheduled, as I needed to avoid them. Second Sunday of the month, I would attend a different church just so I didn’t have to see the happy couples with their beautiful babies.

That’s another point. Church is no place for a single woman. Church is all about family. That’s why you see so few single adults there. It’s not that they no longer believe, the fact is they don’t feel welcome. When your pastor asks you reach out to share a blessing, do you turn to your family first? I stand there waiting for a hand to embrace.

I worry this writing might sound all bitter and lonely and sad. I am happy. I am blessed with an incredible network of friends. My family is amazing. I enjoy my single life to the best of my ability. People remind me that marriage is not easy. I remind them; neither is being single.

Oddly, Barb in last week’s post on Empty Nesting provided me a point to expound upon. She wrote:

“Life is a circle. You flow from one stage to the next. And with a little time, you become comfortable with the newest stage.” --Barb, A Chelsea Morning

For a perpetually single person, that’s not so. My life is a wandering squiggly line – darting in and out of other people’s circles. Everyone else is buzzing along on a predictable cycle but there is no circle of life in my world. There are no ‘stages’ for me to move through, save the aging process.

I am not Less Than

I realize I may sound contradictory – as I have already pointed out here that I feel a part of me is missing. But I am a whole person. Perhaps I have not yet realized that God intends for me to be alone, and that to Him I am complete and not in need of a husband. I’m still working on trusting God’s divine providence.

What I mean to emphasize is that you need not view me as pathetic and alone. I am not waiting for my life to begin. Marriage is not going to make my life worth living. My life is worthy now. I’m just a little lonely.

Invite me over to play with your kids while you tackle the laundry. Seriously.

Think about introducing me to someone. Don’t wait until you find the ‘perfect guy’ for me. It’s just nice to meet people. You never know who they might lead you to!

If you do make an introduction, don’t make a big fuss. Don’t tell either of us you’re setting it up. Just put us in the same room. If we’re interested, we’ll figure it out. But feel free to point out after the fact, that you introduced me to so-and-so if sparks did not fly.

Pray for single adults. There are ministries for single moms, working moms, elderly widows/widowers, and petitions for the sick. But when does society reach out to the single? Pray that your single friends might daily, feel the love of God and of their friends and neighbors in a tangible way.

Invite your single friends for a meal. We’ll help prepare. I attend my church’s weekly fish fry during Lent – even though I’m allergic to fish. My priest teased me until I explained at home, I have to eat alone.

Keep in touch with your single friends. They’re not out tearing it up and having orgies. We’re not out to steal your husband. Sometimes we just want to experience the hum of a household with a family. Look for things in common with single adults. We might not share your challenges, but we can still relate.


Completely loved this article. AMEN sister.

Guess I've been hiding!

Wow, I really haven't updated for awhile! Ah well, if something truly fabulous had happened, I probably would have gotten on here....so you can guess that nothing has! :)

The parade was SO MUCH FUN! I don't have any pictures of myself, still waiting for people to forward me their pictures. It was an amazing experience! I was able to get there much later than I usually do since I was a character! I put on my fabulous costume, and then felt HUGE! :) I guess I never realized how big those characters are meant to be. I had about a nectarine sized area I could see out of, which was completely freaky. Thankfully, the fabulous character escorts walked me out to the golf cart and then shoved me into the antique car. I know there was a child sitting next to me, but I couldn't tell you anything about them. I couldn't even SEE him! I sat waving for a solid hour, hearing children scream my character's name. I didn't even know anyone knew him! After the parade was over, I was thankful to get back to the safe area so I could rip that stupid character head off! Not being able to talk for all that time was torture.

This week really flew by! I had two sweet babies that I had to do all their transplant teaching this week. It's always more fun when it's not in English. Their going home makes my clinic more crazy. That's okay. I love when babies get new hearts, even if it makes more work for me.

Today I finished a 26 day streak on call. AWFUL! I've been on call since November 17th, but it's all good now...because I'm DONE! I will not be sleeping with any phones next to my bed, and hopefully, I'll sleep better. I've been having headaches this week, and I think it's because I don't sleep well.

