It's WAY too hot!

I wish that it wasn't a blazing inferno in May. I realize we've been spared from the horrid temperatures for a year or so. Last summer was not bad at all...but this spring/summer is already torture. Why, oh WHY does it have to be hitting almost 100 with 100% humidity? It's just RUDE!

I learned yesterday that my 4 week post op self can NOT handle the heat. Let's just say fainting episodes were involved. NOT fun.

Yesterday, we had the 20th anniversary Children's heart transplant picnic. It was SO much fun! We had a bounce house, a DJ, TONS of food, and probably about 250 people! It was at a really beautiful park with a huge wooden play area for the kids, and a pavilion for all us weenies who need shade. I was there about 5 hours and stayed in the shade probably 4.75 of those hours...and still got sick. I even drank water all day long! So frustrating. Other than my episode, which thankfully occurred near the end when most of the people had gone, I had a wonderful time! I got to play with my kiddos in an atmosphere that isn't the hospital. I got led around by a 3 year old who was screetching "Miss Stephanie! Let's go BOUNCE!!!" and "Miss Stephanie! We need to color on the ground!". So fun! I have so many great families who were able to come! It was a great party! We were even on the news!

After the party, Michael, Jen, and I (plus all our pups) went to my grandma's in Fort Worth to eat dinner with her and my parents. It was nice to be in an air conditioned house! I was supposed to go to Scarborough Faire with Michael and Jennifer today, but the heat was not going to permit that. Liberty and I will busy ourselves with cleaning the house instead. Tonight, I'm going to dinner with friends...so that will be tons of fun!

I don't go back to work until Wednesday, so I'll have to postpone my weigh in until then. Hooray for time off!

Hooray!

Three more pounds! I am in shock! I need to take some 1 month pictures...

Keep your eyes on the ticker in the top right hand corner to keep eyes on my progress!

The love of friends

In the grand scheme of things, I am a very blessed woman. God has given me a multitude of people whom I can tell my troubles and share my happiness. These people have seen me through thick and thin, bad and good, happy and sad. Some of these people haven't been directly involved in my life for some time, but I know they are there and if I needed them, they'd absolutely support me.

Back in 2003, I started going to a new church with an amazing singles group, Ironically, most of the people in that group are no longer single, but we still get together a couple of times a year. We play games, eat, celebrate milestones, and do a lot of talking! If I need these people, they would absolutely jump in to help me at a moments notice. Five years have passed, but I still consider them some of my closest friends. It always makes me happy when there's an event involving them! Tonight we got together for a BBQ and sat outside talking in the absolutely beautiful weather! Of course, my idea of BBQ was 1/4 of a hamburger patty and four pickles! I made potato salad to take with me, one of my favorite recipes from my mother, and I didn't even miss eating it! The group even had margaritas and I sat there and just happily drank my water. It's odd how my tastes have changed in just a month.

I have decided to weigh myself every Monday on the scale at work. Last week, I'd lost 3 more pounds for a total of 27. I'm interested to see what the scale tells me!

Health wise, I'm doing okay. My endurance is getting better every day! I'm still tired at the end of the day, but I seem to be able to push through. A couple of days last week, I did feel the need to nap once I got home from work, but power naps seem to help! I'm really going to work this week at getting in some exercise, which I know will eventually help my energy level. One big piece of news is my pain is finally gone! I occasionally have "pouch issues"...like if I drink water too fast, or take that one extra bite when I feel full, but the abdominal pain from the actual surgery is gone! I wanted to wait until it was gone so I could exercise without the added issue of muscle pain!

Hope your weekend is wonderful!

Still recovering...

I'm not gonna lie...it's been a really HARD week. I went back to work last Monday to the happiness of my co-workers. I've really never felt so much love from a group of people I worked with! Everyone was SO sweet to me and wanted to know how I was feeling. I got a lot of compliments...and it was easy to see why when I got dressed that morning in my normal work clothes and realized they were falling off! When I got on the scale, I learned that I was down a total of 24lbs in 3 weeks! How nuts is that?

Starting on Tuesday, I was by myself doing both the inpatient and the outpatient. I really wasn't that busy, but my body was absolutely not prepared for the stress of doing all that work on my own. By Thursday, two of my closest doctor friends were asking me if I felt alright because I did not look right. I had stopped being able to sleep all the way through the night. I was completely overtired and had no energy. Thankfully, I work with great people who were absolutely willing to work with me, and in some cases, yell at me to go home!

I spent the weekend sleeping. Thankfully, I was able to sleep uninterrupted....for the first time in three or four days. Of course, I was still on call, but my sleep was only interrupted once and it wasn't for a heart we were going to take.

I went to work today, excited and nervous to weigh in. I started eating solid foods this week and the big girl inside me was just convinced I wasn't going to lose anything. I was wrong. I lost another 3 pounds! WOW!

Not much exciting going on this week. I'm still trying to recover after pushing myself too hard this week. I just have a feeling we're going to transplant soon...we've got two sweet kiddos who need hearts badly.

Well, I've just become very angry at the TV...so I guess I should turn it off and go to bed. Bed is the best thing right now. Have a great week.

Back to the land of the living...

Tomorrow I go back to work. I am excited to see my friends and sweet patients...but not excited to be back working. I worry that I'm going to overdo it and end up having to take more days off...which I can't afford to do. My lovely and ever-so-thoughtful co-worker decided she would take off Tuesday through the following Sunday. This worries me because what if I have to leave at the half day mark because I'm just TOO tired and hurting to finish? I'm also going to be on donor call...which is just too thrilling for words. Oh well...if she's going to be petty, then I'll just ignore the pettyness and do my job to the absolute best of my ability...like I always do.

As far as my recovery goes, I am feeling better every day. I still tire out pretty easily, but it's getting better as long as I don't push myself. I can sleep in any position I want to, which is SO much better than on my back! I'm not taking my pain meds during the day, and only occasionally at night. I'm actually getting all my protein in after many MANY different protein combinations! I go back to the doctor on Tuesday for my 2 week check up, and I think he'll be pleased! I'm hoping he says I can start a "mild" exercise program. I tried last week and ended up hurting and my abdomen HATED it! I was told to hold off until I talked to the doctor!

Tomorrow, I will weigh myself for the first time in 2 weeks...and we'll see. I think some of my clothes feel more loose...but I won't believe until I see the number on that scale! :)

I am so glad I took the 2nd week off...I think I needed it to feel alive again! Keep me in your prayers as I try to make it through what will most likely be a busy work week as I'm trying to get back into the groove and I'm doing it alone. Hope your week is wondeful too!

Protein fun!

Today has been a productive day! I was told to begin my MEGA protein intake 1 week after my surgery...well, that would be today! I can not even believe that I am already one week post op! Craziness! Anyways, I started the protein adventure today. Before surgery, I had bought protein powder to make shakes because I knew I would not be eating enough food to even come close to my 60-75mg of daily requirement. I didn't open it or smell it because I was told that there was a great possibility that something I liked beforehand, I would be disgusted by afterwards. I opened the container today to make my first shake. My first mistake would be that I used the blender. This produced a disgusting whipped sensation. My pouch hates things that are full of air...so whipped protein goo did NOT agree with it. I decided to persevere because after all, this protein powder came from Walmart! I tried it again without the blender, just mixing it with water. This fared slighly better, but still tasted not so grand. I finished it (cause I didn't want to waste!) so I could get that 23g of protein in, but decided that until I can drink 6-8oz of milk, this powder is not going to work for me. Mixing it with water is disgusting. So, the only other solution was to reach out to the GB message board, which has become so helpful the last week, for a solution. One person recommended these 3oz protein bullets. They have 42g of protein! YIKES! They come in multiple flavors and are sold at GNC. I bought a few at GNC today and am loving them already! These are really going to be helpful until I can get to the milk drinking point.

Other than that, I've walked to the mailbox (yes, I can hear the sarcastic ooh's and aah's), read a book, and written this blog! Pretty good for someone who had abdominal surgery a week ago! I am very surprised how good I feel. I did not expect that! My purpose this week is to get my endurance up to work a full day. Next week should be interesting. Not only am I getting thrown back into work, but I'll also be on donor call too...what a welcome! It will be SO much fun getting my fluids in if I'm in a transplant! :)

Okay. I think I've probably bored you enough with my protein fiasco. Enjoy your day! It's BEAUTIFUL here! :)

Recovery

Things here in the recovery ward are going quite well. I am still very exhausted most of the time, but I am able to drink more and more each day and I feel less sore as the days go by! I am still only able to drink about 40oz a day, which doesn't seem like much compared to what I used to be able to put away! I am doing my very best to stay hydrated, which is pretty much the only goal of the 1st week! Next week, I'll start my protein extravaganza. I have to have 60-75 grams of protein every day! YIKES! It's too bad they don't make a shot for that. I'd invest in that one, if I could!

