Ignorance is bliss....

La estupidez humana es infinita, pobres animales, vestir a los perros va contra-natura.

Increíble, Dios ¿cómo puede haber gente así?, cuanta tontería, un pico y una pala y a ver si te quedan ganas de vestir a un pobre perro.

TRANSLATION:
The human stupidity is infinite, poor animals, to dress the dogs goes against-nature. Incredible, God, how can thus have people, whichever triviality, a tip and a shovel and to see if you have left desire to dress a poor dog.


Wow. That's all I can say. Someone used these words to comment on my pictures of Liberty in the parade. Apparently, because I choose to have a little fun with my dog, that leaves me open for blatent attack on my own website. I did comment right after the coward, but I figured that most people probably don't read other people's comments...so I chose to bring this to light. I guess I am portrayed as a self-absorbed nutcase, for spending money and time on something that is not human. Wow. I take care of extremely sick kids for a living. I spend 36+ hours a week focused on something that is very stressful. I think I deserve a little break! Putting a silly dress on a dog and letting her be in a competition doesn't make me self-absorbed..it gives me an outlet for stress! Not caring about life...that would make me self-absorbed. Judging people on the way they choose to raise their children or act in public...that would make me self-absorbed. Putting myself first and not caring a lick about anyone else...that would make me self-absorbed. I'm just not like that. To you, oh brave soul, who chose to not even name yourself or speak in the language my blog is written in...Es una vergüenza que usted no tiene ninguna alegría en su vida. I have joy. Go find some! :)

WORN out!

Grace and her certificate

Ready to RACE! (with beatiful hair bows!)

Trying to RUN down the street

Ready to march in the parade!

Jack, the pirate

Ready for the parade!

The Buda Wiener Dog Races!

Oh, we're home! It was the most interesting time I've had in quite a while, to say the least! There were SO many dachshunds there...more than I have ever seen in one place at one time! Liberty actually behaved herself, with very few episodes of barking wildly. She basically was just interested in sniffing and investigation...not barking! Hooray for her! She didn't place in the costume contest, although she should have! She really did look fabulous! :) Her and Jack (my parents' dachshund) paraded down Main Street together...her in her dress and Jack in his pirate costume. The other puppies were all dressed too. Sadie matched Liberty, Oliver had a bowtie, and Sam (Michael and Jen's pup) was dressed as a fisherman, complete with fishing hat! THey all looked fabulous...but of course, we got no pictures of them as a group! How retarded are we! Everyone in that little town was so excited to see the doxies, and didn't mind the barking or the pooping, or the shrieking! :) It was so fabulous! Liberty raced very early on. She did SO wonderful! She got third in her heat...which is surprising considering I thought she was going to just sit down! Jack didn't fare as well. He trotted out about 10 feet, then turned around and went back to the starting line! Neither of them got anything, but they both got certificates! It was truly hilarious! The only bad part was that it had absolutely poured the night before, and there was mud EVERYWHERE! We were covered. It was still hilarious...and something we will absolutely be doing next year! :) I should go ahead and request those days off! Anyways, we're home now...and all exhausted. I'll post pictures so you can laugh! I didn't get any of Grace actually racing...those are all on video! :)

Dejected. She really REALLY hated that I made her wear this hat.

Ready to RACE! (I glued those bows to her head!)

Grace and Oliver. Fight to the death.

Weird feelings.

Oh my heavens. I had the weirdest thing happen to me yesterday. I felt fine all day...was at work...loving my job! :) On the way home, I started to notice that I wasn't able to focus on anything. My mind was working in a hundred different directions and I couldn't settle on any one thing. I felt EXTREMELY spacy, and even a little dizzy. I have NO idea what caused it! I even started feeling like my head was being pushed down (isn't that a line from Friends? "Lately, I haven't feel pulled so much as pushed!") Odd. So, my solution? BED! :) I went to bed early. Even more odd...I woke up at 11:45pm with that feeling like you didn't get enough sleep after a really good sleeping pill. I was dizzy and thought I was going to have to call in to work! I decided that I would try to sleep it off and figured that if I felt bad at work, I could always see if they could send me home. Thankfully, I felt fine! I haven't had any of those weird feelings today...but so STRANGE!