Tomorrow, I'm hopefully going to do some Christmas shopping. I need to mail a few, and it's starting to get late in the month. I'm normally good and have at least the majority by now, but not so much this year.

Okay. Liberty and I are going to attempt to stay warm. I think it's only in the 40's here today! :)

I DID IT! :)

After three years of slaving away as a character escort at the Neiman Adolphus Children's Christmas parade, I am finally going to be an actual character! I get to be in the parade, too! :) I'm so excited! The costume will be SO hot and stinky, but I'll get to be in the action!

I'm going to be "Puddle", who is a pig from the apparently famous duo "Toot and Puddle". I've never been small enough to wear the costumes before and it's kinda surreal that I get to actually do it this year! I feel snazzy!

Here's a picture. Puddle is the one in overalls...



Tonight, I came home from the character meeting to find NO POWER in my house. Lovely. Apparently, the electric company has been sending notices to my OLD apartment. I guess I just paid the bills as they came in and didn't notice there wasn't one from them! Anyways, I'm using my computer on batteries and I tapped in to someone's unsecured network (I know, not smart!) so I could post this. Guess I should go save my battery now. I'm sure the electric company will love hearing from me at exactly 7:30AM when they open. I pity that poor customer service rep.

Have a great day!

Angry at the blog.

I've now spent an hour of my life attempting to put a new template on my blog...and not one of these horridly ugly blogger ones! I've struck out!

Stupid thing even erased all my blogs that I follow...so if you don't see your blog in my list, remind me to add it!

Does ANYONE know how to put fun templates on? I'm so frustrated!

Fighting off the usual

It wouldn't be a fall/winter season if I didn't get sick at least once! More specifically, if I didn't get pneumonia and spend several days miserable and hacking! It came a little early this year seeing as it likes to come around February, but maybe this means I'll be free for the rest of the winter? One can hope. I started feeling the asthma act up last week and my doctor called me in the steroid pack for weenies. I felt better, but starting Saturday, felt the crud coming on again and worse. This time, it came with fever! Delightful!

I ended up going to the doctor on Monday who listened to my lungs and found some nice "dense" areas and started me on antibiotics and the "BIG GUNS" steroids. If you know me and have been reading for any amount of time, you know this is BAD news for my psyche. Steroid rages are pretty bad for me...ranging from insane emotional highs and lows, hot flashes, insomnia, and insane eating needs. Three hours after taking my first dose, I had already yelled at Liberty for sitting too close to me and then cried about it because I felt like a horrible mom. Welcome to my dramatic steroid world. Since then, I've mostly just had the hot flashes and insomnia, because let's be honest, I RARELY get hungry. If I do, it's most likely because I haven't eaten all day...which really isn't a good thing for me to attempt!

I feel SO much better now. I've still got the lovely cough, but that will be around for awhile.

Tomorrow I am headed to my grandma's house in Fort Worth for Thanksgiving goodies! It should be quite interesting to see what I'm able to eat. I'll probably try and steer away from poultry (stupid aversion!), but I don't CARE what it does to Betty...I WILL be having some of my mother's dressing. YUM. I won't be eating dessert, so it will all even out! :) Friday...shopping! Can't WAIT to see the ads in the paper tomorrow and plan out my attack.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving weekend!

Another jet setting experience...

I think my travel days are numbered for the time being! I went to Houston on Thursday afternoon for a conference on pediatric mechanical hearts. This company paid for all of us to attend a day of lectures and a fancy dinner! Guess I wasn't gonna say no to that! They flew me to Houston, picked me up in a LIMO (where I actually had a driver carrying a sign with my name on it!), and took me to the Woodlands Resort and Conference Center. It was really a nice place, very rustic and woodsy....hence being in the WOODlands! :) They did a really nice dinner (crab AND filet mignon! YUM!) and sent us off to bed. I got up early the next morning and spent the day with my favorite surgeon in lectures. Yippee. She and I ended up on the same flight home yesterday. It was a REALLY quick trip!