Mom left this morning, much to the sadness of Liberty, who proceeded to cry at the door for 1/2 an hour. She's already safe at home and that makes me sad, although I didn't choose to weep at the door like my dog! I am SO very thankful she was here, I would NEVER have been able to go through the week without her!

I'm off to watching a Jane Austen fest this afternoon. I have Sense and Sensibility, Becoming Jane, and The Jane Austen Book Club. I'm excited! :)

I'm home!

I left my house at 4:30am yesterday! ICK! I had to stop at the hospital lab first to ensure I wasn't pregnant! :) Next came day surgery, where I signed in and waiting until they took me to pre-op. I got an IV and met the anesthesia doctor. My surgeon also came to say hello. I think I was in surgery for about an hour and a half. I woke up in the recovery room, and it was a MUCH nicer wake up than my last surgery. I stayed in recovery for about 5 hours and then went up to my room.

I had a pain pump filled with Morphine so I didn't worry too much the first couple hours. I got up and walked twice yesterday evening. I took some meds to help me sleep and went off to la la land. And that's when all the noise began! There was something waking me up about every two hours or so. Vitals, IV bag changes, Checking the morphine pump, MORE vital signs (I guess they didn't like that my BP was 74/39 and my oxygen levels were 90). These techs did not learn how to be quiet. They pretty much wanted to have a conversation while I was sleeping! I was already crabby from lack of sleep...they should have known better!

Ah well, my night of torture is over. I was discharged this morning and am happily at home to finish recovering! I am still very VERY sore and feel like I was hit by a train, but hopefully this will not last for too long.

Thanks to everyone who lifted me up in prayer, they were much appreciated! I still have a long way to go...

Sixth Sense

Liberty Grace has a sixth sense. She has the innate ability to sense change. She despises change, and loves to act out in response to it. She's been quite the character the last 12 hours. Thank goodness for camera phones that have allowed me to document this ridiculous behavior!
uer Last night, I was folding an insane amount of clothes. I was putting away towels when she pulled this maneuver...



This morning, I went and bought food for both her and Oliver. Since I'm not supposed to lift more than 20lbs for the first month or so, I knew I needed to get the food situation under control before surgery. To keep the food fresh, I transfer it to a big rubbermaid bin. After the transfer, Liberty decided she needed to help finish off the crumbs INSIDE the bag. Retard!

Desperate times...

...call for very desperate measures. I just mixed pickle juice with chicken broth so I could actually have something that was flavored and NOT bland. It sounds gross, but it was SO SO good! I've been especially crabby this week...mostly just hungry! Perhaps that's why I simply cracked and needed to put pickle juice in my broth. I'm so random.

It seems unreal that I'm having surgery in two days. I have so many people wishing me well, it makes it much easier to go!

Oliver and Liberty seem unphased, with the exception of being pitiful because there's no dropped food.

This weekend brings a LOT of cleaning. I'd rather not recover in a pigsty. Here's my list...since everyone blogging around me seems to list their chores:

~Finish the kitchen (have to run a load of dishes and put them away)
~LAUNDRY (#1 priority...I have lots of piles of clean clothes that need to be folded!)
~Wash all my sheets
~vacuum (this must be done after Oliver leaves...or else the shredding will continue)
~Declutter the kitchen table
~PACK! (I have never been overnight in a hospital before...so I have no idea what to bring!)

Let's see how much I can get done tonight! :)

YAWN.

I'm sleepy. I got home around 4:45AM from a transplant. It went very well, but I am so exhausted. I woke up from a "nap" about 30 minutes ago with a splitting caffeine withdrawl headache. I'm hoping the tylenol and the chocolate slimfast shake will help soon.

I've been told the second day is the worst. I would have to agree, although I think I have extenuating circumstances with the transplant last night. My body has completely rebelled and all I wanted on the way home yesterday was a cheeseburger! I know this will be worth it in the long run, but I'm not happy about it. Perhaps it's a good thing that I'm not going to work today...I'm pretty crabby!

So I will sit here. With my sweet puppies who are feeling abandoned from yesterday. And we will snuggle and NOT think about cheeseburgers. :)

I'm a disgrace!

I was in Boston for five days and took TWO pictures. TWO! I am the QUEEN of pictures, and I took TWO. There's just no excuse for that. Now I'll have to go back!


Boston Public Library

Trinity Church, Copley Place

Again, sorry for the LACK of pictures...but I'm sure you didn't want pictures of the conference rooms. Even I didn't want to see those~

I'm currently enjoying my last Diet Dr Pepper. It's bittersweet, but exciting for all the things to come! :)

Boston 2008

Word to the wise: if you ever have the opportunity to go to a beautiful and historic city like Boston for a conference, make sure you either come early or stay late. I am very frustrated that I have not been able to experience Boston the way I would have liked too, but I have still been exposed to some wonderful things! I got here on Tuesday, on a MD80, two flights before American shut them all down! I guess it pays to take the earlier than early flight. I took the “T” from the airport down to the area where my hotel was. It was very reminiscent of Washington DC where you come off a giant escalator into the most beautiful surroundings! I was instantly blown away by the Boston Public Library, the oldest library in America and Trinity Church. I’ll have to download pictures off my camera when I’m not sitting in the airport without the cords! I hiked the block and a half to my hotel, lugging my enormous suitcase behind me. I stayed in the Copley Place Marriot, which was gigantic and fabulous!  I had a really long and boring meeting that afternoon which was only made better by the chocolate and sandwiches! After the meeting, I checked into the hotel, only to wait for all my co-workers whose planes had been affected by the massive American cancellations. Once my roommate Lisa got there, we went with the other transplant cardiologist to a delicious seafood restaurant for dinner! YUM! Legal Seafood is apparently a Boston staple and it was divine! Wednesday, the official conference began and our days were suddenly filled with meeting after meeting after meeting! For dinner, we went over to Harvard for a meeting of one of the research projects we are involved in. We also went to scope out Children’s of Boston. Thursday bought more meetings….I’m telling you, the highlights of my trip involve the fabulous food! Thursday, I went with Lisa, Kris (my favorite surgeon!), and another physician who had previously done transplant at my hospital to another delicious seafood restaurant that Kris knew about. She’s from Boston, so we figured she’d pretty much know where to go…and she did. That night, we went back to Legal Seafood for dinner and drinks with all the Dallas gang. Friday…can you guess? More meetings! Friday was a great day for several reasons…first of all, I went absolutely crazy for free stuff in the exhibit hall. Let’s just say I have my fair share (and probably some other people’s too) of drug pens. Kris, Lisa, and I did sushi for lunch…which I fall more in love with every time I eat it! Lisa presented a research poster we had all worked on in the afternoon, which was really exciting because we were able to get into some lively debates with other hospital groups! Afterwards, the conference was throwing a “gala” at the Boston Public Library which involved an open bar (which was WAY fun to watch people enjoy!), lots of finger foods, and beautiful, yet crowded surroundings. Lisa and I were starting to feel very claustrophobic, so we left and went up into the Prudential building, which has the most beautiful lounge on the 52nd floor! We drank wine and just fell in love with the buildings at night! Today, I’m headed back home. I haven’t been able to do much of the touristy things I wanted to do, but now that I know how beautiful this city is, I will absolutely be back. I also didn’t get very many pictures, but that can be remedied at another visit! Right now, I’m sitting in some airport restaurant, trying to pass the time. I’m sitting next to a guy who is eating the cloves right out of a bulb of roasted garlic. EW! I think that’s perfectly fine to do when you are at home…but right before you get on a plane? I think I should start praying now that he is not sitting next to me. On a different random restaurant note, the waiter just passed me and said “How’s my lady friend doing?” Weird. I now have big plans to go find my gate and listen to my iPod until the plane boards.

I have less than 48 hours until my eating habits will drastically change. Starting Monday, I’ll be doing only clear liquids and protein drinks until my surgery a week later. I also have to stop taking ibuprofen and get ready to start doing my blood thinner shots (EW!) Please keep me in your prayers as I go off caffeine completely and make do with only liquids. It’s gonna be worth it in the end, but I don’t want to make people crazy!

Beware of the white nastiness.

If anyone ever wants you to hhave an upper GI, please make sure it is for a VERY good reason. You might even want to ask for some anti-nausea medication first. I might have been okay...if I did not have to lay on a table and roll around so I can "coat my stomach". I'm still trying to work the barium out of my system...not a pleasing thought.