Anyways...life goes on. I'm working today, and having a great day so far! I've got great families that have been so much fun to work with! That makes my day go fast..and look! It's already 3:55pm! Ta DA! :) I have no idea what I'm going to do tonight...but I do know what I'm doing tomorrow! I have to weigh in! Hooray! :) (or :(, who knows!) I was all set to do it last week...and I forgot that I wasn't off on Saturday to do it! Stupid me! So, I haven't had the pleasure of getting on that scale in 2 weeks. The bad part is WW isn't open Friday morning. I have to wait until 11:30am to go weigh..which makes me starving! At least I have things to accomplish. I have to clean out my car and pack for the upcoming voyage to Buda, Texas. I have to go find Liberty some hair bows for her "formal" dress...even though I'm sure she'll find some way to get them off. She's retarded.

Well...must get going. I'm sure some child has medicines due. Hooray!

No wonder I don't feel old...

You Are 15 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Gracie's countdown.

I guess I'm supposed to be training Liberty to run. I've tried. She's impossible. I stand at one end of the yard, with her at the other, and scream for her to come...and she either will stand there or in ultimate defiance, sit down. She's nuts. All I can say is that at least she'll look good for the parade! It's going to be hilarious.

Yesterday, my friend from the past came into town again. He's a pilot and flies the same route for a couple of weeks at at time...hence the reason he's come over so frequently. Instead of letting me fail miserably at cooking, he brought recipes so that he could cook for me! I was just happy not to have to do it! Of course, in true Stephanie fashion, I attempted to help with the vegetables and the sad little broccoli's lost the battle. They ended up being stems with no green on top. Guess I steamed them too long. After that, we went out to dinner with some of his pilot friends. They promised not to talk pilot too much...HA! Sadly, I am starting to pick up more and more of the lingo...and that's scary!

I'm working tomorrow and Thursday...then off until Monday. I'm hoping to keep my streak of liking my job going for at least a couple of weeks! I was pretty exhausted after this past weekend..but at least I was not hating it! We've been absolutely packed lately, so at least I know I shouldn't have to float. I am sad though, because my TWU student that's been with me since February is finishing up tomorrow. She's really going to be an amazing nurse, and it's exciting to see her progress. It's SO hard for me to let her do everything. Most of the time, I spend sitting on my hands and chanting to myself "let her do it!". I had a student last semester, too...and this one is infinately better. I am loving it! Now, she has to leave...and that is sad. :(

I'm starting to get excited to get out of this house. When we send our rent check this week, we're sending our notice to our landlord. That kind of seals the deal...but thankfully, we know where we are going to end up. I have to make too many decisions in the next few weeks of what to keep and what to give away. I'm afraid I'm going to be so excited to give things away that I'll be left with only my bed and some clothes! Maybe it's time to start living like an adult...with things that match? NAH!

Oliver is shredding a stick all over my bedroom floor. He and Liberty were fighting over it, but I believe she's given up that he'll put it down. She's sitting next to me, with her head tucked into the chair. He's still chewing..and choking every once in awhile. I buy the boy toys and he chooses to eat sticks. I think that's just like children! You get them a fabulous toy, and they are much happier playing with the box.

Well...Becca will be home soon..and we're going to get our toes done. I can't decide what color I should do...the possibilities are endless! :)

Apparently, I'm Marcia Brady!

You Are Marcia Brady

Confident yet kind. Popular yet down to earth. You're a total dream girl. You've got the total package - no wonder everyone's a little jealous of you.

What Brady Are You?

I'm not sure if this fits....but it is pretty funny!

Maybe the beginning.....