After I got home, I grabbed the puppies and we went to Michael and Jennifer's house. The pups played with their cousins whilst the three of us went to dinner. After dinner, we stopped by my friend's house to see the puppy she was puppy sitting. Of course, the fact that it was a DOXIE pup didn't hurt at ALL! Such a cute little thing! It made me remember how small Liberty was when I brought her home. Oliver was small too, but never that small!

Today, I haven't done much. I did go grocery shopping, got my mail, and the Sears guy came and fixed my washing machine. I did have the attempt to be productive and changed my sheets...and then Oliver promptly threw up on them. Lovely. I have yet to replace the sheet.

Can you EVEN believe that Thanksgiving is next Thursday? It should be an interesting one...especially since it will be the first one where I haven't seen either of my siblings for the day. It's okay...I get to have them BOTH at Christmas, which will be just DANDY!

After next week, it all goes CRAZY from there...like it does every year! I'm going to be in the Children's Christmas Parade again, but I'm not sure exactly as what! Since I'm shrinking, I did tell the guy I would be an actual character this year, instead of just the person who leads them around! I don't know if I'll actually get to do it, but I will still be a character escort if they need me to! It will be my fourth year to do it. I've already found out that one of my FAVORITE transplant patients was asked to be in it this year, so I know I'll get to see her!

Okay, enough rambling. Keep my pitiful lungs in your prayers...the weather changes are creating havoc on their wee frailness. I've already done steroid run last week, and I think I might be headed towards another one if I can't get my lungs to open. Right now, I'm just doing a bunch of dry hacking. It's so attractive. :)

Happy weekend!

St. Louis adventures!

I am happily home! I spent the weekend in St. Louis at a transplant certification review course...whoopee! :) I hope to be taking this test in the next few months and I think the course was good for me...at least one would hope!

I flew in Friday night in some sort of winter freeze watch. It was delightful! Thankfully, it was only rain, not ice! I got to the hotel, only to find out that my room had been switched to two doubles. Why do I need two beds? I called to see if there was a king bed room available, but only smoking rooms were free. ICK! I resigned myself to the fact that I would just pick a bed. The front desk guy called a few minutes later and said he had a new room for me! I went and got my new key...to my SUITE! Wow! Apparently, the front desk guy felt sorry for me and gave me a bigger room! How delightful! I dragged my stuff all over the hotel, but in the end, it was worth it! I ate dinner and went to bed LATE...which was stupid because I had to be up early the next day!

Saturday, I had the class ALL DAY. Yawn. There were some parts that I was exceptionally bored, but some of the classes were quite good. That night, Jennifer came and picked me up! She was in St. Louis visiting her family and busted me out of the hotel for the night! I ate dinner with them, then she and her brother and I watched movies the rest of the night until I had to go back to the hotel. The only thing that was crazy was I had the WORST stomach issues I ever have had...not quite sure yet what caused it, but I think it might have been some ranch dressing. Angry Betty!

Today, I tried to sleep late, but I couldn't. Sadness :( I got on the plane, got back to Dallas earlier than I thought, picked up Lib, and came home. Now I'm getting ready for bed, sad at the thought of going back on call tomorrow after three weeks of being free. I have another trip this weekend...which is just seeming to be typical after two weekends in a row of travel. I'm going to Houston for a ventricular assist device seminar. Thankfully, I am only gone Thursday night and part of Friday. I do get to stay in some fancy "Woodlands Resort"...so that should be interesting. I'm probably going to be happy to not go anywhere for awhile after that.

I'm so addicted to Food Network. It's just sad. If I was a housewife, this channel would be so bad for me. I'd probably spend the entire day watching it, and when I wasn't watching it, I'd be realizing how UN-food networky I am. It's all good...some people can cook, some can not. I will gladly say that I am in the "not" category. I DID make some fabulous green vegetable curry tonight! It tastes REALLY good and I'm excited to have it for the next five meals! I split it up into wee containers so I have portion control...not that this is an issue! Last week, I made my mother's modified "porcupine meatball" recipe. YUM-O! (Oh dear, another Food Network reference!) I used ground buffalo, cream of mushroom soup, and water chestnuts instad of rice. I have one tiny container left and it is DELIGHTFUL!