I also had a chest xray, labs, an EKG, an abdominal sonogram, and a leg ultrasound. According to the sonographer, I have no gallstones, a nice looking liver, clot free leg veins, and leg arteries that show that I've never smoked! (thank goodness for that!) It was a very busy morning. I had plans to go to work afterwards, but the overwhelming nausea was enough for me to say NOT in a million years.

Tomorrow, I am going to Boston! :) Hooray for trips!

The busyness of it all!

I do not protest to have the most busy life ever, but for the next few weeks, it's pretty crazy! Tomorrow, I have a nutrition class to attend. I can not wait to hear what I can and can not eat! My sister in law bought me a fabulous book for cooking after weight loss surgery, which is something I am absolutely committed to doing. Here's where I am going to need MAJOR prayer...I hate to cook. I despise it. I'm terrible at it. I am going to HAVE to start liking it. That's just all there is to it. I will no longer be focused on fast food because that is not a wise food choice for me.

I also have a morning long doctor's appointment on Monday. I have labs, chest xray, and an EKG starting at 7:30AM (EW!). Afterwards, I move on to a sonogram of my abdomen to look at all the structures they will be operating on. THEN, I have to go for an Upper GI test, where I drink barium and they watch on a screen to see if I reflux. Disgusting. It's gonna be an icky day. I don't think I'm going to work after that fiasco. :(

Tuesday, I leave for Boston at 6AM. EW! I would not normally go that early, but I have a meeting for a research project I am in charge of.....so I have to be there by 1pm. Just lovely. The absolute BEST part of the trip is that my roommate will be my fabulous friend Lisa! She's the new transplant attending MD and she and I are absolute kindred spirits! She's so much fun, and we're already planning fun times! Not to mention that Boston is my surgeon friend Kris' home town and she will no doubt need to show us the sights! Love it! :)

I get home from the conference on Saturday, the 12th. I will spend the next day and a half eating all the foods I will not be eating for awhile. Starting Monday, the 14th, I will have to start an all liquid diet...EW! I'll be allowed Slimfast....and anything clear and sugar free. Jello. Broth. Juice. EW! I'm not excited about it...but oh well.

For those of you who were wondering, I will be having the RNY gastric bypass on the 21st. I did major research on the RNY vs the lap band and found the RNY to be the better choice for me. I'll let you know more if you want, just ASK.

Okay. Bedtime calling.

Judge if you will....

For those of you who have known me for a long time, I've always struggled with this problem. I've tried everything under the sun, but nothing seems to stick for long. I've done a lot of thinking, researching, and pondering in order to come to this decision. I HATE being overweight...and it's time to actually give myself a true chance to be successful and keep it that way.

SO, on April 21st, I will be having weight loss surgery. Some people may view this move as taking the easy way out...but I don't think so. The myth of this surgery is that you don't have to do anything...the weight just falls off and you never have to worry a day in your life. This is not the case. Weight loss surgery is just a tool. If you are interested, I'll be glad to tell you more. If you aren't, I'd just ask you to pray for me on April 21st around 8am.

I've got a long road ahead of me...even just to get to my surgery date. Days of no Advil, a week of only liquids, and the fear of pain await me. I'm going to need a lot of support, even if you don't agree with my decision.

On a completely different note, I am SO excited to go to Boston in 9 days! I have never been there but have ALWAYS wanted to go! I'm staying in this very beautiful and lovely hotel right in the heart of the history! Excitement!

Okay, better be off. There are many puppies in this house who are circling my feet for attention!

April 21

A new start. A big change. A drastic move. A well thought out plan.

Want more?

Exciting times!

Well, some very exciting things are brewing....but you have to wait until after Friday morning to discover them. Let me just warn you, they are FABULOUS! :)

This week has been perfectly hilarious. I have spent the week watching a 40ish woman act like a child....and who wouldn't find that funny? Really! :) I also fell completely out of my chair today, right in front of all the cardiac clinic nurses and one of the ICU attendings (a cute one at that!). Thankfully, said ICU attending helped me OFF the floor and didn't comment on my lack of grace. For those of you who DON'T know, I actually broke my arm after falling out of a chair today whilst teaching a room of 7th graders in 2001! Never let it be said that my teaching days were boring!

Work is busy. We're listing kids left and right, which makes it so much harder for the person on call! The more kids that are on the list, the busier it gets! :) I think we may actually list three kids in the next few days...which is madness!

SO, stay tuned for future announcements. I am excited about it! :)

Dana's challenge!

Dana asked what our song would be. I absolutely agree with Kendi when she said she would be a mix tape. I have so MANY songs that define certain points in my life. There are songs that remind me of good times, and songs that make me want to absolutely shut OFF the radio.

One song that means the WORLD to me is sung by one of my favorite groups of all time. Why do I love them so? Well, they are down to earth, hilarious, and produce the most beautiful 4 part harmonies I've ever heard. I've seen them in concert since the mid 90's and never tire of their voices and stories. This song has seen me through some hard times. I listened to it five times in a row before I could muster up the courage to go into take my nursing boards. I've listened to it when I was happy, just because I wanted to hear the beautiful harmony section (skip to 3:20!). I've listened to it in order to encourage myself that I need to remain true to who I am.

So enjoy Avalon singing "Testify to Love". I know I have and will for years to come. Thanks Jody, Janna, Michael, and Melissa...you're amazing! :)

The never-ending drama!

My job is drama. Sheer drama. Let's just say that I am a serious threat to my co-worker...in her eyes, NOT mine! Today, I spent a lot of time working on research projects because there was absolutely nothing else to do in the outpatient world! Ah well, it's really feast or famine. At least when I have projects to do, I feel productive and get my name on research papers! Fabulous! :)

Liberty is sick again. I thought she was better and had even moved her food back to normal food. Her little doxie stomach did okay for a few days, but she got sick in her crate today which is completely unlike her. SO, we're back to the antibiotics and bland food. She'll survive. She hasn't lost her appetite, so I think we're gonna be ok.

I'm starting to count down the days until I go to Boston. Did I mention I am going to Boston? I can't remember. Anyways, I'm going to the International Society of Heart and Lung Transplantation conference in Boston! I'm staying with one of the docs and I am excited to go and learn! I'm also excited to meet all the people I've been networking with over the last few weeks! I've been doing a small survey project for my surgeon and it involves me calling a lot of transplant centers. I'm excited to meet people who do exactly what I do! I find at these transplant conferences, there are a lot of liver and kidney coordinators, but heart coordinators are few and far between.

One of my favorite reality shows started last night! I love Top Chef! What a great show for someone who is SO addicted to cooking shows, but can barely boil water! :) I really miss having The Food Network....so this is a good alternative. I'm a sucker for reality TV! Next week, the Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars starts again! How exciting is my week!?! I really am not that attached to my television. I survived in Honduras for 2 weeks without it...I just think reality TV is hilarious! :)

Tomorrow I am going to one of my very sweetest patient's schools. She was transplanted the day after Christmas and is going back to school after spring break. She's so excited for us to do this! I absolutely love her! It will be nice to see her in her natural environment and meet all her friends!

Okay. I guess I've rambled enough. Liberty is sitting on the couch across the room from me, just staring creepily at me. Creepy ween!

I'm alive!

I know, I know...this seems like a strange, yet obvious title. However, if you'll indulge me, I'll explain why it's so amazing! :)

First of all, I get hit by GI bugs very VERY easily. If your friend's friend is throwing up, chances are, I will be soon. I am just very fragile when it comes to that, and I really REALLY hate it! Thursday night, I went to bed feeling full. I hadn't really had all that much to eat, but it still felt odd. I woke up about 10:30 to my pager going off. It was a call with a donor heart...and a request to call my surgeon. After our short conversation and his deciding the heart wasn't good, I ran to the bathroom and the saga began. Thus would be the same for the next 5 hours. Up every 15 minutes. ICK!

About 3AM, I had a brilliant moment. I'd call my doctor and see if she could prescribe me something to stop the vomiting and everything else. Of course, I was thinking CRAZY then...with all the dehydration and all. She called back and said I needed to go to the ER. Lovely. I threw on clothes that were not disgusting or vomited on...got in my car with three plastic bags, and prayed I would not throw up in my car. I had a split second decision to make. I have 2 ER's about the same distance away. I needed to find the one where I thought I would wait less time. I remembered my friend Whitney had told me once about her trip to one of these ER's and how quick and efficient it was. I took a chance and went to that one. Mind you, it was SNOWING and frigid...and 3:30AM. Thankfully, the roads were clear and the snow had yet to cause any drama. I pulled into the ER and walked inside. I was the only person there. I was whisked away to triage and within 10 minutes of my arrival, I already had an IV giving me the fluids I'd lost and nausea medicine to stop the tirade of disgustingness. Hooray! I spent 3 hours there...and to my knowledge, was still the only there when I left at 6:30AM. I still felt exhausted, but no longer wanted to throw up everything that I even looked at. I went home, took the nausea meds the ER doc had given me, and blissfully slept until about 4pm. I got up, attempted to be alive, then went back to sleep for another 11 hours, in attempts to make up for lost sleep time.