Yesterday was SUCH a good day! It was busy and steady, but at no point in the day did I want to quit! :) That's a good thing, and a definate change from what it's been! Hooray! Maybe this is the beginning of good times. It was a wee bit loony this morning, but we got some of our nurses to come in to help...and now this day is going to go fine, too! :) Ta DA! :)

If you are EVER in Dallas...and want to go eat somewhere fabulous...go to the Grand Lux Cafe. It's in the Galleria..and well worth the money. I had this fabulous Wild Mushroom Burger, which is actually meatless. It's a bunch of mushrooms magically melded into a "burger". It's SO yummy. They also have the most fabulous appetizer in the whole WHOLE world. They are called "asian nachos". They are fried wontons with chicken, cheese, wasabi cream sauce, peanuts, and thai peanut sauce. OH MY HEAVENS. That is divinity on a plate. I could die happy after just one.

Today has been pretty good. I had a parent who I thought was so against me tell me they were so glad I was their child's nurse. I wasn't as crazy busy today, but it was still enough so I wasn't bored. I also got to talk to some of my work amigas that I haven't been able to in quite some time on account of the crazy business. It's been a good day. All my young'uns are sleeping right now...and I hope no one wakes them up for ANYTHING! :) Let the babies sleep! NEVER wake a sleeping baby! :)

I work Wednesday/Thursday this week...and then it's off to the Wiener Dog Races. I'm sure it will be broadcast on live webcam at www.budalionsclub.com. How fun is that!?! I'll have plenty of pictures...of Liberty standing at the starting line like a big goon. I'm sure she'll just stand there, refusing to move. At least everyone will have a good laugh. At last count, there were 304 doxies entered.

Next week I have jury duty. EW! I had jury duty last year! What is the deal with that? Do they just sit around going "Let's find a person to bug the crap out of". Why is not someone else's turn? I wish it was! Thankfully, I was scheduled to work, but now I get to go spend my day sitting in the jury room, anxiously awaiting whether or not I'll get called in. Last time, I was called in and apparently I didn't make a good enough choice for them. I guess I think that criminals should go to jail...SHOCKING.

I think it's weird to think that next week is MAY. Where has the time gone? I was just in Disney World...only that's almost 2 months ago! I was just at Christmas with my family...only that' like 5 months ago! Does time go faster with age? When I was little, it never went by fast. Now that I'd like it to slow down, it doesn't! I've been a nurse for almost a year and a half. NUTTY!

Well, I suppose I should go back to work now. But again, all the chillins are sleeping...so we do NOT wake them! :)

I am Fozzie Bear

You Are Fozzie Bear

"Wocka! Wocka!"You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up.If only your routine didn't always bomb!You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming.

The Muppet Personality Test

I found it! Here's Liberty's dress for the parade. She'll be in the "fancy" category!

Oliver Constantine

Oliver is watching television. He's laying on the bed with his head in his hands, carefully watching the TV. His eyes are not deviating. Apparently something has caught his attention...and his ears are perked up, too. This is the funniest thing I've seen him do today. He is so weird. When I say his name, he looks at me for a second, then goes back to the tv. Weirdo.

Stupid blogger.

ARG! I blogged for such a long time this morning! I turned around and it was GONE! Here's the run down...cause I'm not typing all that again! :)

1. I floated today. The float wasn't too bad. More on this later.
2. We're moving to Richardson in 2 months. Hooray that we can paint our rooms fun colors.
3. The dogs are crazy. (as always)
4. I'm now floated back to my own floor. I'm helping everyone else out. This is fine.
5. Now I'm going crazy. Work sucks. Staffing sucks. NO ME GUSTA!
6. My work friends are crazy. I love them.
7. I don't work the next two days. Hooray! :)
8. Interns are stupid.

See, now wasn't that nice and succinct? I'm sure that no one wanted to read all the stuff I previously wrote...so now you just get the gist of it all. Lovely.

A new dilemma!

Things around here are starting to go back to normal. I had a great work day on Sunday...hopefully trending towards what I know my work days should be! A friend and I even got to go to the Easter chapel service! It was nice to hear the passage where Mary finds Jesus not in the grave and sing Easter songs! I really enjoy Easter sunday...and that made it a little better. I work tomorrow and then this weekend...so I'm having plenty of time to not think about work!