Okay. Guess I should head to bed. I'd like to be able to take a day off this week because I had today off, but I don't think that's gonna happen. I hope your week is wonderful!

Wedding weekend!

I was in a wedding this weekend for my beautiful friend Trena! She and I went to Honduras together this past February and she works in the Cardiac ICU. She always ends up taking care of my sweet transplant babies!



The bridesmaids and Trena the night before...at "Prime Cut Steakhouse". This was before the wild country dancing broke out...you can be assured I was sitting and hiding during that!


Crazy candid of me!



>
My friend Amanda and I. Amanda and I lived in the same apt complex until she bought a house and I moved here. She, Trena, and I all went to Honduras!


Trena and I!

She got married in Nocona, Texas on a ranch...so far out in the country! Let's just say that a donkey (yes, there actually was one!) started braying in the middle of the vows! SO hilarious!

This week has been busy already, but isn't that normal for me? One of my sweet kids is getting a heart today! SO precious! That will make the rest of the week exciting! I've also got plans to go to St. Louis on Friday for a review course for my transplant certification test. Ironically, my sister in law, Jennifer, who is FROM there, will be there this weekend too! CRAZY! I think she has taken pity on me and is going to come get me from the FABULOUS St. Louis Airport Hilton on Saturday night so I don't have to be bored in the room!

Ah well, it wouldn't be my life if it wasn't busy, right? Hope your week is going well!

A funny LU memory...

I think I was in "Introduction to Philosophy". It was my first experience in a Dr Batts class. For those of you who attended LU, you know all about the CRAZINESS of a Batts class. The man LOVES memorization. His tests are like 10 pages long, single spaced, 12 pt font...all complete regurgitation. Yes, there are essays involved, but 85% of the test requires you to spit out everything he's talked about for the last month or so.

It was a jolly October 31st...Halloween to everyone in the class, except Dr Batts. He walked in wearing his graduation robes (which are more hilarious than any other professors...mostly because his mortar board is all poofy and not flat), proclaimed it "Reformation Day", and then gave us a talk on Martin Luther and the hanging of the 95 Theses on a church. He then passed out copies of "A Mighty Fortress is our God" and made us sing.

I don't remember one single thing about philosophy, but I will always remember that October 31st is also Reformation Day. Thanks Dr Batts!

500th post!

Huh. Apparently, I've been under the impression 500 times that people want to read my ramblings! Ah well, if they didn't, why do they keep coming back? These are the questions!

On to the delightfulness of the week! Right now, I'm sitting in Michael and Jennifer's house, bundled up in a blanket and surrounded by four happy puppies. Liberty is buried under the blanket, smushed up right next to my leg. Oliver is on my right side, happily shredding a tennis ball. Every once in awhile, he puts his head up and chews the ball in the air. He's SO bizarre. Sam, the older and wiser terrier, is carefully watching for Oliver to look away so he can steal the tennis ball. Max, the younger and fatter terrier (I call him whale baby), has left the pile o' puppies to go investigate why the living room curtains just fell down. It's most likely because Oliver just threw himself into the window whilst chasing the aformentioned shredded tennis ball.

Michael and Jennifer are off cruising the Carribean this week....and I am here holding down the fort in the freezing weather. Okay, for you east coast readers, it's not really cold...but it's cold for a Texas October! It's supposed to get down towards freezing tonight. Thank goodness for heaters! And warm dogs to sleep in the bed with me! Anyways, I decided it was better for my sanity to bring Lib and Ollie here to play in the yard, rather than bring the other two to the apartment. So far, it's a wise choice. The pups LOVE the yard and Oliver gets to kick squirrel butt on a daily basis.

**Update** Oliver has grown tired of shredding yellow fuzz all about and is now content to lay with the ball. Max has come to sit on my left side. Now I'm definitely not cold.

I planned a vacation this week! I'm SO SO SO excited! On April 25th, I will be flying to Ft. Lauderdale and going on a CRUISE! I've been excited to go on another one since I got back from my last one, almost four years ago. Now I just have to start the saving. I figure that Betty will need a one year anniversary present!