Today, I feel refreshed and alive! I'm still not eating much, but that will come back eventually. I've even felt good enough to clean the bathroom...no small feat after all the action it saw Thursday night!

Even better, I'm off this weekend! I'm so glad to have an opportunity to get completely better! Hooray!

Return to real life!

What a busy week! It has been a crazy week, back at work...but definitely not the craziest I've ever seen it! I came back to be the impatient coordinator for the next few weeks. I like seeing the well kids in the outpatient clinic, but it's great to be a part of the new transplant recovery. This week, it's been mixed emotions. We've got a new transplanted heart next to one that's angry and rejecting its owner....which is what happens when you don't take your immunosuppresion meds! (okay, enough of my "medication is good and saves lives" soapbox!) I worked alone today, and I think my co-worker is gone the first part of next week...so it should be interesting. I got handed another project today, which I never mind! I like being busy, and despise it when I am bored! (At work, that is!)

I am feeling better today, too! I think I caught some icky GI bug on my way HOME from Honduras, because it didn't hit me until the day after I got home! I finally got one of the fellows at work to help me and I feel a LOT better now! :)

I'm on call this weekend, but I'm on with my favorite surgeon...so at least I'll be awakened pleasantly. I don't have any real plans yet for the weekend...but I do have a lot of baby showers to prepare for...so maybe I'll do that. I've got Oliver for a while longer, so it should be a weekend of cleaning up after his shredding tendancies.

Well, guess that's just about all that's going on around here. Work. Sleep. GI bug. Puppies. :)

12 days of blessings

For those who actually read this blog, I thought I'd give a day by day synopsis of my Honduran journey. I figure some of the details will actually escape my brain and it will be nice to have them all here!

February 8: My brother took me to the airport so early that I have since then blocked out the time. Our group was waiting for us to check in, especially since we had to check a bag of supplies with our own suitcases. One of the child life specialists had already received some not so wonderful news. She found out that if your passport expired within three months, you were not allowed to leave the country (which begs the question, why does it have an expiration date anyways?). She was not allowed to travel with us, and ended up spending the day in Houston trying to get her passport expedited so she could come! Our flight was uneventful, including the very VERY quick layover in Houston. We had high hopes, but not a lot of certainty that our bags would reach Honduras when we did. We landed in San Pedro Sula, where we were met by sunshine and HEAT! (The temp in Dallas was in the 30's!). ALL our bags made it safely there! Hooray! :) We all made it safely through customs and headed to our hotel. The Friends of Barnabus foundation has a very sweet driver named Elmer who picked us up and escorted us to the Gran Hotel Sula. We unpacked, wandered around the streets, and went to a local restaurant (Hasta la Pasta) for dinner.

Saturday, Feb 9: We unpacked ALL of the supplies that we had carted down to Honduras. There was so much stuff! Anything that had been in an isolation room was donated to the cause. Our cardiac cath cardiologist was already in the cath lab doing procedures at this point. A few times during the massive unpacking effort, several nurses were grabbed to go downstairs and monitor the kids. There were also screenings going on...hundreds of people had shown up to see our doctors! It was crazy! Cemesa Hospital had placed an article advertising our arrival in the newspaper...so everyone came! We finished the day by early evening and ate dinner in the wonderous "Cafe Skandia" in our hotel.

Sunday, Feb 10: BEACH day! :) We loaded up in the bus and trekked the 2 hours to hotel's private beach house. We had the whole stretch of beach to ourselves and scampered around the water for the day! We had a small devotional, followed by lunch and more scampering! At one point, a guy showed up who started knocking down coconuts out of the tree for us! He whacked them open with a machete and when you were finished with the coconut water (which was disgusting), you could eat the yummy coconut goo inside! We stayed until around 5, then drove home...happily drinking and eating and SINGING to someone's ipod tunes. (Thank goodness for speakers!)

Monday, Feb 11: Not a big day for me personally, but still many things were going on! We did three out of the four planned surgeries. One child was taken back into the OR after some excessive bleeding. I witnessed the most precious start to the week. Every child that was brought to the OR by the nurses and the parents was prayed over by the doctors and the anesthesiologist. I even had a mom pass out in my arms. CRAZY! I was pretty bored this day. Even though we did five cardiac caths, there were still six floor nurses wandering around needing something to do! I was pretty frustrated at my uselessness. I did get to meet some sweet kiddos who came in the day before their surgery!

Tuesday, Feb 12: I admitted the first post-surgery kid to the step-down unit. Lester, a 4 year old, had his Tetralogy of Fallot repair done the day before...a surgery normally done in the first year of life! I was so happy to have stuff to do! I also prepped two other kids to go to surgery. Let me tell you, I do NOT like being the person to make kids cry because they can't eat!

Wednesday, Feb 13: More surgeries, more caths. We are doing at least 4 caths a day, and three surgeries. The ICU is very busy, and I admitted two more kids to my "room" after their surgeries. Liliana and Alison both had amazingly quick recovery times! Lester gets his chest tube pulled and goes home TWO days after major heart surgery! :) Our most difficult case of the week is today...a Bi-directional Glenn is performed on an 11 year old girl, a surgery normally done around 5 months of age! Craziness! None of the doctors get much sleep tonight because the difficult surgery patient (Cinthia) was doing VERY poorly and it didn't look good for her. We were treated to dinner at a little Italian restaurant by an mystery donor. It was a great dinner, but we were SO exhausted! I think I pretty much fell asleep during dessert!

Thursday, Feb 14: Happy Valentine's Day! Things are getting busy on the step-down unit. We have to take over another room from the hospital because we don't have enough beds for all the cath kids and the post-surgery kids. The hospital knows that Valentine's is "important for Americans" (their words, not mine!) and throws us a little party, complete with snacks and a heart shaped cake! We are working SO hard, and our energy levels are really dwindling. The kids are continuing to do SO well out of surgery, and we're getting most of them out 1 day after they are operated on!

Friday, Feb 15: We are walking zombies. The madness continues. The nurses from Children's are pretty much holding up the step-down unit, while the nuress from Virginia seem to just be our assistants. We are still cathing 5 kids a day, and getting at least 2 surgery kids from the ICU. At night, we are sitting in Cafe Skandia, eating as little as possible (survival food, only!), and falling into bed.

Saturday, Feb 16: This is a semi-quiet day! All surgeries have been completed the day before and we have NO caths! All the overnight cath kids have been discharged and we are constantly discharging kids to the Barnabus House. (More on this later!) The ICU, which should be settling down, is getting MORE crazy because of events that happened in Honduras! Late Friday night, a prominent Honduran drug lord is being driven around with his sister and her daughter, plus two body guards. An assassination attempt goes down-with the sister and her daughter being killed by the AK-47, two body guards being disfigured, and the man ended up in the ICU. Our ICU people were helping as much as they could by placing lines and assisting the Honduran team, but it was still a mess! Everyone was on edge because they weren't sure if the people who started the assassination were coming to finish it! All the commotion died down around mid afternoon and we were starting to wrap up. An ICU kid was not doing well, so one of the step-down nurses and I were monitoring an ICU kid while they placed a chest tube on the sick child. As we were finishing, the pediatric cardiologist in Honduras came up to us and told us he had a new "blue" baby...a newborn who had been diagnosed with transposition of the great arteries. Basically, all the de-oxygenated blood was going to the body and the blood that had already been oxygenated was going back to the lungs. It's a complex defect that is normally corrected in the first few days of life. If we had not been there, this baby would have been wrapped up and given back to his mother and sent home to die. Our doctors performed a atrial septostomy on him...creating a hole between his atrium, allowing the blood to mix and giving him a few months of time. It was very risky, especially since this is done by cardiac catheterization and our cath doctor had left that morning to go back to the US! The cardiac intensivist performed the life saving intervention, and I'm happy to say it was successful! The baby is scheduled to go to the USA for complete repair within two weeks....but would not have lived to do that if we had not been able to do that procedure! We all met for dinner, including the Honduran doctors and nurses who had helped us during the week! It was very relaxing and happy...considering we had just saved an unexpected life!