I had a fun day yesterday! A good friend flew in and we spent the day together. We took the puppies to the dog park, a task I usually don't ask of my friends, seeing how my dogs are nuts! It was SO hot yesterday, so we spent the rest of the day inside. Inside time is good...especially with the air conditioner. We watched movies and then made dinner...even though I'm a miserable failure in the kitchen. Normally, I do okay...but something about a new pair of eyes on my cooking skills caused me to fail miserably. Oh well...it all turned out well, even though the menu changed half way through the preparation! :) It was a fun time anyways! :)

This morning, I went to visit a plastic surgeon. I've been struggling with a certain part of my body for quite some time, and now that I've lost a bunch of weight, the part is even more "angry"! :) As the receptionist put it, I'm trying to put all my parts back to where they used to be! :) I'm sure this is WAY too much info for some people....but oh well...it is my newest dilemma and prayer request...so read on! Anyways, the procedure that I want done is usually covered by health insurance. The doctor told me that mine may not be because the procedure he will have to do to get my desired results is a bit different that the insurance companies are used to. SO, after all that vague stuff...(and if you really are wanting more info, you can always email me and ask...I don't mind)...I have a very big prayer request. They are currently in the process of submitting my information to the insurance company. The financial counselor was very upfront in saying that this is going to be a big deal for the insurance to accept. Please pray for the person who will be considering my file! Pray that they will feel compassion on me and my current situation and accept my request to have insurance pay for this! If it is not covered, it will be considered "cosmetic" and will have to be paid for out of pocket. I also am in jeopardy of not being able to take time off work since it may not be considered a "medical necessity". If this happens, I'm not sure my boss will be sympathetic to my cause and give me the needed time off. I will hopefully have a decision in the next 3 months or so...less time would be nice! :) If they do choose to deny me, I can appeal as well. Anyways....please keep my situation in your prayers. It seems shallow, but it is at the forefront of my mind right now...and it's driving me crazy! Like I said before, if you want more info...just ask me! I'm never afraid to share! :)

The dogs are absolutely crazy. Oliver is running around the house, vascilating between shredding his toys and throwing them to himself. I have no idea why he's so nuts. He's just ripped the arm off of one of his favorite toys. Liberty is sleeping next to me...she's just finished being attacked by Oliver and is now apparently exhausted. Sadie is being anti-social under the covers! :)

Our refrigerator is broken. It's sad and disgusting. I'm afraid to eat anything in there. It's sad too...because there is a lot of yogurt that we just bought in there...rotting away. I'm waiting until they fix it to throw all that stuff away. I open it as little as possible. The Sears man is supposed to be here today between 1 and 5. Hopefully, it will be a quick and easy fix. The freezer still works...I have no idea why the fridge doesn't want to work anymore. Oh well...it was cleaned last week and right afterwards is when it stopped working...possessed piece of garbage! :)

Speaking of garbage....Becca and I are in packing mode. We've been cleaning and getting ready to move this summer...and it's just a TON of fun. We are throwing a ton of stuff away that's nasty and needed to be thrown away a lot time ago. We have so much garbage that the trash can is overflowing. I had to sneak the extra bags into our neighbor's trash can. We're also getting a pile together for a garage sale. I hate garage sales...but we really have so much stuff to get rid of. One of Becca's work friends was going to let us sell our stuff at hers...but now she's not going to have one...so it's left up to us. I think we're going to have one the third weekend in May..the same weekend as my brother's law school graduation. Becca said it's okay to have it by herself...especially since she knows how much I hate them. Hopefully we'll be able to figure it out..and find someone to sit there Friday morning while I'm gone and Becca's at work. Anyone interested? You can come and sell your stuff too! :)

This has turned out much longer than I anticipated. Maybe I should update more often! :) OH! One more thing! Becca and I have a place to live next year! :) We'll be moving in with our friends Nathen and Kerrie! (go back and read previous blogs for explanation!). They've told us we can pick our paint colors and everything! Hooray for paint! :) Anyways...more on that later.

Life eventually goes on...

