Broken

Huh. Has it really been three weeks since I last posted? This seems ridiculous.

I've had a lot go on in that short time period. Most importantly, I've lost one of the small lights in my life. My sweet Hannah Olivia has gone to be with Jesus, and I am SO happy that she doesn't hurt anymore. No more pokes or IV's or echos or pretty much anything painful. She went to see HIM quickly and didn't suffer, which was an absolute blessing. I had the blessed opportunity to be with her mom and provide support, even though I had absolutely no idea how to handle that situation.

Today, I went to her life celebration and cried all the way through it. Hannah was an absolutely precious angel. Her family is so strong. On Saturday (her going HOME day!), her mother turned to me and said "Stephanie, I'm so sorry that she couldn't be your flower girl!" Imagine that. In her time of complete pain, she's thinking of me. What an amazing woman.

In nursing school, they warn us about becoming too attached to our patients. They school us all about how involved we should be with families. This idea has been thrown out the window when it comes to my patient population. I am with them TOO much to not have an emotional connection. I am the one who told Hannah's mom "We have a heart for Hannah" and "Her new heart is beating". I've been with them through the worst and the best. And I was there at the end...to hold that sweet baby and weep with every corner of my being.

My transplant team has been through the wringer this weekend. We lost three patients...some before transplant and some after. No one really can know how this feels except those involved, but I am so thankful to my friends and family who have just been there for me. It's more than I could ever handle alone.

Please pray for Hannah's family. Pray for Amanda, Jason, and little Cooper. They need to feel HIS arms around them. Pray for everyone who has been touched by Hannah Olivia's life. We are HURTING. This precious angel left such an impression on anyone she came in contact with.


Isn't she beautiful?

Another day...

No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. I'm very much alive and well, sitting peacefully in Euless. I have two precious puppies who are completely sacked out in their beds after chasing each other around the house for an hour. I have a boyfriend who loves me and is working in Hearne (YAY for work!). I have a job where I can get told by parents "She wanted Miss Stephanie to kiss her stubbed toe!". I've got a good life right now!

I had an AMAZING time in Montreal! Becca and I roamed so much around the streets of that beautiful city! Of course, my trip didn't start off so well! I ended up oversleeping and missing my flight! I am RETARDED! It worked out well though, I ended up on the same flight as Becca, so we were able to figure out how to get to our hotel together instead of suffering alone! I did miss the wine and cheese reception, but no harm done! The conference was okay, but not what I expected. At one point, I snuck Becca into a luncheon, and we proceeded to be seated with the entire board of directors for the conference! Hilarious! There were SO many beautiful things to see in that city! We walked everywhere and felt totally safe at all times of the day! I fulfilled my fantasy of going to a Rachael Ray recommended restaurant AND bagel shop....and got to spend a lot of quality time with one of my best friends while doing it! Yep...when fulfilling Rachael Ray fantasies is my most exciting time, I know there's sadness abounding. Anyways, it was a great trip. My only regret was that since I packed in a RUSH, I had the most terrible shoes to traipse around Montreal in! Needless to say, these shoes have since seen the dumpster.

Since I got home, I've been completely run down with the dreaded swine flu. Every day in clinic, we diagnose another kiddo...and they are SO pitiful! Today's case was a sweet little 2 year old with the most PATHETIC face! I swabbed her nose and she didn't even CRY she felt so bad!

The puppies are absolutely INSANE right now. Oliver is currently stalking his sister. She's hiding in the crate and he keeps walking up to it and howling. He's parked in front of it, just waiting for her to come out so he can attack her. I've now fed them, so they will hopefully calm down! One never knows!

We're now watching The Dark Knight in surround sound. It's going to be a great night! This movie is CREEPY!

Anyways....guess I should sign off now. Not really anything going on right now. Except for the completely passed out puppies! What's going on in your world?