Okay, guess i should go dig up the warm blankets. I have no warm clothes that fit, so I have to layer up with blankets. Sadly, I'm not supposed to be bundled up at work...so I spend the day in a fleece jacket, which is OH so unprofessional. Ah well...guess I'm gonna have to break down and go find warm clothes at Goodwill or Salvation Army! Maybe I can afford that.

Anyways...much love from the herd here! Stay warm!

Why did the chicken....?

Okay, I stole this from my friend Chris (thanks!), mostly because I couldn't stop laughing! It doesn't matter who you've decided to vote for...this makes fun of everyone! Hilarious!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart- warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Recovering!

WOWSERS. What a 72 hours I have had!

Thursday was Boss Day. I got up nice and early to make a delightful breakfast casserole for the brunch we were having. While it was cooking, I decided to take the dogs out. I came back into the house to hear my phone ringing. It was my co-worker...which was odd because she was supposed to be off the next two days. When I called her back, she told me there was a really good heart offer for one of our kiddos. She was off and wanted to know if I would take care of the transplant. I'm sure she'd say now that she "offered" to come in, but it was one of those half hearted pathetic offers. She was technically on call, and if I had known what was to happen, I would have let her. This transplant was going to be extremely high risk and I was NOT excited about doing it.

I spent the day on the phone with pretty much what seemed like the entire world. I got the transplant set up and we headed to the operating room at 8PM. God was truly watching out for this precious little one because all the bad and horrid things that could have happened didn't! About 3/4 of the way through the transplant, we got an offer for one of our kids that's been waiting about 5 months at the top of the list. It was a GREAT heart, so we accepted that one too! Our first kiddo came out of the OR about 4:30AM and the next one went in at 9AM. I didn't have time to get a nap or anything because there was a bunch of drama with the donor hospital for the 2nd heart. Thankfully, I had some buddies in the OR for the 2nd one, so I at least had someone to speak to! We got out of the OR at 8:30PM and I FINALLY headed home. My puppies were so happy to see me!

It was 38 hours without sleep, but TWO sweet kids got new hearts in less than 24 hours! Last time I checked, they were both doing amazingly well!

Needless to say, I am exhausted. I slept 11 hours last night and 3 more this afternoon. My entire body hurts, but hopefully it will feel better with more sleep.

Off to bed....hooray!

And it beats on...

What beats on? Well, hopefully my heart does! :)

This week has been busy, but I guess that's a good thing. We haven't done any transplants at work, but then again, I'm not currently on call. I go back on call Friday morning. Until then, I'll happily sleep without the host of phones and pagers on my nightstand. I'm alone the rest of the week, so I'm sure there will be about fifteen kids who need stuff ALL at the same time! Most of the time, I prefer to be alone instead of dealing with the daily drama! Today, I went to lunch with my favorite surgeon, which was a nice break in the middle of the clinic day madness!

The weather is AMAZING! I don't particularly care for the rain, but the fact that it is bringing cooler temperatures is phenomenal! It's so wonderful to go to sleep hearing the fountain outside and bundling up in my duvet for warmth! It's surprising I'm still cold, with all the dogs in my bed!

I got offered a new job this week! The director of the transplant program offered me the nurse manager position. When I got my bachelor's in nursing, I didn't ever intend to use it for management...it's just not my style. I absolutely love the interaction with the patients and their families and I'm not ready to give that up. Once I mentioned the offer to one of my cardiologists and my surgeon, I was told that I will NOT be abandoning them for management. It's nice to feel needed and loved! I am extremely flattered, and told my director "thanks, but no thanks". He completely understood and said I was the only person in the department he offered it to. Guess that means I have the management skills, even if I don't want to use them right now.

I'm currently cooking (yes, GASP!) something for the Boss day brunch tomorrow. I'm attempting to get as much of it ready tonight in order to just throw it together tomorrow morning and climb right back into my little bed whilst it cooks. So far, I've cooked bacon and sauteed green peppers and onions. I have SKILLS! :) Since the brunch starts at 9AM, I'm just gonna go in a little late so it can stay nice and warm, right out of the happy oven. It's nice to live so close to work!

