Life eventually goes on...

It's been three weeks since the madness started. Unfortunately, we've been so busy at work, we haven't had a chance to even stop and think! Thankfully, we've held on to all our kids, but we as a staff are going quietly mad. Apparently, the nursing supervisors believe that we can work with less nurses on the floor. This is craziness and unsafe. I don't stress out easily, and I have had the most awful two weeks because there's just too much going on. I really REALLY need a good break....and a Caribbean vacation. You know when you go through those times in life when you just absolutely can't find joy in anything? This is one of those times. It just seems like everything is going wrong...and I can't figure out a way to stop it. At work, we've had these "debriefing" talks this past week that are supposed to help us verbalize our feelings and realize that other people are having the same kinds of feelings. On Wednesday, we had 2 sessions. I didn't go the first session because I didn't want to start out my day reliving the past events and feeling sad the rest of the day. I decided to go to the evening session. Unfortunatly, I was the only one there. I did get some free therapy from the psychologist who was going to be leading the group. He said that my problem isn't that I feel guilty about these kids' deaths. That's true...I don't think there was a single thing I did wrong in any of those cases. He said the problem was that I feel out of control, which is absolutely true. I hate not knowing what's going to happen, it's one of my greatest faults. The fact that I can't control what happens to these children is absolutely terrifying to me. Okay, so I'm tired of talking about it. I think time is going to be the best medicine in my case (or it will as long as I don't continue to go crazy at work!)

Becca and I are in the process of getting ready to move. I really love this house, and the location is fabulous, but I hate parking my car outside, not sure if it will be vandalized or not. I don't like that there are ghetto apartments around the corner and people who hang around just waiting for me to leave so they can sneak into my house. We're trying to figure out what we're going to do...where to go...etc... We've had several ideas, none of them are great. The dilemma is that our friends Nathen and Kerrie have offered us their house to rent after they move to Austin for three years starting next summer. Nathen's applying to UT law, and they would like their house to be inhabited by someone they know. I love their house, and am excited about living there, but that gives us a year without somewhere to live. I hate apartments and don't want to put the puppies through that when they've gotten used to a yard. I don't want to get the money for a massive deposit on a house, only knowing that I'm going to live there for a year. We were just sharing our situation with our friends on the day we went to Scarborough Faire. It just got mentioned in passing and then the conversation changed quickly. Bec and I got back into the care and drove to the Faire (love that E on the end!). When we got out of the car, we met back up with our friends and started walking to the entrance. Nathen and Kerrie were on this trip and presented us with an intriguing offer. They offered us their two spare bedrooms for the coming year and a HUGELY reduced rent so we don't have to move twice. That's such an amazing offer! I can't imagine asking two unmarried people to come and share my house....and bring their three dogs! Now, our puppies would have to get used to three cats....but they'd adjust....or not! :) We're going to have them over sometime soon to chat about all this (cause I need my DSL and TIVO!) and it would be SO nice not to have to move again!

Puppies are doing fine. Oliver is currently sacked out on my bed, as if he has put in a full day's work. I know for a fact he has spent the morning sitting by the front door, willing Becca and I to come home. We were out at Half Price....selling all our crap to them so we don't have to move it! I LOVE getting rid of 1500 dollars worth of nursing books and getting $36! Hooray!

Well, I'd better get going. I'm sure I've bored you enough...and it's almost time for me to go to Kohl's! Big sale day! :) Ta DA!