Sunday, Feb 17: This was SUCH a hard day! We had been there for 6 previous 12 hour shifts, and the exhaustion was absolutely there. I had disgusting swelling of my feet and ankles...like a pregnant woman! We admitted all the kids remaining from the ICU, and gave report to the Honduran nurses. We were OUTTA there! My friend Amanda and I were supposed to be going to the Barnabus house later that day, but the coordinator of the trip told us we would not be going until the next day so we would have the night off! Hooray! Part of our group headed off to the beach wonderland of Roatan, while the rest of the group would leave the next morning. That night, we went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant and just relaxed!

Monday, Feb 18: Amanda and I slept WAY late (well, not that late, but considering we had been up at 5:30 for 7 days in a row, 9 was LATE!) and packed up our things. We headed out to the Barnabus house that afternoon. The Barnabus house is a place for all our surgery kids to recover before they head home to the very vast and remote regions of Honduras. They do clinics on Monday through Friday for the people in the community. It is located in a very rural area of Honduras, outside the town of Pena Blanca. We saw so many of our kids, who were thriving outside the hospital! We collapsed into bed, so happy to be relaxing for the next day and a half!

Tuesday, Feb 19: We slept until 10AM! What a relaxing time! We just hung out all morning and read, while relaxing with the kids! That afternoon, we went to the Pulapanzak Water Falls in Pena Blanca. SO amazing! We hiked all the way down to the bottom and got really wet! It was amazing! I took SO many pictures! It was such a relaxing time compared to what we had been through the week before! Amanda and I packed up our things and made it an early night!

Wednesday, Feb 20: We got up early to watch the sunrise...and were very disappointed. It wasn't that exciting, even though we had been told it was beautiful! We got ready for the day, and headed back to San Pedro Sula. We met up with our friends and flew home. Houston was having HORRID weather that day, and we absolutely met up with it! We were stuck in the air almost an hour waiting for permission to land, then were stuck in the airport another hour. We finally got home and I returned to my sweet puppies around 10pm. I fell asleep and slept for a LONG time in my fabulous bed!

To all those who supported me, prayed for me, thought of me, looked for updates from me, I hope you have just a wee glimpse into my very busy weeks in Honduras. I am so glad I decided to take Thursday and Friday off to recover....I absolutely needed it! Thanks for reading!

Most beautiful shot

On our trip, we were blessed to be accompanied by the D Magazine photographer. She took pictures of EVERYTHING! We'll be featured in the Best Doctor's edition later on in the year. On Valentine's, she snapped this completely random and unplanned shot. It's absolutely amazing!

Only a few of the 238 pictures I took! More to follow!

A friend on this trip is blogging with pictures about our experiences! Feel free to follow our story online!

http://trenasue.blogspot.com

All is going well! Will have to update when I have more time! :)

Please don't ever let it get easier!

Today, another one of my sweet patients ran headlong into the arms of Jesus. He persevered long and hard, but in the end, his earthly calling was finished and his heavenly calling was ready to begin. I had the honor and the priviledge to be part of his journey for a small moment, but the light in his eyes and his contagious smile will stay with me forever. I have the priviledge (and sometimes the burden) of knowing the last thing he said in this world was "I love you Stephanie"....almost three months ago.

One of the risks of my profession is that you can get desensitized to the idea of a child dying. I do not ever want to be one of those people. Even when I know it's time for a sweet angel to go meet Jesus, I still want to be as affected each and every time. It completely destroys me, but I know that's probably for the best. Today, my eyes have been so puffy that I haven't left the house for fear of scaring someone!

Enjoy fishing in heaven, my sweet friend. I'll bet the fish are HUGE! :) "I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith." ---2 Timothy 4:7

Mis vacaciones Honduran!!

Well, it's not really going to be a vacation, but wanted a minute to show off my pitiful grasp of the spanish language! My Honduran mission trip is now in less than a week and there's a million things going through my head! I have no doubt in my nursing abilities...so that's thankfully not one of my concerns! I am concerned about my communication skills! I can do a good round of medical Spanish with the best of them, but I'm hoping it's enough! Here's a run down on my itinerary...mostly so all the people who read this blog can pray for my team while we're gone!

Feb 8: We leave DFW at 7:15, arrive in San Pedro Sula, Honduras around noon.
Feb 9: Set up day at the hospital. We're going to be working at Cemesa Hospital in San Pedro Sula for the week.
Feb 10: Our team building day-we're going to the Honduran beach for a day of relaxation before the week's madness begins!
Feb 11: We start our week of fun. Not sure how many surgeries or heart catherizations we will be doing, but it's not my job to know! :) I will just be there to take care of those precious Honduran children and keep them out of pain! We'll be doing surgeries, most likely from Monday-Friday. We'll be getting the kids stable enough to be taken to the Barnabus house to recover until they can go to their remote villages. Saturday and Sunday will be spent making sure none of the children are still in the hospital when the team leaves the country.
Feb 18: The majority of the team will head home. I will be traveling to the mountains of central Honduras to the Barnabus house to monitor the children for complications before they go home. This house is staffed by nurses who get overwhelmed at the large influx of kids we send after our mission is completed. It's helpful to them to have a few extra pairs of nursing eyes to watch these sweet kiddos. It's pretty minimal work! We pretty much just relax in the beautiful mountains while reading, playing, and eating! What a nice ending to the trip!
Feb 20: I head home!

There are SO many people going on this trip! Surgeons, cardiologists, surgical techs, perfusionists(they run the life support machine!), Anesthesiologists, ICU doctors, ICU nurses, Step down nurses, child life specialists, chaplains....and so many more! Your prayers are coveted!



I hope to update before I leave, but I can't promise anything! If you're interested in a daily email while we're gone, you can send a blank email to news@fobf.org and they'll send one out!

Winter weather watch!

The weather here is FRIGID! I'm not complaining, I'd much rather be cold than hot anyway! Liberty and I are spending a delightful night under a blanket watching Hairspray for the third time this week! I am SO addicted to this movie! I've ordered it and the soundtrack from Amazon, but it's not here yet. Sadness! I am a sucker for a good musical and can't believe I didn't see this one in the theater!

I'm SO glad the week is over! Of course, I started back on call today, and don't worry...I've ALREADY gotten called with heart offers! My surgeon isn't even in town! If we end up transplanting, she'll fly back, but it makes for some excitement.

This weekend, I'm not planning on much! I've got a surprise birthday party tomorrow night in the absolute Dallas GHETTO. It's for a wonderful friend, so I don't mind that the location is a TAD shady. Other than that, Liberty and I have to deliver a birthday present to my sister-in-law tomorrow.

I really REALLY wanted it to ice over this morning. I even turned on the news before I even got out of bed to see if there were delays so I could spend my day in bed! Sadly, there was no ice to be had. There really wasn't even any traffic! So much for some early morning drama!

Hope your weekend is warm and wonderful!

Peace and quiet

Well, it was almost all peaceful and quiet, this beautiful off-call weekend of mine! I did wake up on Saturday morning to the annoying noise of my pager...apparently a doctor paged me at 4:40 that morning and I never even heard it! Now, when I'm not on call, I don't sleep with ANYTHING in my bedroom. No phone, no pager, no Treo. It's not surprising I didn't hear it...what's suprising is that the pager actually kept going off! Thankfully, I know the surgeon who called me was able to reach the actual person on call.

Yesterday, I went shopping and to the movies! 27 dresses is such a great chick flick, if anyone is in the mood to just smile! I've pretty much had a perfectly wonderful weekend! It's been relaxing and not stressful, which is exactly what I needed. Liberty is being annoyingly clingy...perhaps she senses that in less than 3 weeks, I'll leave her for 2 weeks! I don't think I've been away from her that long before. Oh well, she's a dog...and she'll no doubt handle it much better than I.

I'm watching Runaway Bride right now. Every time I watch this movie, I feel the absolute craving to eat eggs! Perhaps it's because eggs are talked about! Thankfully, it's not making me think of weddings or anything serious like that! I always loved that Richard Gere's cat is named Italics. What a great name! When I am finished with patriotic dog names, I'll have to move on to punctuation names....

I'm on outpatient this week, which means I get to see a few of my sweet babies tomorrow when they come for their biopsies! I do love seeing when they come in and they are healthy!

I think I have a Honduras planning meeting this week. Hooray! Especially since I am leaving in less than three weeks, I'd like to be more prepared...but that's apparently not going to be the case.

Well, I'd probably better get to bed. My staying up late on the weekends is always harmful when I start getting back into my week day schedule. Oh well, that's going to be a complication I'm willing to take.

