One year later

One year ago, I lay awake in a hospital bed.  I could not go to sleep for anything.  My mind was racing, imagining the small face I was about to meet.  Wondering if I would be a good mommy to her.  Praying for her safe arrival.  Thinking of how her brothers would respond to a sister so much younger than both of them.  Being thankful that her daddy was asleep on the sofa chair next to me and not stuck on a train.  I could not turn my brain off for anything.   It turned out to be one of the longest and most memorable nights/days I have experienced.

She did not want to come in the manner discussed by the doctor and her parents.   That was too calm of an entrance.  Wrapping her tiny umbilical cord around her neck and causing her heart rate to drop dangerously low, low enough for an emergency c-section, this was the entrance our Olivia was destined for.

She has always been a gift from God.  I do not deserve to be the mommy of such a sweet spirit, but I have been truly blessed to be her mommy.  From the time I saw that tiny heart beating until I heard that ferocious screeching, I had prayed for her.  I continue to pray for her, about 10 times a day.

All of my worries and concerns for her quickly vanished.  Because we serve an awesome God, she was delivered safely into this world to share the blessings of God with us.  Two boys can't imagine life without her and continually make me smile with their treatment of her.  They carry her around non stop, stop their own games to play with her, and have the sweetest conversations with her.  Her daddy and I are blessed.

And so today, she turns one year old.  She grows smarter every day.  She is so close to walking, but will make the decision to do so in her own time,  like she has done everything else.  Her family and friends will come together today to to honor her and no doubt bestow upon her many singing toys that her brothers, daddy, and I will find ourselves singing at the most bizarre times.  (oh, I loathe that darn jungle toy!!!!)

I am thankful that one year later, we have a beautiful little girl to watch smash cake into her sweet face.  She is the most wonderful thing I have ever have been blessed to help make.  I love you, my amazing Olivia Kaylynne

Countdown

In a little over 2 weeks, my daughter will turn 1.   Yikes.

Where has the time gone?  Who has determined that my sweet little 5 lb 10 oz creation is allowed to grow up and be a big girl?  This person has NOT consulted me.

Tonight, I looked back at pictures from Jason and I's life together.  I watched Andrew and Jacob blossom before my eyes.  Same with Olivia.  It's scary.

I know that we bring children in this world to teach them about Jesus and then trust HIM that we are making the right decisions for their lives.  We raise them and release them into HIS care.

But that doesn't make it easier.  It doesn't help to look back and see Jacob as a sweet 12 year old that I have watched grow up before me.  Or Andrew grow from a sweet 2nd grader to a very "mature" 5th grader.  They make me smile every day.

And now, their sister has also made me smile.  Every day.  She now says mama and dada to the right people.  She says her bubbas names.  They love it.

Guess I'd better get back to planning her birthday party.  **GULP**  Guess it's coming whether I like it or not.

Silence

It is quiet, yet it is noisy. Does that make sense to you? I suppose not. Today is the first day in about five weeks that Olivia has not had her bubbas at her beckon call. And boy is she upset about it. She's been fussy and feisty. Crabby and cantankerous. Not our Olivia Kaylynne. She has crawled down to their room numerous times today and been frustrated that they are not there. Upon this realization, she squawks and fusses. She loves them. She lights up when she sees them. She laughs at everything they do. It's going to be a rough ride for our little Olivia. She has learned that her bubbas are right in her area and will entertain her at any time. Sadly, this is not the case. I am so glad that she has had the opportunity to have them close to her this summer. It has been so good for all of them. It was pinnacled by the fact that she learned to say their names while they were here.... AN DEW and JAKE. So sweet.