I also have to leave early tomorrow for a stupid nerve test on my legs. Remember the jelly legs? Yep, they are STILL around...although not as bad as they were. What really worries me now is that I have strips of numbness and I don't understand why I'm still weak. Today, while taking the puppies outside, I completely missed a step and fell flat on my face....so attractive! I almost drove myself to ER on account of the swollen wrist, but hopefully the swelling will go down and I'll have just sprained it nicely. I am such a klutz.

Last night, my aunt and I went out to dinner at the Four Seasons! WOW was that an experience! I never get to go to those kinds of places, but we decided to just do an appetizer meal. We had divine seared ahi and some lobster yumminess. I also had a glass of phenomenal red wine. I have to be SO careful with wine...one sip too many and I'm pretty much ready to make inappropriate choices! Guess that's my reason not to drink at all! :)

Okay, enough rambling. Better go finish prepping my breakfast casserole! :)

Seriously?

Not to steal a line from one of my all time favorite shows, Grey's Anatomy....but SERIOUSLY? Is it even possible? Are people really REALLY that afraid to say what they are feeling that they have to rely on excuses? What the heck? I nearly ALWAYS say exactly what I am thinking...or at least I try to. This is ridiculous.

Cryptic, huh? :)

A blessing

Today, I went to a family reunion. It was for my great grandma's (on my mother's side) family. This reunion takes place every year, but we usually don't go. This year, I kept getting the pressure from EVERYONE to go! I couldn't figure out why this year was something special!

If you have spent any time with my family, you know that my mother has three sisters that are just as crazy as she is....and as I am, I guess! One of my aunts has been separated from us for quite some time. In fact, the last time all four girls were together was my grandpa's funeral in 1996. Thankfully, this aunt decided to come back to the family reunion and see everyone! It was amazing to see her...and I completely think it was one of the hardest things to do after being gone for so many years! Hooray for her! I hope she continues to stay involved.

I had a great time with my crazy family, as always. I continue to be blown away by people who don't have the great relationship with their families as I do with mine. Even though we were just together for a few hours, I think it was absolutely worth it!

Yesterday, I went to the FAIR! Oh, it's Fair time again! Michael, Jennifer, and I tried a host of fair foods....from Chicken Fried Bacon...to corn dogs (always yum!)...and my favorite....deep fried grilled cheese! Delightful! I only did one or two bites of the food, and my stomach grumbled a bit, but no disasterous results! I don't like to tempt fate with the stomach, but I figured it was the fair, and NOT something I plan on duplicating on a daily basis.

Tomorrow...back to work...ALONE! :) I'm alone at work for the first three days, so it should be quite interesting...as always. It's either feast or famine...part of me hopes for famine! :)

Ok. Must do laundry. ICK!

The big one!

Guess you've figured out how much weight I've lost in the last five months! INSANITY!

Back from vacation!

Sadly, I've returned from my fabulous vacation! Even though I had one less day in the Pacific Northwest, I still had an amazing adventure! I walked SO much in those six days! Here's a run-down of my experiences!

Sunday-Up bright and early. My wonderful brother took me to the airport before the sun came up. My flight was uneventful, thankfully! A short layover in New Mexico...then on to Seattle! Tammy and her mom (who was visiting too!) picked me up at the airport and we headed off on a waterfall discovery adventure. We went to three different waterfalls and hiked A LOT! Remember, I still have jelly legs! :) I actually was pretty impressed with myself! We wandered home, through the gorgeous mountain ranges!

Monday-my birthday! Happy 31 to me! We took Tam's mom to the airport and went off to a Seattle landmark...the Pike's street market! The fish throwers were there in full force, throwing giant salmon and halibuts! Hilarious! I absolutely salivated over all the fresh produce and flowers for sale, sadly wishing it could come home with me! We ate lunch at a great crab house right on the water...clams and mussels! YUM! We got pedicures, relaxed for awhile, and then headed out for dinner. Dinner was a great seafood restaurant on the lake. It gets about 20 kinds of fresh, never frozen seafood daily! I had some delighful ahi and my first experience with wine. Let's just say, I'm pretty fun after MUCH less than I used to be! Thankfully, the cowboy game was on and I was able to cheer happily and without reservation! No eagles fans in the whole place!