The stupid Giants won the NFC championship. The ONE time I was rooting for the Packers...and they lost. Now I have to cheer for the Patriots, which Kris will LOVE, but I will loathe. I mean, really, the only good thing about the Patriots is Tom Brady's physical appearance. He's vapid, but still a beautiful man! Now I have to cheer FOR them because I can NOT in good conscience cheer for the Giants. It's a conundrum.

I hope your week is absolutely fabulous!

My blog's reading level....

Hmmm...interesting.

Online Payday Loans

Wow!

Just when I think I can't keep going in my job, something small like a performance review hits me when I need it. I had a mini review last month, but all the people who were supposed to evaluate me hadn't gotten their feedback in yet. Today, I got the official results. At Children's, we're rated 1-5 and our pay raise is linked to how good we do. My boss told me today that he's never had an employee who was "outstanding" in every category in their first year of working in that department. WOW! He had go through special permission to get me my raise since it was the most allowed. I was given a copy and am still in shock at the last phrase, coined by the transplant surgeon..."Stephanie is a true pleasure to work with and if technology someday permits should be cloned."

God has truly blessed me!

Cowboys Vs Giants.....17-21

ARG. That's all I have to say. Personally, I blame Jessica Simpson. I hate her.

Surviving the new year

A weekend off call when you have had a really horrible week at work is like a GIANT piece of chocolate cake. It's enticing, fabulous, and you just can't get enough! I don't really wish to blog about work right now, mostly because I'm trying to pretend it doesn't exist. Weeks where I have more than one occasion of bursting into tears are not common, but I still hate each and every one of them. When the medical director for transplant tells me I need to "go out and party this weekend so you don't think about work", I start to wonder what kind of image people are seeing on my face. When I walk into the surgical director's office and she says "oh GOOD, you still work here!", I really start to wonder! But ENOUGH about work. I'm tired of it and I don't wanna talk about it any more!

Let's instead discuss my fabulous weekend off! I have been extremely productive today! I actually CLEANED the bathroom, which is something I've been saying I was going to do for the last three weeks and have never done. I did a few loads of laundry, did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, and still played with the puppies enough to tire them both out. They are both passed out on the chaise lounge with me. I also got the opportunity to play with a friend from LeTourneau! I haven't had a chance to see her since her wedding in 2001! That's WAY too long! We roamed around Firewheel mall for several hours today! I had so much fun! (And I got to shop!)

In less than a month, I'll be in Honduras! I'm getting more and more excited about this trip! I still have absolutely no idea what to pack, but I'm sure I'll get told at some point. I know I'm leaving on February 8, but that's about all I know. One would hope I'd be given some information soon, but we'll just have to see. Once we get there, I'm just planning on being a post-op nurse...taking care of those sweet cardiac Honduran kiddos!

Hope your weekend is as relaxing as mine!

Happy New Year!

Wow! Can it really be 2008 already? I am absolutely convinced that the years go by much faster the older I get. It really seems like just yesterday I was ringing in 2007 and now it's already over. It's about to be one year since I started the quest for a new job....a job I don't regret taking most of the time. I've grown so much as both a person and a nurse through this job. I feel that I am smarter and every day I get to learn something new! I've developed friendships with surgeons and cardiologists....people I never would have had the opportunity to get to know before. I'm a lot busier than before, taking call, being at the hospital on weekends that I'm supposed to be off....but it's all worth it to have developed relationships with these precious families. I've seen nine hearts come out of ice and be restarted in their new owners and NINE times have I had the priviledge to go tell family "We have a beating heart!".

As far as the rest of my life goes, it's stayed pretty much the same. I guess that's good, right? It's best not to change everything at once! I'm looking forward to some changes in 2008, although not quite sure what they are yet. I'm not planning on moving, not changing jobs or puppies, and hopefully will just make even more friends!

I'm still on call for new transplants, but thankfully have switched off call for our kiddos who have already had them. Not that I don't love those kids, but being on all call at the same time gets really old and tiring! I'm starting to count down the days until I go to Honduras, and I can't WAIT! It will be one month from Tuesday! Thanks to my wonderful family and friends, I've already raised the money needed to go! I'll post more details about the trip when I get them.

I hope 2008 is an amazing year for all of us! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Overworked!

I have never been SO tired after a weekend on call. Apparently everyone in the hospital is completely incapable of doing the work on their own. So many stupid questions were posed to me this weekend! On top of that, I got chewed out by an angry and frustrated parent (not at me, but the situation he's in). I just sat there and validated his feelings and directed him to the person who could actually do something about it. I've also had NO sleep in the last 36 hours because we've had FOUR really good heart offers that I've spent an average of 6 hours each on, and then they all fell through because of various stupid reasons. It's frustrating to work that hard and have NO ONE get a heart because of it. I think I talked to the surgeon about every hour since last night at 7pm. I'm just thankful it was her, and not the other surgeon because he would have come even more unglued than Kris and I did. Thank goodness for small blessings.

I went to a wine tasting last night, which was completely interrupted by the first of the four heart calls. I did get to enjoy a good part of it, although not the wine. Darn being on call! :( Today, I went to a goodbye brunch for a good friend of mine. I was only called away to the phone twice during that! Hooray!

I'm all alone this week as my counterpart has taken vacation. It should be pretty busy, especially since we're going to be discharging our newest transplant (out in less than a WEEK after transplant!) tomorrow. Aside from that, we'll see what madness develops! I am praying for uninterrupted sleep tonight! Please? PLEASE? :)

Oliver's mission

For Christmas, my dad bought Oliver what he believed to be an undestroyable toy. He did not realize the great power and toy shredding capacity that Oliver has. It did take him 48 hours to break into the toy, but the end result is always the same. Shreds abounding....squeakers out....fluff everywhere! Here are some pictures...

Before he is given the toy....

He looks kinda crazy here, but he's really just excited to have a new toy!

The shredding begins. Note the pieces of the toy strewn about.

Fluff EVERYWHERE!!

Squeaker out!

Now he's tired and needs to sleep!

It's an exciting life we lead here in Dallas...

FREEDOM!

I am SO happy right now! I'm OFF call and I don't go back to work until Friday the 28th! Ta DA! :) I am going to spend the day tomorrow trying to finish my Christmas shopping and getting my car fixed. There's a CD that's been stuck in my car for about three months, and I just CAN'T get it out! So, I'm gonna have them attempt to fix it while the radio is still under warranty! I also have to take the puppies to the vet for shots and the like. What a fun time for them!

I think I finally got all the presents mailed off to those who won't be there. It took some last minute stress and work-lateness (oh, I made that word up!), but it's finally done! I just wish those people could be at my Grandma's too, but they have other committments. I think I have just one more person to buy for and then the wrapping begins.

Last week was so FUN! I got to go to my very first Mavericks game! I went with a few girls from work. We sat ALL the way on the very top row, but we still had a great time! On Saturday, I had the opportunity to go to the main CT surgeon's Christmas party. It was SO fancy! They had a cello player, a singer, servers, and the most amazing food! They had this wonderously fabulous avocado bar! You got a half of an avocado and then there were all sorts of wonderous things to fill it with! Bacon, sour cream, pico de gallo, cheese....so good!



Today was a really good clinic day! I got to see so many of my sweet babies (I call them ALL babies...even the teenagers!) including "Mr 100". He finally gets to go back to his home town after being in Dallas since August 10! He was so excited today. He gave me a big goodbye hug. I am really gonna miss seeing him every week!

I'm headed out to my Grandma's house either Saturday or Sunday. Liberty will be with me, no doubt to enjoy the four hours on the road. Oliver will be living it up at Becca's with her family. It's been wonderful having him back this week. He's such a snuggle bug. I think I have some great pics of him from this week....




I won't be blogging until I get back from my grandma's house next week. I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas. Here's a picture of my beautifully self-chopped (or actually, Michael chopped) Christmas tree. Enjoy!

A plethora of technology

I am back on call until the 20th. Back to sleeping with all my electronics next to my night stand. We have 2 kiddos on the list right now, so anything is possible. On a better note, my sweet little guy is improving every day. It's slow, but it is progress. Keep him in your prayers, he is very in need of them!

My house is decorated for Christmas! I've got my beautiful live tree all decorated! My favorite piece, my Willow Tree nativity, is all assembled. I've actually started Christmas shopping, but I haven't really accomplished much. I am hoping to do some tomorrow since I only have a massage and an open house to attend. Hooray for massages! I absolutely need one as my entire body is crampy and hurting.

I've also got to buy some sort of Christmas fancy outfit. I was invited to the main surgeon's Christmas party and my date is my favorite transplant surgeon! :) She always dresses fabulously, so I guess I'd better look good as well! I already have shoes, so I think I just need a party dress. That's not necessarily an easy task!