It's been three weeks since the madness started. Unfortunately, we've been so busy at work, we haven't had a chance to even stop and think! Thankfully, we've held on to all our kids, but we as a staff are going quietly mad. Apparently, the nursing supervisors believe that we can work with less nurses on the floor. This is craziness and unsafe. I don't stress out easily, and I have had the most awful two weeks because there's just too much going on. I really REALLY need a good break....and a Caribbean vacation. You know when you go through those times in life when you just absolutely can't find joy in anything? This is one of those times. It just seems like everything is going wrong...and I can't figure out a way to stop it. At work, we've had these "debriefing" talks this past week that are supposed to help us verbalize our feelings and realize that other people are having the same kinds of feelings. On Wednesday, we had 2 sessions. I didn't go the first session because I didn't want to start out my day reliving the past events and feeling sad the rest of the day. I decided to go to the evening session. Unfortunatly, I was the only one there. I did get some free therapy from the psychologist who was going to be leading the group. He said that my problem isn't that I feel guilty about these kids' deaths. That's true...I don't think there was a single thing I did wrong in any of those cases. He said the problem was that I feel out of control, which is absolutely true. I hate not knowing what's going to happen, it's one of my greatest faults. The fact that I can't control what happens to these children is absolutely terrifying to me. Okay, so I'm tired of talking about it. I think time is going to be the best medicine in my case (or it will as long as I don't continue to go crazy at work!)

Becca and I are in the process of getting ready to move. I really love this house, and the location is fabulous, but I hate parking my car outside, not sure if it will be vandalized or not. I don't like that there are ghetto apartments around the corner and people who hang around just waiting for me to leave so they can sneak into my house. We're trying to figure out what we're going to do...where to go...etc... We've had several ideas, none of them are great. The dilemma is that our friends Nathen and Kerrie have offered us their house to rent after they move to Austin for three years starting next summer. Nathen's applying to UT law, and they would like their house to be inhabited by someone they know. I love their house, and am excited about living there, but that gives us a year without somewhere to live. I hate apartments and don't want to put the puppies through that when they've gotten used to a yard. I don't want to get the money for a massive deposit on a house, only knowing that I'm going to live there for a year. We were just sharing our situation with our friends on the day we went to Scarborough Faire. It just got mentioned in passing and then the conversation changed quickly. Bec and I got back into the care and drove to the Faire (love that E on the end!). When we got out of the car, we met back up with our friends and started walking to the entrance. Nathen and Kerrie were on this trip and presented us with an intriguing offer. They offered us their two spare bedrooms for the coming year and a HUGELY reduced rent so we don't have to move twice. That's such an amazing offer! I can't imagine asking two unmarried people to come and share my house....and bring their three dogs! Now, our puppies would have to get used to three cats....but they'd adjust....or not! :) We're going to have them over sometime soon to chat about all this (cause I need my DSL and TIVO!) and it would be SO nice not to have to move again!

Puppies are doing fine. Oliver is currently sacked out on my bed, as if he has put in a full day's work. I know for a fact he has spent the morning sitting by the front door, willing Becca and I to come home. We were out at Half Price....selling all our crap to them so we don't have to move it! I LOVE getting rid of 1500 dollars worth of nursing books and getting $36! Hooray!

Well, I'd better get going. I'm sure I've bored you enough...and it's almost time for me to go to Kohl's! Big sale day! :) Ta DA!

Love it, hate it.

This week, I've had a love/hate relationship with my job. I absolutely know that I've been called to do what I do. I love the kids, love the friends I have made working here, and love the kind of nursing I've decided to specialize in. I hate that these kids are so fragile. Today's been my first day back since the most recent death, and it hasn't been fun. Thankfully, I've been SO SO busy...busy enough to take my mind off that and throw myself into working. Hopefully, it will get easier for me, but right now, I just don't want to be here. I wish I could go on vacation! :)

Yesterday, Becca and I, along with a group of friends, went to Scarborough Faire. That place is hilarious! First of all, apparently, it doesn't matter if you're a small or big woman, your goal for the day should be to put on a corset and hoist your chest up to the highest place they've ever been and allow everyone to see this. Lovely. I saw WAY more boobs than I ever wanted to. What a gift. Second, if you're a guy, I am guessing it's acceptable to wear tight pants....tights almost. Ew EW EW! Just imagine that for a minute! :) I did have a good time. The weather was great, sunny and windy, but not hot! I even got a sunburn, which I wasn't expecting! :) I hate sunburn, so now I'm dealing with the consequences.....but at least it's not too bad. I have definately had worse!