Tuesday-Space Needle! We walked over to the Seattle Center (the site of the Seattle world's fair!) and I did my most touristy adventure 600 feet up to the top of the needle. It was an absolutely beautiful day and my pictures turned out GREAT! We walked around the Seattle Center for a while after that and had a great picnic lunch sitting by this enormous fountain. All the water was choreographed to music and it was a great thing to watch! We were in the hot (hot for Seattle!) sunshine, and I actually got a sunburn! Go me! Afterwards, we walked back to Tam's apartment and went to see The Women...cute, but at times depressing!

Wednesday-off to Canada! We headed out in the morning, the first gray day outside since I'd come to Seattle! Crossing the border was only about a 5 minute adventure! Hooray for us! Guess I didn't look threatening. We made it to our hotel about oneish. The nice people let us check in early! We walked to Yaletown, a big restaurant district, to find some lunch. Afterwards, we walked around to get our bearings and find some tourist information. We ended up finding out about a bus that had 23 stops throughout the city. There was an additional pass that included five of the biggest Vancouver attractions. We decided that was the best plan and went to bed kinda early to prepare for the busy day!

Thursday-the walking begins! We caught the bus around 9:30 and headed off to the Vancouver lookout...basically the equivalent of the Space Needle. Afterwards, we headed to Stanley Park, a 1000acre park at the tip of downtown. It's absolutely beautiful! It houses the Vancouver Aquarium, home to a three month old baby beluga whale! They also have some dolphins, sharks, turtles, sea otters, sea lions, and lots of fish...but the highlight was the precious beluga! They have an outside viewing area and an underwater viewing area as well. After we were done at the aquarium, we decided to walk to the IMAX instead of riding the bus because brilliant Stephanie thought it was at 5pm. We HAULED across the city only to find out that the next show was at 6, and it wasn't even the one we wanted to see! We ended up going to a pub for some dinner and waiting until 7 for the 3D IMAX. Afterwards, we took a cab home because we were exhausted and tired of walking!

Friday-the adventure ends. We got up early again, but the buses were running WAY late! I think it was almost 45 minutes off schedule! We went first to Chinatown to the Classical Chinese Gardens. It was very pretty, but not something I would have paid extra for. Afterwards, we rode the bus back to our hotel, stopping along the way to grab some food at a great French restaurant. We headed off to the Capilano Suspension Bridge in North Vancouver. It was CRAZY! The bridge never stops moving! The gorge is wide enough to let two 747's side by side through the ravine without touching wing tips! Nuts! On the other side of the canyon, there was lots of hiking and roaming around. After spending about three hours there, we were pretty exhausted and decided to head back to Seattle. We got in the car at 5pm. By 6, we were on the other side of Vancouver. At 6:46PM, we got to the US/Canadian border. At 9:20, we were finally into the USA! Two and a half hours to get across the border is RIDICULOUS! We got back to Seattle about 11PM. I think I completely collapsed into the bed at that point!

Saturday-flying home. Not much to do...except get on the plane. My flight home was uneventful. Michael picked me up at the airport, with Liberty in tow. I slept in my own bed!

There's my trip in a nutshell! Well, I'm pretty verbose, so I guess not QUITE a nutshell! I posted a whole bunch of pictures on Facebook, but if you don't have access to that, here's the link to the album.

http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=31226&l=98395&id=777629419

I go back to work tomorrow, not happily at ALL. I'd much rather stay off work for another week. Thanks for reading!

Impact of Ike

My parents live outside Houston, off I-45, about 45 minutes from Galveston. Even though both of them had off work since Thursday, they decided to stay and weather the storm and protect their turf. I talked to them several times yesterday, the last time being about 9pm, when the wind had gotten too strong for Jack to go outside anymore.