There is SOMETHING going on outside tonight. I have been hearing sirens and firetrucks for about 15 minutes, and several helicopters have quickly flown over. I have no idea what it's all about...but it is kinda scary!

Well, I guess that's just about it that's going on here. Busy busy busy.

Answered prayers!

Two weeks ago, I experienced the worst transplant I had ever been in on. It was long, drawn out, complicated, and disheartening. It didn't end well and the next 2 weeks were an absolute stress-filled disaster. This sweet little boy ended up having to be re-listed, with no idea if we were even going to get any offers. Time was running out...

Until 10:59 last night, when someone made the decision to offer the gift of life. I can NOT stress enough how much organ donation affects people. Honestly people, you do NOT need your organs after you're gone...so why keep them? There are so many myths about organ donation....and so MANY REWARDS! To see the face of someone change after you've just told them "We have a heart for your son/daughter" is a look I'll never be able to erase from my mind. Why would someone want to hold that back or not allow it to happen? Did you know there are 90,000 people waiting for organs and only about 35,000 organs being donated? Ridiculous!

Anyways....off the soap box and back to reality....

I am anxiously awaiting the results of this newest transplant, but I DO know that the new heart is beating...something that couldn't be said for the last one. :) Please keep the prayers going for this sweet boy and his family. Seeing as the last thing he said to me was "I love you Stephanie!", I really REALLY want a good outcome! Pray hard! AND BECOME AN ORGAN DONOR!

A week gone by...

WOW. I can't believe it's almost December already! Where on EARTH has the time gone? I sat down yesterday to scratch out some thougnts for a Christmas letter and thought of all the things that had gone on this year. Now I am sitting watching Charlie Brown Christmas, still amazed that it's time for this again!

Thankgiving was SUCH a nice break from work, especially since it has been so absolutely crazy the last few days before. My sister flew in from Virginia and didn't leave until yesterday, so we had a FUN time together. Lots of shopping, lots of eating, lots of talking...and lots of bed hogging, according to Kimberly. I do not believe the last one, but she swears by it. HEY. It's my bed, I do not have to share. :)

Things at the hospital are so-so. My sweet transplant from last week is stable at the moment. He needs a new heart and LOTS of prayers. The annual Children's Christmas parade is this Saturday, and I have FOUR transplanted kiddos in it! I'm excited to see them be able to take part! It will be on 350 stations nationwide, so make sure to watch it! It's SUCH a quality parade and the kids LOVE it! Not sure if I'll be walking in the parade this year or not, but you'll have to watch to find out! :)

www.childrensparade.com has all the syndication listings.

I think I am trying to acquire a cold at the moment. I've been taking lots of zinc and echinecia and other things to ward it off, but I think it's coming anyways. Stupid cold.

I'm sending out Christmas cards this week and would LOVE to send you one! Email me your address if you read this...I'd love to get my address list more complete!

HAVE A GREAT DAY! :)

Fighting for his life.

A sweet little boy received the gift of a new heart yesterday. I've really bonded with this family (I know that it seems like I ALWAYS do, but this family is a special one!) and was so thrilled to be a part of his experience. Unfortunately, there were complications and he is SO sick right now. This boy is a FIGHTER and does not give up easily, so I know he is fighting with all his might right now. Please lift up prayers for him, his parents, and his sisters. Just a really quick story about how sweet he is. When we brought him to the OR, he looked at me and said "Oh don't worry Stephanie, I won't harass you now!". I laughed and said he could harass me all he wanted. When we got him on the table, he asked for me and then told me he loved me (he was completely on calm down meds at this point!). Then he asked if we would pray before he went to sleep. We all stopped and the anesthesiologist prayed out loud for him and the surgery. AFter that, he just calmed right down and went right to sleep. So sweet.

I'm exhausted after the longest heart transplant surgery in my hospital's history. I got there at 11AM yesterday and got home at 8AM today. YAWN. Need sleep! Please PRAY HARD!

Patience is a virtue I need HELP with.

Let's just work through some scenes from my life. Imagine that you are working in your office on a project for a parent. You're on a website for this family, doing research. Your extremely nosy coworker looks OVER your shoulder and says "What are you looking up?".

Scene #2: Instead of preparing materials for a meeting as previously discussed, certain co-worker spends three hours doing nothing and then leaves the office with the meeting materials incomplete.

Does anyone have a nice and tactful way of confronting situation #1? I already handled situation #2. I don't know how to nicely say "GET OUT OF MY BUSINESS!!!" Suggestions? Comments? Encouragement? Because situations like that make me want to quit my job. I'm completely afraid I'm going to SNAP and say something rude and I'm normally not RUDE!

ARG.

Outta here!

The Phoenix Sky Harbor airport has my undying gratitude and thanks. First of all, the absolute QUICKEST check in/security screen I've ever enountered. Second, and most important, they have FREE wireless internet! What a delight! I can waste my hour of sitting time playing around on the internet and not have to pay the bothersome 6-10 dollars that the companies airports contract with like to steal from me. I am very grateful.

I am VERY sad the conference is over! What a great experience! It's one thing to be with coordinators all day at work, but this conference allowed me to meet with coordinators from all over the country and see what works for them in their programs! I was able to network and have fun with people who do EXACTLY what I do, and that's always a great time! My hospital paid for my hotel/meals/airfare so it was nice to not be stressed about money for once. My hotel room was beautiful, the conference kept feeding us, and the weather was hot but NOT humid. The only thing that could have made it better was for me to have taken a friend with me. Next time, I'll certainly know better. It's nice to wander a new city alone, but I'm such a talker that I'm sure some people thought I was homeless and talking to myself!

Here's my latest conundrum. Suitcases. I'm telling you, I really only bought 2 votive holders and 2 things of soap while in Arizona. Before I left, my suitcase was easily close-able. I practically had to LAY on it, even in the most stretched out setting to get it to close before I left! Do dirty clothes take up more space? It was so frustrating because I KNOW my suitcase weighed less than 40lbs when I left. Upon check in today, I discovered it weighed a hefty 47. What the heck? Such a mystery...

I am happy to see my sweet puppies this evening! I'm sure Liberty has forgotten all about me...fickle baby.

There are A LOT of people who want to go to DFW today. Our flight here was packed, and I'm sure that this one will be as well. I really despise long flights. I have too much need to wiggle and move and the people around me start to stare me down. I can't help it! I've never been able to sit still!

Tomorrow, it's back to work, but thankfully only a three day week! And I am NOT on call! Okay, I take it back. Apparently, my co-worker has messed with the schedule and I am on call for donors starting on Friday. CRAP. I can't catch a break. Thankfully, after that, she is on call for a full two weeks, none of this one week business. So I'll end up two weeks on, one week off, one week on? This makes no sense. I give UP trying to figure out her thought processes. I'm just going to have to REALLY take advantage of my three nights with my phone out of my room. It's been really odd this week to not have my pager on...I've enjoyed it! :)

Well, the plane is gonna take off soon. Guess I'd better shut this down. In a few hours, PUPPIES! :)

So stinkin' confused!

Hello from Tempe, Arizona! I arrived here yesterday afternoon and will not be leaving until Tuesday night! Such a long conference! I'm actually really enjoying the conference. It's so applicable to my job that I am not bored! (well, most of the time anyway!) My room is beautiful and has a patio that overlooks the courtyard which is full of fountains! If I had my cable thingy, I'd upload pics I took, but that will have to wait. I went to the pool today and was surrounded by palm trees, cacti, and a HUGE butte/mesa thing. I'll have to take pictures of that tomorrow! The weather here is beautiful this time of year. It's always pleasant outside, but not humid. Probably the most interesting thing this conference has to offer is the snack stations. I'm serious, it feels like they want us to eat ALL the time! If I am really bold, I'll try to take a picture of this wonderland. It's constant food...and all kinds! Fruits, juice, water, sodas, pastries, trail mix, cookies, crackers, candy, cereal, granola bars, and ice cream abound! It's INSANE! So far, there are only 2 things I have found that I don't like. #1: This is a Pepsi drinking hotel. EW and ICK. When faced with the soda choice, those people who know me know my serious addiction to Diet Dr Pepper. When that's not available, I'll go for Diet Coke. If all else fails and the sky has fallen, I'll drink Diet Pepsi. I'm dying for DDP right about now. #2: I can NOT understand the time zone here. I am 2 hours off central time because Arizona doesn't use daylight savings time. Tomorrow, I'll be 3 hours off. As if that wasn't weird enough, I can't figure out the times my TV shows are on! I just looked on Yahoo TV in the Arizona section to see what was on TV now...all I could recognize was Liar Liar. When I checked the schedule, it said that was supposed to be on at midnight...but it's only 9! I'm so puzzled.