This week, it is my goal to finish my online classes. In nutrition, I only have 1 more test to take. In Government, I have to write 6 essays and do 2 web activities. It should probably only take me one morning, if I get right to it and don't put it off. I'd really like to be done with it. It hasn't been as bad as I thought it would. I've applied to UTA for the RN-BSN program, and I'm just waiting to hear back from them. That would start in August and finish in May 2007. I just need to get it over with...I figure, if I pay all that money (even though Children's will reimburse me!), I'd better pay attention and just get through it!

Well, I'm sure I'm supposed to be doing something. I'd better go find out.

Where is God?

I think I mentioned in my last post about a patient that coded horribly last week. I thought that the bad things were going to be over. This precious little boy was waiting for a heart transplant. I thought that him coding was going to finally get him the heart that he so desperately needed. I just knew that any minute, we were going to get the wonderful news that a heart was on its way. That news never came. I got the call this morning that he is being taken off life support. I know that this precious boy has been through more than any of us...and he deserves to go see Jesus, but it doesn't make it any easier for those of us who took care of him and loved him and his wonderful family. I can't imagine how someone who doesn't believe in God would handle a situation like this...but I think it's just as hard for those of us who do believe. Why would God choose that little boy? Why didn't his heart miracle ever come? It's a hard thing to fathom that a loving God would choose to have a family go through this? Then, it hits....this little boy was a miracle, new heart or not. He had a family that loved God and loved him. He had friends. He had nurses who adored him. He was a blessing to us...and if that was the reason he was born, than God accomplished his purpose for this little one. It doesn't make it any easier for us, especially since we've had such a run of this kind of thing lately. There's a song by Casting Crowns that absolutely fits this situation. I heard it for the first time in concert a couple of months ago, and it's stuck with me. I put the actual song on my myspace page, if you're interested in hearing it. www.myspace.com/redheadramblings Otherwise, I found the lyrics, too. It's hard for me to understand God's ultimate plan, especially working in the medical field. Why do some make it and some don't? I know I shouldn't question what His plans are, but it still happens. This song reminds me that He is in control, and I still need to praise Him...even when it's at the worst.

"Praise You in the Storm" by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Do bad things always come in threes?

Another one of my "kids" died today. He was three years old. He has been sick his entire life, and I'd wager he's been in the hospital 2 of his 3 years. Please keep his family in your prayers. He was such a sweet boy, and his family has been through a lot.

I think bad things must come in threes. If this is true, than the bad must be over for awhile. I have cried over kids three times this week...two deaths and one massively awful code. There's a horrible feeling when I go to work now...I just don't know what kids are going to not be there the next day. It's a strange feeling. They always tell you not to get emotionally attached. If there's no emotional attachment, it won't be as hard when bad things happen to the kids. The thing is, that emotional attachment is what makes us good nurses! I don't like those nurses who just go in and out and treat the patients like things, and not the little precious people that they are. It's a risk I have to take in my profession, I guess. I think it's absolutely worth it. When I see these kids over and over, I start to develop relationships with them and their parents. I love that! :)

I have off tomorrow...and I didn't know that until about halfway through the day! I thought I was working today and tomorrow!! :) Happiness! I am actually working Tues/Wed, which is fine with me. It's all good! :) I got floated today, which means I won't be up again for awhile. I was ready to get it over with. It's actually better to get it done on a Sunday...not as busy.

WELL, now that I don't have to go to bed...I might just stay up all night! (or until 11. I'm pretty much a weenie)