I also talked to them this morning, after the storm had passed through. They currently have no power (lost it about 2AM), have no fence, and have tons of tree branches EVERYWHERE! They have some water damage in one of the bathrooms and their street is flooded...but they are safe and alive! They have food and water, and thankfully, their cellphones both still work! My dad has wired one of the TV's to a car battery so they can keep up with what's going on around town. Jack's mad because he can't roam the backyard freely.

I should have been in Seattle already, but Southwest Airlines got freaked out and cancelled a lot of flights this morning. The weather here in Dallas is just now starting to get interesting, but they claim "dangerous crosswinds" as their cancellation reason. Originally, they closed the airport until Monday morning. I had to reschedule my trip until then, and was quite angry about it. Once we heard the majority of the storm was going to miss Dallas, I started calling Southwest hourly to see if I could get out earlier than Monday. The first few times, I was still told the airport was closed until Monday. FINALLY, I was told that they had openings on a flight tomorrow, so I begged and pleaded! Normally, you're only supposed to have one switch for free, but I threw out the "Monday's my birthday" card, and was able to convince them! SO, tomorrow morning, I'll fly out, only losing 24 hours of my vacation!

Liberty is lounging around, getting freaked out by the wind noises in the hallway. I guess having a day to relax on this side of the trip probably isn't such a bad idea...it gives me a chance to pack smartly, instead of throwing crap in a bag...which was the plan!

So, if you think about it today, please say a prayer for my parents and their lack of power...and all the other families in Houston/Galveston who are experiencing loss today.

SO SO ready!

I am going on vacation in TWO days. I am so excited I almost can't see straight! I haven't been on a true vacation in over two years. Being off for surgery doesn't count. Going to Honduras for paid slave labor doesn't count. This is a true, I'm not gonna think about the hospital vacation!

My friend Tammy is a travel nurse. She roams around the country in fabulous exotic places, doing fabulous nursing things. Right now, she's in Seattle...which is a place I've never been! I decided that I needed to go visit her while she's in one of these fabulous places that I haven't been! I leave on Saturday and return the following Saturday. I'm actually going to be there for my birthday, so that should be fun! During the time I'm there, we're also going to go up to Vancouver, which I hear is beautiful! Exciting!

Work has been crazy, life here at the house has been crazy. Too much craziness! I'm ready to be on vacation and not think about it! I've been on a lot of call recently with very little sleep...which is not my favorite thing. If I am gonna not have sleep, I'd rather be having fun instead of being tortured at work! As long as I can go through tomorrow morning at 7AM, I'm FREE! Whoo hoo! :)

The klutz returns...

I am RETARDED. I think if I went back and looked at how many of my blog entries involve me falling down and/or injuring myself, I'd be amazed. Today was no exception. I went to my "old" apartment to finish getting some boxes out of the garage. While carrying one box to my car, I completely tripped over a concrete bar on the floor of the garage and decided to say hello to the concrete! Aside from a skinned knee, elbow, and bruised hip, I've survived unscathed! :)

I laugh at myself when this kind of stuff happens because I am ALWAYS on my mother to be careful. I don't let her get on ladders or ride scooters...because she's accident prone. I'm beginning to think that the older I get, the more I become like her, in more ways than one! Thankfully, I still have some meds from my surgery left over, so I was able to help the pain go away. It stinks not being able to take ibuprofen! ARG!

This week, I have found a new food to love. I've become addicted to Morningstar farms Asian Veggie Patties. They are divine. I've only really liked meatless patties and things for the last few years. Sometimes, they are too full of rice and other fillers. These patties are almost all veggies...carrots, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots....YUM! It's still so wonderful to be able to actually EAT and not get sick! I think the hardest part of this journey is still waiting a 1/2 hour to be able to drink after I eat! Ah well, I'm starting to get used to it.

Okay, it's Saturday afternoon, and I am going to NAP. I'm very VERY excited about this. Perhaps it's the meds making me slightly sleepy...but I care not. This week has been BUSY with lots of late nights...and now I get to sleep! :)

My new apartment!

Here are some pictures of the new place!!