It absolutely floors me that by the time I get home, I will be three hours off in time zones. SO weird. I love that the hotel even provides a little paper on "The history of Daylight Savings Time". So educational!

Well, since my body thinks it's nearly midnight, I'm off to bed. I roamed around Tempe tonight and actually went to a movie alone! I've never done that before! Perhaps it was the freedom of a new city.

I do miss my puppies. It's weird to go to bed by myself. :)

I wanna DANCE!

I have always wanted to take dance lessons...ever since I was a little wild child. For some reason, I was never allowed to. Perhaps it was that we had not a lot of extra money or time when I was growing up. Perhaps my mother thought it brazen. Who knows? What I DO know is that every time I watch Dancing with the Stars, I suddenly start browsing the web for dancing schools. I just wish that some dashing dancer would teach me the Mamba and the Samba and the Passa Doble...and all those fancy moves they do! Ah well, perhaps I will find someone who will want to teach me to dance.

Work has been basically okay. My sweet little transplant boy came home from the World Series game absolutely GLOWING! He DID get to throw out the first pitch, although that part wasn't televised...much to the chagrin of the entire DFW cheering section. He sat up in the president of the Red Sox box, did TWO press conferences, met all the Red Sox team, and just basically felt like the sweet star he is! He was thrilled and thankful today, even though he had to spend the day at the hospital, that he got to experience all that. Our surgeon was equally excited, practically running around her office telling every single detail of the trip without stopping for breath! I think that's one of the reasons I just love her! What an amazing woman! Here's a link to one of the MANY news stories done about him. He was in 176 news stories, including TV/radio/print!
http://www.myfoxdfw.com/myfox/MyFox/pages/sidebar_video.jsp?contentId=4745572&version=1&locale=EN-US


The best part of the week was getting to spend time with my precious friend Jennifer. After losing her daughter two weeks ago, she's been back in Odessa and I have missed her! I've seen her almost every day for 4 months, and I'm going through withdrawls! She brought her son to Boo at the Dallas Zoo this past weekend and we ate lunch together on Saturday and then went to the mall for fun shopping on Sunday! I really miss her.



Friday I am leaving for Arizona. The conference I went to three weeks ago was only slightly coordinator focused. It was really more focused on donors. This conference is JUST FOR coordinators! NEW coordinators! I'm very excited about it! Hopefully, I'll learn enough about the other organs to be able to ace my certification test that I must take next spring. I am hoping to find lots of people to network with. I am staying in a big hotel room all alone, but I've been told there's lots of fun to be had in the area, so perhaps I'll investigate! The weirdest thing is that Daylight Savings time starts while I'm gone. Arizona doesn't participate, so when I come back, my internal clock will be TWO hours off! Odd!

Well, puppies are calling. They are displaying attention seeking behaviors. Sweet things!

Sometimes, I'm amazed.....

There's so many bad things in this world. It's not getting any better...and it's not going to! It's really great when people are kind just because they can be, but it doesn't happen very often. It's happening alot at my hospital lately!

Our sweet little transplant kiddo who was "Mr 100" is a HUGE Red Sox fan. The surgeon promised him that if they made it to the World Series, she'd find a way to take him. Well, thanks to the kindness of Grace Flights of America and the president of the Red Sox, Andrew will be sitting in the Red Sox president's box seats tomorrow night for the game! There's even talk that he may get to throw out the first pitch! WOW!

We've had a few frustrating heart outcomes lately, and not necessarily just transplant kids but heart kids in general, and that's SO hard! Thankfully, many of our transplant kids who were SO sick, are doing well right now! This weather change hasn't seemed to affect anyone yet, and we're very thankful for that! It's nice to catch a break every once in awhile, right?

Tomorrow, Michael and I are going to Washington Mutual to see if they will give me the almost $400 they charged me in late fees for something that was not my fault (unauthorized transaction took the money I had in my account and I had written checks using some of that money!). I don't know if they will do anything, but I'm prepared to take my business elsewhere if they don't. I'm taking Michael for moral support, and it doesn't hurt that he's a finance lawyer! :) SO, pray I don't lose my temper...or cry!

Liberty and Oliver are happily playing. They've just finished a wild romp around the house and now Oliver is shredding toys. I am having a Grey's Anatomy party here tomorrow (well, not party...just gathering!) and I was trying to clean the house so my friend's aren't shocked and disgusted. Oh well. There's string and toy carcasses everywhere!

K. I'm out. Hope your week is going well...and it's almost the WEEKEND! :) I'm going to Arizona next week so I'll have a 4 day week! Excitement! :)

Random stuff and some Shakespeare...

Lots of things have transpired this week! I got back from Nashville last Wednesday after 2 days of doing nothing but sitting in meetings and eating! I think it was a very worthwhile conference, and I hope to be able to implement some of them in my practice. I had Thursday all to myself (well, Liberty and I!) and ran errands and things that can't be done when you work M-F. Friday, my parents came into town! My brother/sister in law, my parents, and I traipsed off to the fair for afternoon delights! Saturday, we got up and went back to the fair! I was absolutely faired out by the end of the day, but it was fun! Saturday night, I kidnapped my favoritest transplant baby's mom and my family took her out to dinner! She and I have become friends during the six months she's been in Dallas. (She's from Odessa)

Sunday was an absolutely wretched day. I got a phone call that my favoritest transplant baby (the one whose mom I had kidnapped the night before!) had coded multiple times and the family had decided that the baby had enough and was withdrawing support. This baby is an absolute angel. She has the most beautiful blue eyes and adorable smile. I have grown so attached to her over the last few months! Needless to say, I didn't have full control of the tears at that moment. I drove up to the hospital to spend time with the mom and her recently passed baby. I helped mom give her precious angel a bath and dress her in her finest while she waited for her husband to arrive from Odessa. Everyone who had ever cared for this sweet diva was absolutely crushed and it's gonna take me a long time to recover from this one. It never EVER gets easier to lose patients, but it's especially hard when you've gotten attached. Monday, I was able to help this baby's mom grieve by going to the scrapbook store and helping her pick stuff out for the last scrapbook. Again, mothers and fathers should NOT have to bury their own children, but what a blessing it is when they know that they will see them again someday! This precious mom told me Sunday she could never have gone through all this without her faith!

I really love one of the last quotes from Hamlet, and I thought it absolutely fitting for this little angel...
"Good night, sweet princess, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!"





Rest in the arms of Jesus, my precious baby. You've earned it!

Nashville romping!

Hello from Nashville! Apart from the very small viewing of the GORGEOUS mountains outside, I have mostly been stuck in meetings all day! I am staying at the Gaylord Opryland, which is POSH and FREE (to me! SO glad my hospital pays!). I've got a beautiful king size room with windows overlooking the atrium to this horrifically gaudy hotel! I would have been happy with mountain views, but I get views of the beautiful waterfalls INSIDE the building! :) Guess I better be careful what I romp around in!

Conferences always leave me INSPIRED to do my job better and more effectively! I always learn so much! I am very excited to share my knowledge, even though most of the people I work with on a day to day basis are resistant to change! I get to go to another conference in Arizona in three weeks, and that will be even BETTER!

Okay, guess I should go frolic in my fabulous room. I mean, really, wouldn't you? This place is AMAZING! I'll post pics if I figure out how to send them to my email! :)

A time for celebration!

Oh, I am so sublimely happy right now! :) I'm off call! After an absolutely horrible week last week, I finally have started sleeping through the night. This week hasn't been so bad. I've hated my job a lot less this week, too! After being so exhausted at the beginning of the week (from lack of sleep either for reasons of weird insomnia or busy with transplanting kiddos), I've gone OFF call and HOPE to have more sleep! Not quite sure what I'm planning to do the rest of the week, but I know tonight I'm doing absolutely nothing!

Next week is going to very interesting! I'm actually going to Tennessee next week for some transplant conference. I kinda got pulled in at the last minute! I'd already taken some time off next week so I could go to the fair with my parents when they come to town, so I won't be at work from Tuesday to the following Tuesday! HOORAY! I absolutely need a break! Ta DA!

This week, the hospital has been overtaken by the Joint Commission, a group that audits hospitals to make sure we are following rules and regulations. This means a bunch of people who know nothing about our hospital are traipsing about examining everything. They're pulling people into every nook and cranny to explain all rules and stuff we do on a daily basis. It's quite nervewracking. Thankfully, all reports we've received so far say we're doing a good job, and they haven't found anything big.

So, now I eagerly await my pizza delivery (hooray for pay day!) and watch House. It's a grand life I lead!